Back in january I got with a girl I thought I can make things work with. This girl was the first I ever brought home to my parents….The other night she received a friendly how are you call from an old guyfriend. Needless to say I gave her a hard time mainly because it was 2am. later that night she told me she still had and will always have feelings for him because he was her first (sexually). I don’t have any attachments to my first. Is that acceptable? Should i break it off even though she says she cares for me more? (POSTED EARLIER. ALITTLE MOREINFO)THESE 2 WERE NEVER REALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP. SHE HAD ALL THESE FEELINGS FOR HIM BUT HE WANTED TO KEEP HER ON THAT BOOTY CALL STATUS AND THIS WAS ONLY WHEN HE WASNT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. THE ONLY REASON THIS DISCONTINUED IS BECAUSE SHE MOVED FROM NY TO PA. NOW SHE IS WITH MESO IS HER HAVING FEELINGS FOR THIS GUY ACCEPTABLE? IS IT WRONG TO MAKE HER CUT THIS GUY FROM HER LIFE? DOES SHE SOUND LIKE THE TYPE THAT CAN BE TRUSTED WHEN SHE VISITS NY
2006-07-12 06:24:31 · 10 answers · asked by richie rich 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all, a woman's first sexual partner will always be in her thoughts...whether the thoughts are good or bad, that depends on the situation.
You can not be mad at her for being attached to something that is so huge in a females life. Women tend to tie sex with emotions. That doesn't mean that she doesn't know any better.
What is o.k. is for you to ask her to cut ties with him. It is for respect of you. there is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex, but when there was physical ties involved, when you move on, that is exactly what should be done.
Point out to her that whole, "How would you feel if I was the one talking to...." If she says she would be ok with it, than she is just being inconsiderate of your feeling and emotions.
In other words...I'd leave her now in that case.
If she doesn't respect you enough to cut off ties with her old flame, she doesn't have enough respect for herself to say "no" to the ex if she bumps into him.
Good luck. I hope it all works out for you.
2006-07-12 06:38:22 · answer #1 · answered by val schmal 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You will never forget you first. I have not. I was with a guy for 4.5 years. I still have feelings for him and I will always love him. But I do not have the same feelings for him as I do my husband. I am in love with my husband. You can not control what or who she has feelings for.
Maybe the x that called at 2am did not know that she had a bf. Let her have her own feelings and privacy. If it is meant to be with you two it will be.
2006-07-12 13:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by Lizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope! a girl will always have feelings for her first but not to the extent that she will take a 2 am phone call with you right there or a 2 am phone call at all. You might want to ask her exactly what kind of "feelings" she has for him. My opinion...tell her to move on from him or move out!
2006-07-12 13:30:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not acceptable. She can never make you feel like you're her "one and only".. That's how it's supposed to be. A person in a relationship is supposed to make the other person feel special. She's not making you feel special. She's making that other dude seem special. I'd dump her if I were you. Or tell her to quit talking about/to that other dude. If she doesn't, she's still attatched to him and you should move on.
-Chantel
2006-07-12 13:31:50 · answer #4 · answered by abbas_n_chantel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's normal for a girl to feel an attachment to her first, no matter how much of a jerk he is. I don't think you should break up with her because of it, but I think you should keep an eye on her and make sure he doesn't hurt her.
2006-07-12 13:30:29 · answer #5 · answered by Allison 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you Love some one accept it in the same manner he or she is.....never try to change the person....because then it will not be LOVE.....
2006-07-12 13:28:41 · answer #6 · answered by Ashish M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...thats too much drama....for one thing..if at all she had feelings for this guy...she needs to keep that sh!t to herself...and not burdon you with it...cause damn...almost every girl will have feelings for her first...but why make whatever new love/boyfriend/girlfriend....suffer and be reminded about it daily....all i have to say is wow....
2006-07-12 13:30:38 · answer #7 · answered by raven wants it... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u absolutly LOVE her then u stay with her. it doesnt matter if u can trust her, just go to ny with her
2006-07-12 13:34:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shouldn't mind it first is first there's always feelin' for first but u say she cares u y u take it seriously
2006-07-12 13:30:04 · answer #9 · answered by sijon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes YES
2006-07-12 13:27:55 · answer #10 · answered by ashly b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋