Me and my EX get along great sometimes and other times I can't stand him..We got together since I was 14 ..I'm 23 now and we have to kids...Could we ever just be friends ? He told me that i was his bestfriend and that he still loves me..But he has a girlfriend..Now i'm kinda confuse..Should I just talk to him about the kids and nothing else ??Help!!
2006-07-12 05:08:10 · 21 answers · asked by ?Whiskey Girl? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My ex and I have 2 kids together and we are very close friends - we have been separated/divorced for 9 years and have never had any type of sexual contact since the break-up, which is a mistake I think most people make. We didn't work as a couple, but are great as co-parents and friends. In fact, I just got remarried last week and other than our 2 daughters, my ex and his girlfriend were the only ones there. Kind of a weird relationship, but it works for us!
So, yes, I think that it is possible, but highly unlikely!
2006-07-12 06:25:43 · answer #1 · answered by thersa33 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately I've found the whole keeping your ex as friend thing just doesn't work. You can see this already by the fact that he is telling you he loves you even though he is with another girl. Not only are you confused now and it disrupts your life and ability to move forward, it shows disrespect by him for the relationship he currently has. I think you need to just talk to him about the kids and nothing else so that you both can focus on your own lives. If you don't ultimately things like jealousy and hurt feelings will come creeping into your relationship and lives and you don't need that, especially from an ex. Just imagine you meet the perfect guy and get serious with him, and your ex gets jealous and starts complaining because your his best friend and he needs you, etc...you see where that is headed don't you.
2006-07-12 05:15:27 · answer #2 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you're reading from my journal. lol I am in pretty much the EXACT situation minus the kids part. Before my ex and I broke up we promised eachother that no matter what happened, we would stay best friends. He and I dated for two years then broke it off. We've been broken up for almost two and a half years and he's in another relationship. We do still talk pretty often and also see eachother now and then. I'm over him. I think that it would have been easier to get over him had we went our separate ways once we broke up.
I think that it is possible to stay friends with your ex, probably not best friends, especially if he is in another relationship but I guess it depends on you two and how much time/effort you put into the friendship. I would think that it is a good idea to maintain a friendship if you two have children together.
2006-07-12 05:21:20 · answer #3 · answered by Lynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well do you want to be friends first of all. If he has a girlfriend and says that he loves you that is kinda confusing. No girl talk to him about other things but make sure that the kids are included most of the time. And just make sure that he hangs out with the kids and helps support them. Hope this help
2006-07-12 05:19:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I filed for divorce from my now ex-husband, I told him very plainly that just because our marriage didn't work, it didn't mean that we would stop being parents to our son. For the remainder of our natural lives we have that common bond, a child, that was conceived and born where there was once love. It has now been four years since our divorce and I'm engaged to a wonderful man who loves my son as his own. He fully understands my ex-husband's role in my child's life and respects that. My ex also has come to respect the fact that I've started a new chapter in my life and has not interfered in my new relationship. We talk almost daily over the phone, asking each other how our son has been for that day, whether he's with me or spending the weekend with his dad. Oddly enough, we communicate better now than when we were together. I guess by me drawing the boundaries very clearly from the beginning made a difference. I guess it's not that common for ex-spouses to get along but it can happen. Just make sure YOU draw the boundaries of your new lives and follow through with them. I'm sure he wouldn't want to cut off all lines of communication with you and your kids just to try to rekindle a flame. He needs to respect his girlfriend enough to move on past his left-over love for you and redirect his energy to her. Good luck!!!
2006-07-12 07:27:52 · answer #5 · answered by Susan P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't be friends with him until you decide he is only a friend and nothing more. Talk with him about the children and maintain a civil relationship. Being friendly is not the same as being friends. He is an ex for a reason isn't he. He will always have a place in his heart for u as the mother of his kids so let him out of your emotions and just let things be natural
2006-07-12 05:32:01 · answer #6 · answered by nylatinanurse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its best for the kids that you guys get along and be nice to each other. But its very hard to be friends with an ex. Specially if you still have feelings for each other.
2006-07-12 05:17:06 · answer #7 · answered by honey27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ideally no longer, feels too extraordinary & awkward understanding that you've been friends for a lengthy time period & then replacing the way you spot one yet another ... The definition of ruining a friendship, yeah. yet i'm no longer keeping this for all situations, often times even after falling on your perfect chum he ought to nevertheless be your perfect chum, in ordinary words large difference is you could kiss him x) yet for the most section, i'd not be drawn to courting a chum. This element is really taking position to me acceptable this second! I purely met my strong guy chum the day in the previous in the present day after months and that i hate how he became checking me out, I knew what became happening ... on the accurate of the day he requested if i became unmarried, no longer contained in the sense of ways i'm doing extra like him being fascinated ... i trust like an complete different individual as if we ought to by no potential been friends ugh :/ As for perfect chum's ex ... properly this befell to me once :/ It ended so undesirable, now what my bff and that i have yet another element in person-pleasant is an ex lol no longer fairly a delightful element easily.
2016-11-06 06:29:13 · answer #8 · answered by newnum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, just talk to him about the kids and nothing else.I can understand why you are confused.That would confuse anybody.So now you know why to not talk to him about anything but the kids...right.
2006-07-12 05:19:40 · answer #9 · answered by TinkerBell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to get along for the kids sake..but if you don't want to deal with him beyond that you don't have to. Remember this is about the kids and YOU.
2006-07-12 05:16:14 · answer #10 · answered by Mimi2Bossy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋