My husband and I are seperated right now ( about 1 week) to work out or problems, but tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. He wants to come over to talk and maybe dinner. Could this ruin our seperation and the goals we a trying to reach by being apart??? Serious answers please... Should I just let him come over and talk and eat dinner or should I tell him we can talk on the phone like we have been doing???
2006-07-12 05:35:47 · 31 answers · asked by ERICKSMAMA 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it is what you are most comfortable with. A seperation is generally a time to work out your problems with each other and yourself, but it does not mean you cannot see each other.
It might be good to go out because it is an important date for the two of you and possibly could be good for bonding. I would try to make it more like a date where you do not talk about your problems, but rather, just enjoy each other's company.
It might not be a good idea to have sex unless you really want to because he might get the idea that he can call you to go out, and then later make love to you. It would probably just be best to go out as friends and relearn why you fell in love with each other in the first place.
Enjoy your day and I hope this one is just one of many many more to come. Good luck, peace and love
2006-07-12 05:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by Raistliin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I guess if you have been missing him, it's a sign that the problem is better solved when together rather than staying apart and thinking that will solve the problem. People often mistake separation as a solution to marital crisis. I think the best answer is to talk things out without being judgmental. You should both agree that you won't blame each other before seeing, and also be ready to adjust for each other where necessary. Remember marriage is a union of two different people from different background, with different opinion trying to see the world the same way. It just does not become perfect within a short time. What you are going thru now is the disappointments that come in every early marriage.
2006-07-12 12:45:18 · answer #2 · answered by Oneal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there are reasons that you are going through this seperation and as long as you keep them in mind during this dinner then you should be okay. but as women we have a soft spot in our hearts for the people we love and you can easily forget what it was you were mad about and it may as you put it ruin the goals set in the seperation.
By the way, i am going through the same thing so i know what you are feeling.
2006-07-12 12:43:48 · answer #3 · answered by living this life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one....because you don't want to totally dismiss your anniversary...but then again you are seperated. I don't know, I guess if it were me...I would have him over and do dinner, with the agreement that we were NOT going to fight...just enjoy yourselves....just make sure that you make it clear that this doesn't mean that everything is hunky dory again.....you still have a lot to work out apparently. Do you think you can hold down your end of the bargain by not fighting? Do you think he can? Because if you honestly believe that it's just going to end in one big disaster then it's not worth it at all.
I wish the best of luck to you!
2006-07-12 12:42:22 · answer #4 · answered by Blue_Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sticky situation. Honestly there isn't enough details to provide a coherant reply but based on whats here i would say see him tomorrow, promise him nothing and what ever you do don't get intimate tomorrow. Anniversaries tend to make people forget what issues there is in a relationship. Honestly play things by ear, if you start getting really anxious and feel its wrong to see him don't go, and if things start going south when your with him just ask him to leave. I would also suggest stay away from private places, keep it public as much as possible. that way you keep out of trouble. Good luck ps. just listen to your heart, and it will lead you to the right decision.
2006-07-12 12:46:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the guy a break, let him eat some dinner with ya... besides it's an anniversary. Also it helps to talk face to face rather than on a phone.
2006-07-12 12:39:03 · answer #6 · answered by warlord46750 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not give it more time - a week is not enough time to get your thoughts together, nor is it enough time for your spouse.
I would delay celebrating your 2 year anniversary until you both have had some substantial time apart. I can see how dinner and conversation might impede your separation goals.
2006-07-12 13:13:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is KEY! Behavior changes how you feel about something, so if what you really want is to be with him, act accordingly. Live life like you were not seperated. People spend years "trying" this or that. Follow Nike and if you want something Just DO It. This in not a decision to be made lightly, but if it's over, let it be over, if it isn't, then live like it will be forever.
2006-07-12 12:42:15 · answer #8 · answered by Yote' 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 years and all ready seperated thats sad.
Being he is your husband I would let him come over I dont know how you can "work things out" over the phone unless you are still in high school.
2006-07-12 12:40:17 · answer #9 · answered by Lilly K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking this question with the comment that "could this ruin our seperation" it sounds like deep inside you have already made up your mind.
You can't ruin a seperation.
I think your heart has already said no to him, now you must find the courage to find the words that convey the same message.
2006-07-12 12:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋