What do you do to keep your brain alive when you're surrounded by intellectually inferior people?

Question

I'm not trying to be mean or full of myself. I'm a military wife with a law degree and I'm fluently trilingual, but due to my husband's job I seem to end up meeting mostly other military wives - and the ones I've met so far seem unbelievably dense and more concerned with "keeping up with the Joneses" and endlessly boring stories about poopy diapers that it seems impossible to find someone to have an intellectually stimulating conversation with! What's more is that I come from a good family with solid moral values, a good education and social background - and I feel like I'm surrounded by a bunch of white trash hicks! HELP!

I live in a small town with nothing to do. The mall has ONE floor; the only museum in town is so small that you've seen everything in 15 minutes, and it seems that in order to be "accepted" into many of the military "cliques" you need kids (common ground). We don't have kids yet, and I'm used to being able to talk about world events, politics, debate different topics with people who KNOW something about them - these people seem to neither know nor CARE to know anything outside their small little world!

Answer 1

I understand where you are coming from, but sometimes it's possitive to have some "average joe" friendships that can help you relax and discover things that you weren't aware of.
It never hurts to have more friends... even if you look down on these wives, maybe once you get to know them better they end up surprising you! Not to mention that, by knowing them better, maybe you could end up swaying the conversation to the topics that interest you, and influence them to become more intelligent and interested in those things you like.

The only way to meet people that share your interests is trying to meet people of all kinds. That way, you eventually find the gold chips in the rough, and make real, strong friendships.

If not, bring a book to the dinners and that's it. If these people end up being really shallow and boring, you could always look for other friendships by trying to go to places that intellectual people frequent, such as libraries, museums, art galleries, poetry bars, etc.

Answer 2

You are so full of it. If you are so educated, smart and intellectual why don't you try and get a job? Maybe the people from the small town you're living in are also uneducated white trash too. I am a military wife, have a degree, can speak English, Spanish and Portuguese and stay at home with my children and I know a lot of other wives in my same situation. But we don't judge people, we support each other and yes we can have meaningful conversations too. i seriously feel for your husband because nobody will want to be around you once they find out what they think about other peoples wife's. Don't blame it your misery on your husbands job. The fact that you think you're better than everybody else has nothing to do with his job. I hope that you go back to your social circle and your moral values ( being judgmental is not a good value, humility is) and get the hell away from good military wives.

Answer 3

I understand your difficulty ... is there any way to find common ground with these other wives? For example, maybe start a book club where you all can discuss the same topic, but be sure to offer up a variety of genres. You never know, you might find a kindred spirit!

There are also many forum communities online that you could join for stimulating intellectual discussions and debates.

Good luck.

Answer 4

If you consider all the military wives to be "white trash hicks", you are doomed to spend all your time with your own "intellectually superior self". Surely there must be one woman with some education that you could have a conversation with, failing that, there is always the internet, where hopefully you can get in on some dialogue that will require you to use a few brain cells.

Answer 5

you know, i am a military wife, have two kids and find myself going insane day to day because i am not allowed to have an intelligent adult conversation whenever i would like. yes, us wives to get into the habit of forming friends with those who share common grounds, and children is a big common ground among military wives, but just because we have friends like this does not mean that we are dense, non-educated hillbillys with nothing better to do with our time than chat about kids. in fact i have a college degree and i love to share my opinion and debate on the behalf of my beliefs. maybe what we should do (yes i am giving myself some advice here) is reach out. voice who you are, let others know what kind of person you are, what your intrests are, where your beliefs are grounded. there are women out there that would probably love to get rid of the kids for the day to go have coffee and discuss politics, education or religion. just find them and you may be surprised what those poopy diaper stories are covering up . . . it may be a woman who is just like you, searching for that intellectually stimulating conversation :)

Answer 6

I'm not a military wife (I'm a farmer's wife), but I often feel the same way. When I'm alone I can keep myself satisfied by reading interesting books and sometimes even giving myself writing assignments. When I'm with my husband and his (our) friends, I ask a lot of questions about the things they're interested in - the things they actually know something about. NASCAR, for instance. I now know a lot about NASCAR that I didn't know before. And cooking. These aren't always topics of my choosing, but at least it's intelligent conversation of a sort. My diary can hear all about the other (higher) thoughts dying to get out of my brain.

Answer 7

You need time to yourself. We are plauged in this society by this incessent need to be "in contact" all the time. Even to the point where what used to be alone time--the commute to work, public transportation, etc--is filled with cell phone calls. People are never alone anymore even though they probably SHOULD be.

I have a group of peers I hang out with that might not be intellectually advanced but they do know how to party... So I call them up when the mood arises. Makes for a good contrast from my alone time. And with these people I just try to look for other qualities that they may possess other than intellect and value them. The poster who said the "losers" according to society party best had a very good point!

And some of these people upon examination don't have anything else to compell me to hang out with them. That is why I'm a loner by nature. I think sometimes the brightest people feel this inclination from time to time. Taking retreat from the world is hardly the same as running away. You are going to a place where your thoughts run free in an environment controlled entirely by you. You obviously have the Internet, so there is no need to be out of touch. And if you are truly that much more intelligent than your company, then you will find that your own mental monologues are far more interesting than any dialogue you could have with any of them.

You have three options. One, find value in these people other than their minds. Two, go "scouting" for other people with high IQs. Join Mensa or something like that. From the tone of your post I think you either cannot or will not take Option 2. That leaves Option 3: Spend more time alone and learn to enjoy the world on your own instead of through the prism of socialization.

Many of the world's great men took Option Three. Being alone does not mean you have to avoid the world--it just means you do not need others to enjoy it.

"Once we have resolved only to see those who will treat us morally and virtuously, reasonably and truthfully, without treating conventions, vanities and ceremonials as anything other than props of polite society; when we have taken this resolve (and we have to do so or we will end up foolish, weak or villainous), the result is that we have to live more or less on our own"--Chamfort

"There is in this world only the choice between lonliness and vulgarity"--Schopenhauer

"It is sometime said of someone who lives alone that they do not like society. That is like saying of a man that he does not like going for walks because he is not fond of walking at night in the Forest of Bondy*"--Chamfort

*--Forest of Bondy was a well known haunt for bandits and robbers and was extremely dangerous at the time.

Answer 8

Well, I have felt this way at one time. Once, when not looking for a serious relationhsip, I began dating someone who I considered brain dead as far as intellect went but was fun to be with. During that time I had to maintain a close relationship with my brother. Lots of phone calls to discuss things that could stimulate my brain. I read a lot and I pondered all the time. I would drive down the road and think about the physics of the things I passed by.
It got me through. As far as the hicks are concerned, entertain yourself quietly in your mind with all their drama.
I think it's only mean if you hurt someone's feelings with it. Diversity is wonderful, we all contribute to society in different ways. As long as you are only trying to stimulate your brain and keep your sanity... what's wrong with that?

Answer 9

I'm sure you knew what you were getting in to when you were planning on marrying a military man.

If you're away from access to family and friends you can try joining a local meet-up group where you can find people that share your interests. The people that currently surround you sound demoralizing. You need to meet new people, but in order for that to happen you need to remove yourself from your current environment at least once in a while.

http://www.meetup.com

Answer 10

I think you took that sentence right from my mind! I too feel the same, and I know how frustrating it can be to be surrounded by morons! There are a few intelligent people out there, but they can be rare. If intelligent people annoy you as much as they annoy me, Yahoo Answers is probably the most stressful place on the internet for you to go! I hope you find someone you can talk to who is not brain-dead - this is one case where "If you can't beat them, join them" is NOT an option! ;-)