Give me some of your favorite jokes?

Question

name some of your favorite jokes!

Answer 1

1 ) Your mama's glasses are so thick that when she lookes on a map she can see people waving .
2 ) Yo mama's so dumb, her favorite color is clear .
3 ) Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said to be continued .
4 )Yo mama is so dumb, she tripped over a cordless phone.
5 )Yo mama is so dumb, she thought a quarter back was a refund.
6 )Yo mama so ugly, she's not bald, it's just her hair runnin' away from her face
7 )Yo mama is so fat, that every time you smack her butt, you can ride the waves!
8 )Yo mama is so fat, she's the reason they declared world hunger.
9 )Yo mama is so dumb, when her radio batteries were dead, she buried them.
10 )Yo mama so skinny, she can hoola hoop a cheerio.
11 )Yo momma's so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.
12 )Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, she walked into church and smiled and they all sang ''Let it shine, Let it shine, Oh let it shine.''
13 )Your mama is so fat, her stomach arrives home 30 minutes before she does.
14 )Yo mama's like a shotgun, 2 cocks and she's ready to blow.
15 )Your mama so nasty, that after we had phone sex I got an ear infection!
16 )Yo' mama is so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
17 )Yo' mama so dumb, when she filled out her job application and it said ‘sex,’ she wrote “not lately.”
18 )You so ugly, yo mama had to feed you with a slingshot!
19 )Yo mama''s so nasty, I came over and asked what''s for dinner and she opened her legs and said "TUNA SUPRISE!"
20 )Yo mama is so fat when she skips a meal, the stock-market drops.
ENJOY !!

Answer 2

there was three people 1 was chines 1 was Mexican and 1 was American the devil made a bet with these three people the bet was if they went all the way up the hill with out the camel farting thy would get 10000$. so the American was the first to go only a quarter up the hill then the Mexican went he made it almost up the hill then it farted. the chines went all the way up with out the camel. the devil asked him how he did it he said

me no dobm me chines me stick cork up camels bome

Answer 3

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for
several years.

He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice --
picnic tables,

Horseshoe courts, and some orange and grapefruit trees.

The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for
swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the
pond to look it over,
as he hadn't been there for a
while.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some
fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and
laughing with glee.

As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young

Women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all
went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him,

"We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to
watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of
the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said,

"I'm here to feed the alligator."

Old men can still think fast.

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Two guys are drinking in a high rise building bar on the top floor. One of the guys says to the other, "Hey buddy, how you doing today?"The other responds, "Doing good thanks." He then tells the other guy,"Hey, have you heard that up here in this high rise building bar if you open that window and climb to the edge, you can fly between the buildings?" The other guy responds,"Yeah? Prove it." So the first guy opens the window, climbs on the ledge, then flings himself off only to hover between the buildings, then he returns to the ledge and gets inside and sits back down. "Wow!" exclaims the other guy. So he gets up, opens the window climbs to the ledge and flings himself off only to fall to his death. The bartender turns to the first guy and says,"Boy, Superman, you're a lousy drunk."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A duck walks into a bar and asks "Got any oranges?"
The bartender responds"We don't have any oranges"
The next day same duck walks into the bar and asks, "Got any oranges?"
The bartender looks up and again says,"I told you, we don't have any oranges. Now quit coming in here and asking for them, we don't have any. The next time you come in here asking I'll nail your bill to the bar!"
Duck comes in the next day and asks,"Got any nails?" Bartender tells him,"No." Duck asks,"Got any oranges?"
( I know corny, but cute c'mon lol)

Answer 4

heres a joke
-there is a man and his wife
-the husband finds a magical lamp and has been granted 3 wishes
-here's the catch, whatever the husband wishes for, the wife gets doubled
-so he wished for a car, she gets two cars
-he wished for a house, she gets two houses
-then he wished he could laugh half to death, the wife is dead

get it?

Answer 5

A pirate walks into a bar, with a steering wheel in his pants

Bartender says "hey, you got a steering wheel in your pants"

the pirate says "yarrr, it's driving me nuts"











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Answer 6

a chicken walks into a bar. Ouch.

Answer 7

If a chicken coup had 4 doors on it, what would it be called??

A Seddan!!!! ha ha ha

Answer 8

your so ugly that the neighbors comes burgling your house to close the curtains

Answer 9

Why? Go find your own.