I recently found a pair of Nike basketball shoes hidden beneath a pile of clothes in my husband's drawer cabinet. This is not the first time I found things hidden beneath or in between his clothes and always, they're very expensive shoes, clothes, etc. When I asked him about it, he said they were "gifts". Who gives Nike shoes, reebok, adidas, and1 and Levi's shirts as "gifts"? I think he's spending family funds on these things and lying to me. But what does it mean if he hides them? Why is he hiding these things from me? It pisses me off because he wears branded clothes and I have to make do with hand-me-downs or the local store goods, so do my kids. Please help...
2006-07-12 05:48:40 · 24 answers · asked by Equinox 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks all.... I think you're all correct. Maybe I should just put these things on sale when he's not home to teach him a lesson because my kids are getting deprived of good sturdy clothes and shoes. God bless you all.
2006-07-12 05:55:13 · update #1
By the way, I found around $5,000+/- hidden in a black pouch underneath the bed mattress a few years back and he kept it from me as well. What else has he hidden from me? I can think of several things but this one was the clincher... the $ I mean.
2006-07-12 05:59:33 · update #2
This doesn't smell good. To me that's cheating. He's putting himself and his wants (not needs) ahead of you and the kids. Why? Probably doesn't feel good about himself and tries to feel good by "having" stuff. The feeling he gets is temporary and never works for long. You need to jar him into getting help or a change in behavior. Talk therapy may help if he'll go. Please do as a character in a Shakespeare play said, "Screw your courage to the sticking point and we'll not fail."
2006-07-12 05:59:13 · answer #1 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In a perfect world, or even a perfect relationship you wouldn't hide anything from your spouse, but let's face it, it is not a perfect world. Personally I try to be as open and honest as I can in a relationship, and hope that my partner would do the same. If your spouse is holding this info from you, there is probably more info as well that you don't know. Good luck!
2016-03-27 02:34:56 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The one thing that is disturbing is your having found a large sum of money stuffed under the mattress - in cash. Is he involved in illegal activities? That, combined with all the items he's hoarding, I hope he's not stealing from work or someone he knows that works in a clothing store. Think about all his buddies and how he might be getting this stuff or have access to keys of businesses. It may not be a girlfriend - but illegal activities instead. Keep looking around the house or vehicle for more hidden things and then have a conversation with him.
2006-07-12 07:01:48 · answer #3 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hiding them sounds like the actions of a person receiving gifts from another person.
But if you don't want to believe that, then yes, he's dipping into the family funds and you should monitor it more closely.
Probably should stop stooping as well. Seek and ye shall find. Once you find, what do you do with the information? If you are not going to act on it or change anything, what was the purpose of snooping?
2006-07-12 05:55:56 · answer #4 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry - but it sounds like these gifts are from another woman. Been there done that girlfriend. All of a sudden my ex ( who shopped once a year and hated it then ) started appearing with new shirts etc. His excuse was that he just felt like going to the mall and came across a good sale.
2006-07-12 05:52:21 · answer #5 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he is spending family funds on himself...........I used to do this ALL THE TIME....I amassed the biggest clothing collection....I had over 250 pairs of shoes/boots.....I was a mini Emelda Marcos! And I HID stuff under the bed, anywhere I could.......my husband knew I had a lot of stuff, but didn't realize how much I was buying.....
2006-07-12 05:52:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think that the two of you need to have a talk. You should let him know that you've found the things that he appears to be hiding from you, and that you just want to know the truth. Also let him know that telling you the truth will not lead you to judging him, but you have to know where the things really came from, because if the two of him don't have trust, then you don't have anything.
2006-07-12 06:03:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hides them because he knows you wouldn't approve of him buying them. It's immature. They weren't gifts...that's a lie. Maybe make a deal with him. Once a month a certain family member gets to pick out a treat, whether it be shoes or a pair of name brand jeans. Everyone likes nice stuff...just keep it fair...he can wait his turn.
2006-07-12 05:52:52 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably right about the spending, he needs to hide so he won't get in trouble. He probably plays some type of sport - needs to feel or look the same or in - as the other players without ridicule from his team mates.
2006-07-12 05:57:27 · answer #9 · answered by Leila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're just and over-bearing witch of a wife that never thinks about her husbands needs. Does he work? Does he bring at least part of the money in? Maybe he just needs a little reward for his efforts rather than a wife railing on him because he treated himself. Get over it.
2006-07-12 05:54:00 · answer #10 · answered by Spud55 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋