We have been married for ten years, I am a stay at home mom with a special needs son who needs me to be there for him. My husband and I no longer share a bedroom, he supports us and we have a good life. Do I stay for the kids and because life is not bad or do I try and find the love and intimacy I need. He is ok with being polyamorous and adding another man in my life even and does not want me to go but finding a good man willing to accept that is very difficult. I am tired of sleeping alone every night and not having someone to hold me and tell me they love me ....what would you do?
2006-07-12 05:55:04 · 15 answers · asked by Victoria K 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's ok with it...instead of trying to improve your marriage between the two of you? I think it's time to go to counseling before you both make a mistake you'll regret. If your marriage cannot be improved to the point where you are both happy, consider you have one life to live and you should really be happy if you're in a marriage.
2006-07-12 06:33:21 · answer #1 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am recently separated after 12yrs. My wife and I have been off and on in separate bedrooms for three years before she moved out and left me and my son. She broke both of our hearts. I still love her deeply and want her to return. She left because she was unhappy, not because of money. It is a difficult question. I believe intimacy and passion is extremely important because it brings emotional security. When we made, it drove away all insecurities and problems and always made me feel closer to her. There is a difference between sex and making love, unfortunately to her we had sex. You can always find a legal way to make money and get by, but true love is hard to find. I had it. It just wish my wife felt the same way. I am not sure if this answers your question but it might help you decide which is more important. I'd take love over money any day.
2006-07-12 06:32:48 · answer #2 · answered by scheib65 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all of it is important. But you left out something, Honesty. you need all of it for a marriage. I'm not married but in a long term relationship. we've been together for 6 years and have one daughter and another baby on the way. I feel he's not being honest with me and it's driving me nuts. i cry all day and I can't sleep at night. We sleep together and I know he will be there when I need him,but I need him to be honest with me. I gave him a chance last night but he didn't do it. I know he is lying but I can't let him know because I snooped a little. talk to your husband and try and work it out. Is there a way you can get a family member to watch your kid so you two can have some alone time? go away for the weekend or just for the night. You need this more than anything. I wish you the best of luck and I pray you can work through this.
2006-07-12 06:07:53 · answer #3 · answered by jess_brenda_04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our closets primate relatives, the Bonobo Chimpanzee, are extremely intimate. They spend hours petting, grooming and hugging each other. We are not very much different from them. Our advanced civilization and sometimes repressive religious practices tends to disregard, ignore or out right ban these important necessities of humanity. Yet we must have them in order to feel balanced, psychologically fit and emotionally sound. As humans evolved they created the institution of marriage. That institution may have also brought about the decline of physical intimacy. Since the excuse is, "we're married, why do we have to touch, kiss and hug anymore." We are still like our primate relatives, and they seem to engage in intimacy much more than us. It is a tragedy, since if we are to survive we must remember that intimacy is how we got here. And how we will get to the future.
2016-03-15 23:04:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All are important in a relationship and if one thing goes, a relationship tends to go downhill. Having a special need kid takes a lot out of a parent and so I can see where your intimacy issues have come about. But they can be remedied - go to your husbands room in a nice, new nightie, and try to renew that passion!
2006-07-12 06:10:17 · answer #5 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Intimacy is an important factor. You can not be one with your spouse without being intimate...not only physically, but mentally and spiritually. You should not stay if you are not completely happy with your marriage...def not for the kids. If no progress can be made then you will be where you are 10 more years from now.
2006-07-12 06:00:51 · answer #6 · answered by Lovinlife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, You have to do what is best for you and the kids. If you are not happy then your kids are not happy. Your husband no longer loves you thats for sure. Dont stay for all the wrong reasons. Go find you someone that you can love and they can love you back. You deserve better than this, hell everyone does. You may not think it now but I bet in a few years if you leave your life will be better than you ever thought it would be. trust me, I have been there am I have to great kids. I am here to tell you if your not happy then get out and make your self happy. It will be hard for the kid at first but the kid/kids will adjust. They always do. Good luck in what ever you do.
2006-07-12 06:06:58 · answer #7 · answered by bigdog_0032 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what I would do is stay in your current situation until you fall
in love with a man who will accept you and your child and has the money to back up what he wants. If you left now you'd never
be able to meet a man because you'd be working 2 jobs and
broke. So since your husband will let you, find a new man.
But you might be surprised that once you try this he might
change his mind, so be prepared.
2006-07-12 06:07:41 · answer #8 · answered by Careerguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first thing u have to ask yourself is can you live without the passion. at one point and time it's what attracted u to him in the beginning. Having a special needs child does make it hard to make that decision, but if the kid was healthy would your decision be to stay. people stay in marriges for the kids and that is wrong because in the end the child grows up seeing all that resentment that the parents go through and put the kids through. a healthy relationship need all of these things including respect once that is gone what's the point!
2006-07-12 06:09:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was with a guy for over 4 years, never cheated, then 1 day I met this guy & I was bowled over. I left the safe, stable, secure guy for the wild, crazy, passionate one. Even though the 2nd guy & I have our trouble, I don't regret my decision. There was obviously something missing in my relationship for me to be able to cut ties after 4years. He's either the man you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with, or he's not. "So many things in life are mediocre, love shouldn't be one of them." Good luck to you.
2006-07-12 06:39:29 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋