About 2 months ago - my wife confessed she was having an afffair with someone she works with.
She was upset - promised to go to counseling, promised she would quit or do whatever it takes to keep us together.
I'll admit i was shocked at first - but after we talked for awhile, I realized I was o.k with it. In fact - our sex life has skyrocketed, our relationship seems stronger...I am almost in love with my wife even more each day.
She still works at the same company - as far as I know she is still having her affair. I dont ask - she does not tell. We talk about her lover sometimes during sex - but thats it.
My question is....has any other husband "allowed" an affair??
I know I should be mad, upset, angry....but her affair has lit a spark between us.
2006-07-12 06:17:35 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You should really go to couple's therapy to get this all straightened out. Sure, you may be disease free, she may be disease free, he may be disease free, but what happens if he sleeps with another woman who has a disease? that disease gets passed all the way back to you.
2006-07-12 06:21:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a psychologist or anything close to, but it sounds as if you get turned on maybe to know that someone else is "doing" your wife. There are a lot of people like that. A lot of couples are swingers and have different people joining them in sex. A lot of things can go wrong though if you continue to let that happen. She could possibly get pregnant and/or contract some sort of disease. But if it is something that doesn't bother you at all, kudos! The question you need to ask yourself though is: Does she really love you? Did she only confess out of guilt? Don't keep yourself vulnerable. You could end up really hurt if say she decided to leave you for one of her partners.
Good luck!
2006-07-12 15:58:06 · answer #2 · answered by ♥michele♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a woman who has been in your situation. I can understand that your relationship is now stronger and you love your wife more everyday.
I know with me it took along time to get past the hurt of it but what made it easier for me was that he choose me and still came home to me nightly.
Once in awhile the idea of him having sex with another woman did excite me after the whole thing blew over. I know he isnt having an affair anymore and he did make a mistake as well hes told me that too and that he loves and wants to be with only me.
Some people think that if it makes the relationship work then continue with it. I personaly wounldnt allow it to happen but if it is working for you adn your wife then contiue it........but just remeber someone could and will likely get hurt in the long run.
Best of luck!!!
2006-07-12 06:34:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! That's new. But I have to give you credit. You are better than me. You haven't broken his neck, and you haven't kicked her to the curb.
I believe you are holding onto the fact that your love life has skyrocketed. Why couldn't this have happened when it was just the two of you? She obvious doesn't have any regard for you if she is still in the affair. If she did, then she would stop and try to keep that love that you two have built.
First of all, it's adultery. Second, it's a bad situation, if there's any drama that sparks between those two.
Not a good place for you dude.
2006-07-12 06:25:42 · answer #4 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a husband but i have a little idea of what will happen You are going through a honeymoon stage (shock) and it is still new to you 2 mths ago is not very long ago, the sex is good now but as long as it goes on (the affair because you know it is still going on) when your sex life starts to go down It will creep back on you and then it will really hit you
2006-07-12 06:30:14 · answer #5 · answered by cath 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the thought of another man wanting your wife, relights the spark. Making her irresistible...a challenge all over again.
Men are hunters. And the fact that another man has conquered your wife, it brings competition back to your relationship.
If it truly doesn't bother you, then there is nothing wrong with that.
You guys might even consider swinging. With your mentality about it, you'd both probably have a guilt free good time.
2006-07-12 06:28:01 · answer #6 · answered by val schmal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow... you must really love her. That's a good thing. I hope she'll start treating you better in the future.
It would still be a good thing to talk about this whole affair thing. Communication is most important and lack of communication breaks people apart. Keep talking about this. I hope she realizes how good you've been to her and becomes more loyal to you.
You two should go to counseling.
2006-07-12 06:21:50 · answer #7 · answered by bachlava_9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are crazy!! She may bring something home to you that you don't want!! Maybe YOU are the one that needs counseling!! I don't see how the affair can skyrocket your sex life, unless you are wishing for the three of you to do it together!! in my opinion you should kick her a** out and find someone who will be faithful. Good luck!!
2006-07-12 07:17:17 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, they call that an "open marriage"...if it works for y'all, then go for it...but I would discuss with the wife first, before you start anything...she may not feel the same as you about having an affair. Just make sure, she doesn't stray away from you and the "marriage"...
Why is she having an affair? Is she seeking something you're not giving her?
2006-07-12 06:24:25 · answer #9 · answered by jonny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly you are such a good man. and really i think that if your wife is still having this affair she is being really selfish towards you. its just not right. you listen , you understand, you deal with it, you still love her, and yet you are faithful, so why do you have to stay aside and put up with it?
but yet i do admire that she was honest with you. but again why does she have to still have this affair?? arent you good enough for her? or isshe taking advantage of you that youre ok with it? cause its really not ok. i just hope that she stops te affair and realize that she has everything already from you.
good luck
2006-07-12 06:26:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are trippin, the thought of another guy plunging my old lady infuriates me, i wanna kick his *** for you. I guess thats great that its not causing you a problem, but i couldnt and wouldnt deal with it, she would have an ultimatum. I dont need her and she doesnt deserve me if she has to go that direction. Maybe you two should look into swinging?
2006-07-12 06:21:37 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋