I have a hard time pointing out people that are GLBT. If I see a guy who is a little on the effiminate side, I give him the "benifet of the doubt" and just think he's sensitive. This is going to casue trouble when I try to date. There is this one guy that I like but I can't tell if he's gay or not becuase you can't always rely on how masculine or girly the person is and I don't want to just go up to him and ask "So are you gay?", especially if I find out he's straight!
2006-07-12 07:16:59 · 12 answers · asked by Brennen B 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
There is no such thing as gaydar. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and straight people are all just people. Thinking they have to look one way or another is just a sterotype.
This question has been asked and answered before, I'm telling you cause people gave some good ideas. Some were just asking in a relaxed way, looking for rainbow necklaces or something like that, asking about their boyfriend or girlfriend, and getting close to check their reaction.
2006-07-12 09:01:42 · answer #1 · answered by MindStorm 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, also remember if you are young and testing your gaydar on other young men, they don't always know they are gay or are in denial, so this complicates the issue.
I've always found that if I believe I'm picking up a blip on the gaydar screen, I need to speak with the guy, even if just briefly. Asking for directions (don't ask for the time....aside from the watch on your wrist giving you away, it's part of an old and tired gay pick-up line from days gone by) or something like that is fine. Better yet compliment him (sincerely) on a piece of jewelry or hair cut, etc. When he speaks to you, look for eye contact. Eye contact is a GREAT sign, but if he's not looking you in the eye, you can tell where he is looking. Is he sizing YOU up?
Practice some. You'll get better. And you don't ever have to ask if a guy is gay. If he's interested, he'll find a way to tell you.
2006-07-12 07:24:07 · answer #2 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gaydar as such is very personal, and...can't really help you with that. BUT, as for if someone is interested in YOU or not, that one I've got covered. I'm a big fan / proponent / noticer of "the gaze". Straight men are not supposed to make eye contact for more than a certain amount of time. You can tell, because it will start to make YOU uncomfortable (the joys of social conditioning). However, if someone's interested, they will be looking at you. A lot. And they will usually hold eye contact with you for longer that they "should". OR, they'll look away really quickly, but then keep looking at you. This takes some amount of practice, admittedly, to be able to percieve well, but I'd suggest trying it out in some queer space (gay bar / club somewhere etc) and then you can take it out into the big world. ;)
2006-07-12 19:22:59 · answer #3 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you start mastering the art of the "Dropped Clue." You should make reference to something in conversation that would be meaningful from the LGBT cultural perspective but less meaningful otherwise. Examples: a given historical event didn't take place in 1965, it took place in "pre-Stonewall times"; allusions to artists, musicians, writers, etc., with gay themes & who represent gay worldviews are also useful. Try it...
Also, accept that sometimes one's gaydar works imperfectly, and you might periodically embarrass yourself by guessing wrong. But here are some definitive clues to be on the lookout for:
(1) Ambiguity in gender for ex-partners. "I was dating this one person, " is a very promising start for a story.
(2) Love of totally gay things--like Melissa Etheridge (for women) or knowing who Aviance is (men).
Good luck following the Yellow Brick Road...
2006-07-12 07:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by snowbaal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's gonna take some time, and like all the other responses if your young it's gonna take some experience to fix your gaydar. Plus nowadays gaydar is so off cause of meteros so it's gonna take a while to fix.
2006-07-12 07:58:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i replaced into given one at delivery yet that one wore out from previous age. I had to purchase a sparkling one yet that one broke from incorrect use. 0.33 one's a allure! and that i trust 'darqphoenixsol' i'm able to't wait til my gaydar is going digital!
2016-12-10 08:32:13 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't putting the "benefit of the doubt" character on the straight person put a negativistic spin on what it means to be gay?
2006-07-12 07:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always go for prolonged eye contact....it invariably means 1 of 2 things....1 he wants to fight you or 2 he wants to make love to you...you'll know the difference...this is a psychological fact..not something off the top of my head.
2006-07-12 07:33:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't fix what youhaven't developed. You don't get it right away - it comes with time. Once you spend time around gay people it kicks in for you.
2006-07-12 07:19:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i just assume everyont is gay till proven hetero. all my str8 friends had to come out to me. the lines of distinction are blurring anyway. don't ask if he's gay, ask who he's dating or dated or likes. that'll keep you from getting beat up
2006-07-12 07:22:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋