i met a friend recently and he is so madly in love with me. yesterday he kissed me and touched me, but i did not feel anything. he stopped because he told me that i am stiff, i did not respond to his kisses. how can i tell him that i did not feel any spark? that i do not like him. and do not wish to see him again? without hurting his feelings.
2006-07-12 02:28:55 · 19 answers · asked by patric 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Stay semi-stiff, just as you are. That may solve it if you just do that for a few days. However, if it happens again, and it probably will, just tell him, "Whoa Cowboy"...with a chuckle and a smile. Then just tell him you are saving your kisses 'til true love comes along. Make it laughable.
All the drama (not high drama now...) and shifting of expressions will keep him entertained while he gets the message more softly. No need to be insulting of crushing. Kindness counts. No halting "I don't like you that way" at the start. Start light and build up to it. He may get the subtle message and save embarrassment for both of you.
Hang in there. It's nice to be approached whether it's the right guy or not. It's flattering. Any more insight about the guy at work?
2006-07-12 07:50:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
You are going to hurt him to some degree if he has feelings for you. Sorry, but nothing you can do about that. However, what you can do is start out by being honest. Tell him there was no spark or interest in him. Tell him you do not want him to ouch you in any sexual way, and that he need to keep his distance. Be polite among all things. Put yourself in his shoes. How would you want to be told this. Then you'll have your answers.
If for some reason you have found a VERY emotional person, be careful and do this in a place not so public. He will most likely make a sceen. There is also a chance that he may stalk you afterwards as well. Make sure he understands you. Don't give into him in any way. Good luck.
2006-07-12 10:08:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he keeps coming on to you when you show no interest says something about the consideration your friend has for you.
Kindly and firmly let it be known that you are not interested. There is no need for you to feel bad.
Let this be lesson for you. Let people know right off if you are not interested. No need for you to just take it. It is your body and your mind and you must be a good steward of them.
2006-07-12 10:13:21 · answer #3 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to soften the hurt of rejection, so just tell this guy how you feel in a direct manner.
2006-07-12 09:32:33 · answer #4 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fix him up with a friend of yours. :-)
Seriously, you can't completely avoid hurting him. The best thing that you can do is to be honest and tell him that you just don't feel that way about him.
2006-07-12 10:56:34 · answer #5 · answered by knightofsappho 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be direct, not hurtful, but honest and firm. Then, avoid him and don't respond to voice mails and e-mails. Some people take a while to accept no for an answer.
2006-07-12 10:17:36 · answer #6 · answered by Mark 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a calm voice and a gentle manner. He's going to be hurt - regardless (this is the way of unrequited love).
2006-07-12 09:33:59 · answer #7 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like the first response there's no way to soften the rejection. Your gonna have to tell him that you didn't feel any chemistry and your gonna have to be straight forward and tell him that you don't want to see him.
2006-07-12 16:35:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let this friend know that you think he is a really cool guy and a good friend, but you feel that all you guys can ever be is friends.
2006-07-12 09:35:32 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him the truth. Tell him that you love him as a friend but you don't want to be a sexual partner.
2006-07-12 10:37:07 · answer #10 · answered by Cymalon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋