Help Please??

Question

I am trying to start a new life but it is hard to get rid of all of the old mess...how can I get rid of people who mean me no good.

Answer 1

I know how you feel. Sometimes it's hard to get away from those people. Not because you can't stay away from them, but because they keep coming to you. I used to be scared to tell people what i thought or how i felt for fear of hurting their feelings or causing bad feelings. Sometimes, just ignoring the person you want to leave you alone works. Don't answer phone calls, or go to places they've invited you to. Make a point to stay away from places that you know they like to go for a while so that you don't "run in" to them. if they try to come to your house, don't answer your door, or tell them that you don't have time to visit. Sooner or later, they get the hint. ..... sometimes.... other people aren't quite so perceptive and you just have to blatently tell them. It's not always a fun thing to do, but if these people are hindering you from starting a new life and only cause you problems, then you have to just gather your courage and say it. Tell them that due to changing circumstances, you don't feel that it would be helping you by keeping in contact, or getting together with them anymore. You can tell them your reasons for feeling this way if you want, but 9 times out of 10, they still won't understand. But that's not your problem. They don't have to understand why you're doing this, they just need to understand that from now on, they need to leave you alone. Most of the time, this will end the connection between you and that person, but some people are just suckers for punishment and will continue to try to get a hold of you. From that point, all you can do is ignore them. They'll get the picture eventually. This is all advice from personal experience. I've had to do this all before in order to make some changes in my life. I've found that most of the people that i've had to end connections with in the past usually don't try too hard to stay in contact with you. Mostly because the only reason why they were around you in the first place is because they were using you or something of yours for one reason or another to benifit themselves. Once they realize that you've cut them off (which usually doesn't take that long) they quickly move on to find someone else they can pilfer off of. Anyway, I hope everything works out for you. This is the best advice I have! Good luck!

Answer 2

Stick to your plan. Find some good strong friends to hang out with who will help you build up the courage to get rid of the older friends.

That way there won't be any rebounding back to the old lifestyle.


And be courageous. Sometimes it isn't easy to say good bye. but if you know they're holding you back... and you keep letting them.

You'll never get anywhere. and you'll always be held back.

Two words that you need to repeat to yourself "Let go."

and two other words you need to use.-- "No" and "Bye"


As hard as it may be you won't regret it in the long run. Just don't forget to get yourself those good friends to help you move on before you try to break free from the lifestyle.

Answer 3

hey if u want to get rid of people just tell them i want to get rid of u and the more u tell the people they well u can be starting a new life but trust me it will take about 1-2 months that u can do all of this.

Answer 4

Ok. Baby steps.
U need 2 understand, why u did such things in ur life and learn from them than u can move on.

If try 2 hide them or cover them up it makes matters worse 4 u.
U need 2 share with others people u trusted like friends but trusted me must be the oppsite sex coz than u get more help and getting advice from man, is good they tell u a side u never though of.
that all u do 4 now
good luck.

Answer 5

I would think if your path has changed then those in the past would not follow you...if so perhaps they too want a change for the better...do whats best for you and let the pieces fall where they may and if it turns out to be a healthier surrounding for you then fine if not...keep moving down that path until you reach a place that is...eventually those who don't belong within your circle will exclude themselves...good luck on your journey.

Answer 6

Tell them you no longer want them around. The hardest part of something new is the first step- get rid of the negative. Then, you can concentrate on the positive. Good luck!

Answer 7

If you want to rise above their mess you have to break ties with them all and find a new social circle. Keeping a friendship with even one of those negative people in your life will jeopardize you from becoming the better person you want to become.

think of it as standing on a chair and all the negativeness surrounds you. It is easier for them to pull you down off of the chair than for you to pull them up on the chair with you.

If there are places that you know they hang at, you have to stop going. don't except phone calls and cut casual conversations.

look for people who are doing things that you want to do. for example a person who has a career that you aspire for. People who have goals and standards in their lives. it is easier to become a better person when you surround yourself with good people who set good examples for you to follow. I hope this helps...

Answer 8

Alienate them. If you work with them get a different job or go to another department. Make new friends. Change your habits. Join singles club to meet people. Move away from wher you live. Chicago is nice.

Answer 9

Stop talking to them. Change your phone number. Change your e-mail address. Don't respond to their text messages and don't answer voicemail messages they leave. If you can - move.

It's hard to cut people off, but sometimes it really is necessary. Be strong. If these are people who really truly mean you no good, you have no obligation to be good to them. Just leave them alone to simmer in their own bad intentions.

Answer 10

avoid the people who "mean you no good" and gradually separate yourselves from them and your old life. Good luck with the new life - hop eeverything works out!