I still love my wife even though we are separated?

Question

she is now dating someone new. How do you handle that when you want her to come back to you and don't want a divorce.

I guess part of the problem was I didn't get along with her children from a previous marriage. Then she got involved with some stuff on the internet & cybering. She started smoking, quit church etc. Now she moved to a different state and is dating someone. I have made it clear to her that I would take her back, no questions asked. My son and I love her so much & want her back in our lives. It will be her 4th divorce. Her three marriages prior to ours lasted a combined 2 1/2yrs. Ours was 12. She seems to be a person who needs to start over when she gets bored. I don't know. All I know is she's is dating already and I cannot deal with that. I made a vow to her when I asked her to marry me and in front of God that I would love her till death do us part and I cannot even imagine being with anyone else. Since the day we met I have never thought of anyone but her, so its hard for me knowing she is dating someone else and romantic with him.

Unfortunately, she left 4 months after we bought a home in a new state. She moved back to where we had lived which is about 9hrs away. So I have no family or friends here. It is just our son and me and there is no chance of us moving back because of my job.

Answer 1

Sorry to hear about this situation. Consider what you see in her is a pattern of behavior that is not really conducive to a committed relationship. She has already run off and left you - actions speak louder than words and sometimes it's hard to realize how bad things are. If you both had some individual therapy to discover what you really want in life, that could help. Your values don't seem to match hers (as far as commitment & integrity). Personally, I don't get a sense that she is ever going to be trustworthy again. Maybe you could find a way to move on with your life and after counseling - end up with someone that you can trust.

Answer 2

Are you dating someone? There isn't a systematic way of handling the dating situation. If it bothers you, then you have to talk to her. Remember this, if you two get back together, it will be in the past. Now, if the ex-guy tries to jump in the picture, then there is a situation.

If you really do love her, try to resolve the issues that are keeping you two separated. Take some time to evaluate the situation. If there's something you can do to change yourself, and it will benefit the marriage, then work on that. The most dangerous thing to a marriage is self.

I hope it works out for you.

Answer 3

Depending on the reasoning for the separation, call HER for a date.

You should know what places she likes to eat or pick a fancy one yourself. Start over......at dinner ask her her interests, what she does for a living, ask about her family...things you would ask on a first date. Pick her up at her place, bring her back home walking her to her door but don't kiss her. Be a gentleman.....send her flowers at work.......But remember, you can't send her flowers at work if you don't ask where she works;)

Seriously....I am pretty good with these types of things. I have friends come to me a lot with what to do's. If you want specific help to your to your situation, email me at [e-mail].
Write in the subject: I love my wife.
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I wrote the above before you added to your question. I understand your devotion and an obvious Christian or Catholic with the beliefs you explained. Have you tried to contact her? I'm curious as to what exactly she is doing especially in
another state. I'm not thrilled to hear she left your son behind. This sounds like a repeated behavior on her part. Do you know details of her past divorces? It may be possible to piece something together that way.

For starters, I don't believe in hiding my children from the truth. I don't believe in telling my children TOO much depending on their age. Your child may have questions and need to talk about them. Be sure to listen. Your child is the main focus.

I would contact your wife after your son has gone to bed. He does not need to hear your conversation. Ask your wife to meet with you. Possible a kids place at a 1/2 way point, where your son can run around and have fun while you two are able to talk. If she isn't cooperative and is unwilling to have conversation about it. You need to ask what she wants. If she really does not want to come home her mind is made up. The last thing you want to do if push your wife into a situation she doesn't care to be in anymore. Like I said, your child is priority. Your wife is an adult and will have to live with the consequences of her actions.

Answer 4

Unless it's what you both want, there is nothing you can do but allow your heart to heal and move on. Talk to her about possible reconciliation, but be prepared that she may not desire that...there's a reason(s) you two are separated and she may not choose to walk that path with you again.

Hopefully even if you do not reconcile romantically, you can remain friends and part of each other's lives. Good luck!

Answer 5

Well, you will always love her and in time you won't hurt so bad.You really need to try to move on.I know that is hard.Hang out with friends.They will make you feel better.This is going to hurt for a long time.the best way to deal with this is to not talk to her no matter how bad you want to.Let her know that you love her and you want her back but leave it at that.Maybe when you feel like you need to talk to her,Write what you are thinking down on paper.That might help.If you talk to her it will only hurt more.

Answer 6

it is a fact that most of us realise when it is too late. inhibit patience and attitude to listen, care and express to your companion politely.

you cannot force anybody to love you.

now that you are separated, does not stop you from loving her. love her as you do, take care and make sure you be there when she is really in need, do not force yourself on to her.

protect her from her mistakes, in short make her realise the change in you and for gods sake forget the ego. even if you are right or wrong. the idea is she will be blind folded and cannot understand. you can convince her only when she is open or ready to accept you.

Answer 7

Have you tried to talk to her? Ask her to go to marriage counseling. It is real hard to answer your question when I do not know why you two split up in the first place. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Talk to her about the situation. And find out where you stand with her. Did you both agree during your separation to date others?

Answer 9

if its not meant 2 be then its not going 2 happen.u need 2 let go so that you can become happy n meet someone that is right 4 u.

Answer 10

try to develop trust within her.