I separated from my husband some six months ago because of various problems. I'm now with a lovely man who is very kind and gentle, but the sex side of things is not so good. He seldom satisfies me. My husband, though, was great in bed and I do miss the physical relationship I had with him. I know my husband would like us to be together again, even though he now has another girlfriend. There will be an opportunity to see him in two weeks' time when we shall both be at a mutual friend's wedding reception.
The way I'm feeling now I don't think I will be able to refuse if he makes a move. We're both staying inthe same hotel overnight.
But I do feel guilty about my present boyfirend and how much it will hurt him.
2006-07-12 02:57:47 · 66 answers · asked by proelior 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you should both end it with your bf and gf and give it a go again. Sounds like you both have unresolved feelings toward one another. However, I am curious as to why you split in the first place? You should remember that an ex is an ex for a reason. Also, don't be afraid to be alone to sort things out. you should never play with anyone's else's feelings..be honest with your bf. It's only fair. Good luck
2006-07-12 03:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by beautifully broken 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't have your cake and eat it too. If the boyfriend doesn't do it for you in the sack, then go ahead and break up with him. Don't keep him around just because you want to be with someone. DO NOT get back with your ex. I know it's hard to say no when he makes sexual advances, but it's only going to make things worse and much more complicated. Don't give in to him. Go and have a great time at the reception and don't worry about him. Lots of people will tell you that the relationship with your new boyfriend will work and you shouldn't base the relationship on sex...they are full of it. If the sex isn't good, it's not going to last. Good luck
2006-07-12 03:02:25 · answer #2 · answered by carolinayaya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself a few questions...Why did you separate in the first place? Did you end it or your husband?Could you go back to living the same way if you knew things would be exactly the same as before you split up? Do you love your present partner differently? Are you just looking for good sex? Sex will fade eventually no matter who you're with. I believe it is better to focus on the type of relationship you have together, forget the sex side of things and think on that.
How would you feel if you knew your new partner was only in it for the sex, or that he wanted to get back with someone else because you were crap in bed.
I think that because you asked this question you have not found that someone special, either in your ex or your new partner.
Being with someone special involves more than just how good they are in bed.
2006-07-12 23:10:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are still married to your husband then you should consider trying to work things out with him mentally, sexually you seem fine. It takes time to get to know what makes others happy in bed, each of you have to feel comfortable, but if the truth is known it sounds like that may be an excuse to sleep with your husband again. Maybe there is more there than you can see because you are with someone else and keeping up with the feelings of two men can block the true feelings of one.
2006-07-12 03:07:43 · answer #4 · answered by jandlsmom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing, first of all, above anything else is honesty. It will be hard to get started, but if eveyone knows everything you are all feeling and know the situation, they will all be able to offer various advice. Obviously, it will be baised by their personal beliefs, such as your boyfriend wanting to stay with you, but it's most important to be honest with everyone, the problems will come if you keep secrets from your boyfriend and his girlfriend.
talk it out with your husband, just like the way you explained it here, tell everything that you are thinking, and compare it with how he feels. Imagine what you ultimately want; it may be similar to what he wants, but I don't hink it'll be idenical and chances are he has interesting things to say about the matter too. That will make it easier to make a good descision and not hurt anyone if you come to a rational descision.
2006-07-12 03:04:24 · answer #5 · answered by prasino_4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is not a reason to go back. If that is all you two have in common, it will never work...relationships based on how much or how little sex one gets never work for long. Think long & hard about why you two got divorced in the first palce...that should change your mind. Right now you are just thinking of the good stuff...remember the bad & you might be able to get past this.
2006-07-12 03:03:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound unfaithful all around. I'd suggest you leave the boyfriend before you cause him any unnecessary pain, divorce the ex and get a life. I mean, the only thing you're interested in your ex the is sex and you don't care about your current boyfriend because if you did, you wouldn't even be considering this. Same goes for your ex. Neither of you care who you hurt, so maybe you do belong together after all. That way you can hurt nobody but yourselves. You weren't even mature enough to marry to begin with.
2006-07-12 03:01:51 · answer #7 · answered by purpleama456 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just have sex w/ him. My ex wife and myself did that alot during the seperation/divorce process. Sex doesn't mean your getting back together, nor is it cheating...I mean that is your husband.
I say you have more invested in your marriage than some BF and vice versa, take a chance do it and see what happens next.
As for the boyfriend not satisfying you, I suggest you either flat out telling him what he is doing wrong(we don't take hints very well ;D ) or start looking for someone new. I know from a male perspective, when I was not sexually satisfied with my partner, I tended to stray.
2006-07-12 03:19:48 · answer #8 · answered by Pennywise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can refuse if he makes a move - your'e not helpless and you're responsible for your own feelings and those of other people who might be affected. I think you quite like the drama of the situation - stay at a different hotel and enjoy the wedding not all the cloak and dagger stuff. You might need to be kind to your current partner - that relationship doesn't appear to be going anywhere, so let him down gently. If people behaved with integrity, there'd be so much less sadness in the world. Good luck.
2006-07-12 03:06:27 · answer #9 · answered by Wendyberyl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make your mind up fast- if you left this guy in the first place, you must have had a damned good reason. If you sleep with him at this wedding do, you will be a whore. Is that what you want??Just because your current boyfriend is no good in the sack, cant you teach him the moves?? If not, get another boyfriend. Life doesnt work on going back to the past- only on moving into the future.especially when it means hurting somebody- how would you like it???
2006-07-12 13:29:24 · answer #10 · answered by k0005kat@btinternet.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋