Marriage has none of the commitment it used to have. Divorces are easy and often. Why get married? Is it "proof that someone loves you? Is it to "trap" someone into staying with you? Is it to gain their money or other wealth? True answers please.
I think marriage is overrated. I don't need a peice of paper to proove my commitment to someone. A relationship takes work and understanding. Do the words "to death do us part" actually mean anything? (I pose this qustion from a nonreligious standpoint. I don't mean to offend you if it is sacred to you)
2006-07-12 06:15:50 · 49 answers · asked by elliott 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Krish, your answer confuses me the most, can you elaborate?
Luvracing, see my opther question for your answer.
everyone else thanks for your answers. I have seen that almost everyone takes a different view. I liked reading all of them all of them, from contracts to something sacred and from fear of loneliness to money. I'm not going to leave out a soulmate. Kati, I like your answer the best :
"So many people use marriage as the new dating and have no idea what it means to honestly be committed to one person. I guess marriage is really what you want it to be. My husband & I wanted our marriage to be about we are together "for better or worse and in sickness and in health forsakening all others to death do us part"
Like so many have said, when you find the "rigtht one" you will feel it. This posses a new qustion. I will ask this one as well. If any of you are interested It will be posted (How do You know when you are ready to find the "right one"?) C y'll soon.
2006-07-13 08:01:14 · update #1
Wow, great question. Several years ago I got married because I was pregnant and trying to do the "right thing". Then I found out the right thing for me was to get a divorce ASAP. I felt like marriage was a joke, even as a teenager. Marriage has never stopped a cheating spouse or a violent partner...so what was the point?
My ideas changed greatly about three years ago. I met a wonderful man I fell in love with, but marriage never even entered my mind. Then he proposed to me. My dumb butt answer was "it wasn't on my to do list". Harsh, I know but it was true. Then I started to rethink the idea of marriage. It wasn't about looking good to the church or family & friends. It wasn't about financial security. It was suddenly about wanting to spend the rest of my life with this incredable person.
So many people use marriage as the new dating and have no idea what it means to honestly be committed to one person. I guess marriage is really what you want it to be. My husband & I wanted our marriage to be about we are together "for better or worse and in sickness and in health forsakening all others to death do us part"
2006-07-12 07:02:53 · answer #1 · answered by Kati 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is a contract. It shows you are committed just like any other partnership agreement. It is not as easy to walk away from a marriage as it is living with someone. There are financial benefits such as insurance, but there are also financial pitfalls. Financially I would have been better off being single. I had more money as a single parent, and I wasn't getting any help from the government. I raised my daughter with no financial help from anyone!!
I will be married one year Sunday, and I wish I had never done it, but since I did, I am committed to it. I'm not walking away. Even though I am not emotionally, financially, or physically satisfied. I made a decision, and I will pay the price. The only benefit is I send him over 2000 miles away to work, and I can then have my peace.
I was stupid. Don't make the same mistake!!
2006-07-12 06:32:02 · answer #2 · answered by Forget-n-forgive forget it!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Till death do us part" does still mean something to some people. It can still have the commitment it used to have. My parents have been married 56 years. I married at the age of 19 and still have the same husband 24 years later.
Has it all been fun? Nope. easy? Nope. Has there been a lot of give and take/compromise on both sides along the way? Yep. However, neither of us has been willing to give in to the "mate of the day" that does seem popular and, as you stated, easy.
We got lucky. We each married a friend. The conversation and the company are good even when the sex or finances or current situation may not be, and we hope the conversation and company are still good when sex may no longer be an option.
Yes, we fight. Yes, we have differences of opinion. Every one does with their friends, don't they? They just don't seem to trade in friends as often as they do mates or partners.
Yeah..."till death do us part" is easier when you've married a friend whose company and conversation mean something to you, and you're not just looking for $$, sex, or proof of commitment. Don't sell out marriage yet. Hang in there!! :)
2006-07-12 06:32:02 · answer #3 · answered by GoElvis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a commitment made to your soulmate. It is not something you should do if you don't feel that type of a connection with someone. It is a lot easier to break up with a gf or bf when times get rough. When you have a forever type of commitment it gives you time to think about what you are doing. It is a way of letting that someone special know that I will be there to hold you during all the hard times and to laugh with you during all the good times for the rest of your life I want to be your best friend and partner.
2006-07-12 06:23:35 · answer #4 · answered by Suesan W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is very importent because some people may use you but not everyones like that. some people really truely love you and want to be with you for the rest of there lifes. It is also good if you want to have kids. there is at lest 1 person out there for everyone. Its nice to know that some1 cares about u and wants to be with u. Its not a trap to get married and the piece of paper means something. You can have a relashionship 4 years its a lot of work if u want to get married you have to want for the perfect time if you dont your going to have a big problem. If you feel the marriage means nothing then dont get married but belive me you will be missing out on alot.
2006-07-12 06:32:29 · answer #5 · answered by Kitty Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a good question there-marriage without real commitment it is a trap for sure-A marriage should last through all the rough spots as well as the good times! I understand how you feel-been there and done that! I actually believe a true marriage should be a forever thing-there are way too many divorces!
2006-07-12 06:23:34 · answer #6 · answered by wancarol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well , I am marriedd .. I think divorce is to easy also .. the % rate of divorce is on the raise .. People think ( well it is not working ) so I want a divorce . marriage is very hard work .. you have to love some one from the pit of your stomach ... that's when you know to marrie . my husband and I have been together for 17 teens years and married 5 years .I love him more and more every day . The day you find that some one ,who makes you feel like you have butterfly's in your stomach , just by knowing that you are going to see that person or even talk on the phone to ,you will know what I mean about loving some one so much you want to sign that paper saying till death do us part .. marriage is become just a piece of paper to allot of people . back when ..divorced people were looked down on . now days it's (oh who cares ) some people get married just for the party .. or just to say ya I was married ..
2006-07-12 06:44:51 · answer #7 · answered by blueflowerscs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage and what it means has not changed. People and their ability/willingness to honor the vows they make have changed. Any relationship takes work. We live in a society where everyone wants it their way, and when things don't go their way, they walk. Life is not Burger King. You can't always have things your way.
Marriage is not always easy and it won't always be 50/50 all the time. Whoever said it was lied. Sometimes you have to give more than what you get back, but that doesn't mean you give up. I feel if you truly love someone, you'll be willing to put it all on the line and commit to them and they, to you.
When my husband asked to to marry him, it meant the world to me. It means out of every woman in his life, he choose me, and I him. He's not just a date or a boyfriend. He is my husband. He is a part of me and I am a part of him. We complete each other in a way I can't even begin to describe. I respect him more as my husband than I ever did as my boyfriend.
2006-07-12 06:37:59 · answer #8 · answered by Quartro Ninos 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the ultimate commitment you can make to another person.. to pledge until death you do part your loyalty, love, life and body... it truly is more than a piece of paper... but it isn't something to do lightly... it is a major life decision and changes the dynamics of everything.... but it can the best thing you have ever done if you take the time to find the person you were meant to be with... it is the best feeling in the world to know that for the rest of your life you will wake up beside your soulmate.
2006-07-12 06:24:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married because I was scared of being alone the rest of my life. Do not get me wrong, I love my husband very much, but if I had to do it over again, I think I would just be in a relationship and date. Marriage is not all that it is cracked up to be. Sometimes that paper can make matters worse. I have been married 8 months and already thinking divorce.
2006-07-12 06:19:40 · answer #10 · answered by Lizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋