How do you find a marriage counselor. Do they really help?

Answer 1

Only if both partners want it to.
Kind of like rehab

Answer 2

The suggestion to ask a priest, minister, rabbi, or other clergy person is a good one. Also, asking friends who've been successful through counseling (assuming you've got such trusting friendships, which many people don't) would be a good idea.

The answer to your second question is more complex and depends on a lot. First, both partners in the marriage have to want to tackle the problems. Second, somehow they've both got to be realistic about it: there is no perfect, completely peaceful, problem-free state in a marriage or in anything else, and we're pretty well conditioned to expect and desire exactly that fantasy state.

Third, and most importantly, remember that marriage counselors, like all psychologists and other practitioners of this or any other type, are in BUSINESS. They make money by having you stay in counseling. So there's a natural conflict of interest. There's no question that the vast, vast majority of them are in the business for the right reasons, and that they truly seek to help people and make a positive difference. But remember that it's a business, and their business interests are better served if you stay in counseling for a long, long time.

There might be faster, better, more permanent ways to handle your marital problems. There might not. So ultimately, just like in a marriage, you have to learn to balance a lot of competing forces.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I have been in personal therapy for about 12 yrs. and I can tell you from experience,SAVE YOUR MONEY AND READ A BOOK! Alls a counselor is there for is to "help" you in the right direction...all the actual work is done by you and your spouse. If it turns out to be finances is the whole reason you may argue and then guess what....they won't get better paying some individual $100 or more per hour to help you realize that MONEY is the reason for grievance.There are PLENTY of self-help books out there and if you and your spouse are that interested in repairing what ever damage has been accumulated,then doing the work on your own will strengthen your relationship way more than you could by paying some un-interested,book-taught shrink. Most shrinks out there are book-taught,they have no real idea what it is to experience the things they "think" they have to help you with. But if you are dead set on a marriage shrink then do your home work...MAKE SURE THEY ARE MARRIED AND HAVE NOT BEEN DIVORCED! If they have been through a marriage and more then common sense tells you...they obviously can't help you when they can't even mantain a marriage themselves. Have a great day and hug yourself tight.....Love will get better...Peace,Love,&Happiness to all!

Answer 4

I found a marriage counselor from the local health department. Since I have low income they referred me to a service who went by your income to determine your payment. I only paid like $10 a visit and they had qualified therapists. Yes, it did help. I was doing somethings I didn't realize that was hurting our marriage and so was my husband. Because of the counseling, we are still together and now know how to resolve things better to prevent more problems.

Answer 5

Yes if your really interested in working through your problems then yes counseling helps....look under marriage counselors in the phone book or look it up on the internet...

Answer 6

Counseling helps if both parties are committed to making it work.

When I went at his suggestion, the counselor told him that he had to stop seeing the other woman. He said okay. Two weeks later he was back at the other woman's house. And the therapist asked me how I felt and what I was going to do. I told her, I didn't need individual counseling, I was going to kick his behind to the curb, and go on with my life and I did. This year makes 6 years and I couldn't be happier.

Answer 7

Ask your friends or leaders in your preferred religion, or any group that you feel best represents your core beliefs in life. You're going to want a counselor that shares, or at least understands your values. It will make things a lot easier.

Best wishes

Answer 8

They help in terms of finding out what the REAL problem is...i.e., it isn't the socks left on the floor, its that your spouse sits and watches TV all night until bed. But the issue there is that even when the problems are isolated, you still have to go home and implement solutions. That can be the tough part.

Answer 9

Ask friends, your pastor if you have one, your family doctor, etc. for recommendations. That might help you decide. They work only if both partners are committed to the process. I had an excellent one - but she very frankly told us both after several sessions that the process was not working because he refused to follow any of her suggestions. She finally confronted my ex and asked if he wanted to save the marriage. ( obviously he didn't.) I continued to see her by myself to help with the emotional stress I was going through. They can be very supportive.

Answer 10

You can check with your insurance plan, they can refer you. Or look in the phone book, or ask around to get a verbal referral. Yes, they really do help you both see things in your marriage that you have overlooked, and they teach you ways to communicate what you want and need.

Answer 11

counselor do help I suppose better than none, but you can also go web site to check it out they provide quite good advice. Try it out or email me, I might be able to advise you one or two in private.