im in a relationship with a guy that ive been with over a year now. it seems like in summers, instead of spending some time with me, he's out with his friends, going to pool, and blah blah. he calls me when he gets home, at around 12 AM.
i know this guy loves me, he has shown me that in many ways, but i have 2 weeks left here and im off to a different country for a month. i honestly feel sorta isolated and frusterated.
what do i do?
2006-07-12 06:05:29 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, guys and girls have slightly different ideas about closeness and love. He probably figures he's doing the right thing, calling you every day and talking and such.
He also may be trying to get used to the idea of not having you around, and seeing what it will be like to go for an easy transition.
Also, while a guy's girlfriend should be enormously imporant to him, it would be unhealthy for him to not have at least a few other friends, some of whom may also be going out of his life for a while, and he does need to catch up with them, and maintain contact. Otherwise, he'll end up being a lonely shut in with no real friends, and nothing to do but answer yahoo questions all day, like me :(
Another option is the possibility that he doesn't want to deal with a long distance relationship, and is looking for other options... but if he's still conscientious of you enough to call every day, this seems unlikely.
Sounds to me like there's a sad problem of you not quite fitting in with all of his circles of friends. He may need to make some decisions here about which is more important, or whether he can take you along. None of this would be such an issue if you could go to the beach, and hang out with his friends... Or maybe it's just a matter of timing.
Unless you have some serious hang up about the beach, or his friends, I would suggest offering to come over and hang out with them. While some friends are not very compatible with others, I've generally found that it's a lot of fun to introduce your girlfriend to your friends... of course, for me, it would be a lot of fun to have any kind of friends.
Hopefully, you've discovered by now that the cornerstone to any relationship is good communication. That he's calling regularly is a very good sign in this regard, but perhaps there's some things he needs you to tell him. After all, guys can get pretty good at knowing what a lady wants, but we're far from psychic, and if things are going OK for us, there's not a lot of reason to change what we're doing. Tell him you miss him. Tell him you want to spend more time with him. Talk about his hot bod, and he'll usually come over pretty quick.
2006-07-16 09:21:32 · answer #1 · answered by ye_river_xiv 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel and hopefully he'll be able to find a balance in his time with you and with his friends. It's quite healthy for the both of you to be hanging out with other friends. Have you hung out with your other friends lately? It would be a good idea.
Since you are going away in two weeks, ask him if the two of you could spend some special time together. If he truly loves you, he'll be sensitive to your feelings, so tell him how you feel. Communication is very important, no matter what you have to say. Tell him that you feel isolated and frustrated.
2006-07-12 13:16:48 · answer #2 · answered by bachlava_9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he loves you but the truth is he doesn't love you in the same way you love him. If he was really in love with you he would be spending his time with you and not other people. You need to open your eyes and see that this is a lot bigger sign of his true feelings than what you want to admit.
2006-07-12 13:10:42 · answer #3 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loved you, then he would be with you and not his friends. Sorry to say.
2006-07-12 13:10:45 · answer #4 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ITS ALL ABOUT COMMUNICATION ...
tell him about it .... you'll know if he's serious about changing or ready to be disguarded
2006-07-12 13:13:52 · answer #5 · answered by Brian D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋