How can I get my Mother in law to kick her 28 year old drug addict son out of her house? He takes advantage of everyone, and appreciates NOTHING. He won't stop what he is doing and it's killing her. Worst of all, she depends on us to help her financially, (ever since her husband left because of the son), even though we can't. I don't mind helping her because she helped us so much in the past. I just don't want to help because then I feel like we are enabling him just as she is. She should be asking him for money, not us. How do we get it through to her that it has been 4 years since he came back, and it won't change?
2006-07-12 04:29:12 · 4 answers · asked by MOMof2 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Will Alanon meetings help her? He was supposed to be in rehab but that lasted about a week!
Also, She is afraid that if she kicks him out, he will die somewhere. How can I make her see that she is letting him die right in front of her.
2006-07-12 04:40:28 · update #1
as a x adict let her know that she is an inabler
which is essentialy that she is hlping his drug habbit
if she dont get tough she is killing him
it
is to easy for him... he must be removed!!!
before it is to late
2006-07-12 04:36:51 · answer #1 · answered by ray s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would love to know the answer to this myself, I am in the same predicament but its my son who is abusing. I have enabled him for so long. I guess its the mothers love that continually aids him. I know I have grieved for so long and worried that he might be found dead on the side of the road some night or in his bed. Right now hes stranded in Arizona and professes to have no money or way home. Im scared to send him any more money because Im afraid he is using it either on gambling or drugs. So I just told him I am out of money. Yes, I worry, but it does come to a point that I and the woman you spoke of should stop enabling and let them live their own life. But of course we will continually worry. I have worried so much Ive had to start taking antidepressants and have been having chest pains because of my children and their ways. Its very hard to be a mother even after they have left home. I pray that you are able to give her guidance and help her realize it will never change. My son is facing 3 yrs. in prison if he screws up again from drug charges he got a year ago and he has already screwed up. He left the state and is now stranded and also has not contacted his probation officer and was supposed to have done that a week ago. So now I worry about him ending up in prison. Being a mother is much more than alot of people think, especially when you have children that choose to live their lives on the crooked road.
2006-07-12 04:41:09 · answer #2 · answered by Scarlett 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that in Texas you or your Mother in law can have him picked up by the Sherriff's Dept, as long as he has an address, which he obviously does, and have him put into a rehab with a court order that he stay. If he leaves, he faces jail time.
I believe it's called a " Mental Health Warrant". You have to go down and sign papers, and let them know what time he will be there, and they will pick him up.
We are going through the same thing with my brother in law. His Mom keeps letting him come back home, and he keeps being sent back to jail/prison for one reason or another.And somehow, he keeps getting released. We think it's his Mom that is doing whatever she is , in order to GET him out. I know she's going broke doing whatever she's doing.
It is affecting the whole family. But no one else will help contribute ( or ENABLE ).
You can be there for him with moral support, and that's about all.
If he's refusing help, call the Sheriff's Dept. and ask about the "Mental Health Warrant". It may be called something different where you live.
I know a Mom's maternal instinct kicks in when one of her children are in trouble. Somehow , you've got to get through to her the definition of "enabling" vs. "helping". By having him put somewhere to get the help he NEEDS, is helping him.
Good luck, and God bless you and your family !
2006-07-12 05:01:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her to go (or go with her) to an al-anon meeting
I really think that it could help both of you to understand addiction at least. You should really consider it. It has helped me.
www.al-anon.alateen.org
2006-07-12 04:34:53 · answer #4 · answered by cynthetiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋