Does anyone know a mushroom joke that doesn't involve the punchline being something about a "fun guy"?

Answer 1

Mushrooms for my Basket
6/11/02

This guy went to the doctors and said: "Doctor, I'm having problems with my sex life!"

Doctor: "What do you mean?"

Guy: "Well, I'm just not getting any."

Doctor: "Look out the window then."

Guy: "Oh yeah, I see that convent. Good idea Doctor!"

Doctor: "Yes, but see that patch of mushrooms in front of it?"

The guy looks across and sees a beautiful young nun picking mushrooms.

The doctor then says, "Well, if you go place yourself underneath the
mushrooms with only your dick sticking out, you certainly won't regret
it."

The next morning, the guy is lying underneath the patch of mushrooms,
with his dick sticking out, as the doctor had said, and the most
beautiful young nun walks along with a basket.

She starts picking mushrooms, while singing a little song: "One little
mushroom for my basket, two little mushrooms for my basket, three little mushrooms for my basket, four..., four..., four..., four..."

The guy cannot believe it; he is enjoying this so much.
That night while down at the pub, he is telling his story to his mates
and one of them (who is very drunk) decides to go and try this out for
himself.

So, that night he goes down to the convent, and places himself
underneath the patch of mushrooms, and leaves his dick sticking out. In
the morning, the fattest, most repulsive and butch nun comes along with
her basket.

She starts to pick mushrooms, while singing the same song: "One little
mushroom for my basket, two little mushrooms for my basket, three little mushrooms for my basket, four..., four..., four..., FOUR little
mushrooms for my basket........

Five little mushrooms for my basket..."

Answer 2

So this monkey is getting stoned eating mushrooms in a tree and along comes this lizard and says " hey whatcha doin", Monkey says eating mushrooms and getting stoned. Lizard : "can i join u". "Sure says the monkey and up the lizard goes and eats a herd of mushrooms. A while later the lizard says that he is thirsty so goes down the tree to the river. Unfortunately he is soooo stoned he falls in the river. But luckily, a crocodile is swimming past and rescues him and puts him on the bank and asks whats up. The lizard tells him about the monkey and the mushrooms so the croc goes off to find the monkey. He gets to the tree and shouts up to the monkey "Hey" and the monkey looks down and says " Jeez dude, how much water did you drink!!!"

Answer 3

Yeah, I used to live with a family of toadstools, but I had to move out as there wasn't mushroom!

Didn't laugh? Don't worry, not many people see the fungicide!!

Answer 4

not really a joke, but a quip, from the Spy Kids movie, some guy eats a lot of mushrooms and the girl says to him "You're full of Shiitake!" :-)

Answer 5

Why do mushrooms like moist climates? Because when it rains it spores.

Doesn't make sense but I just made that up.

Answer 6

Why didn't the mushroom go to church?


He wasn't morel.



Ba-dum! Chhhhhhhh!

I'll be here all week. Try the roast beef.

Answer 7

''I say, I say, I say - your dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!''
''How d'ya know it's full?''
''Cos there's not mushroom inside!''

This gem comes from 'My Old Man's a Dustman' - an old Lonnie Donegan song from the 60's - ask your mum or your Grandma - depending on how old you are!

Answer 8

Waiter, what soup would you like
Client, cluck,cluck cluck,
Waiter bring chicken soup,
Client i dont want chicken soup i want mushroom
Waiter why you make noise like chicken,
Client because i cant make noise like a mushroom !

Answer 9

I asked an Italian if he had room for one more in his car and he said "I don't have a much room" so I told him "That's OK, I don't like them anyway".

Answer 10

why did the mushroom cross the road? ..........to get to the other side.............i know...sorry!