I need a womans point of view here, as I cant see any reason in this...?

Question

I am married and have 2 kids, 10 & 7 months. My wife has not allowed me to go out with my mates for a couple of drinks for almost two months now... WE go out as a couple at least once a week and have done for years. If she wants to go out with her friends for an evening, I have no objections whatsoever, in fact I actively encourage this, and yet, when I ask, I am told that I can't go out... I do not come home late, and do not get abusive, so what other reason could there be for her refusing?? please let me know what reasons you could think of for her being this way ladies!?

Answer 1

It does sound irrational to me, I think you should make her explain herself, it is not fair to not allow you to go out without her. Perhaps explaining that you need to be able to go out with your mates and talk about blokey things would help. If she can't give you a good reason why you shouldn't go out without her, when you are happy for her to go out with her mates, then you should just go out and enjoy yourself. You don't want to be joined at the hip.

Answer 2

Well, I'm guessing that you've never cheated on her so that wouldn't be a reason. Maybe she doesn't have the friendship connections with people the way you do and she's jealous of that or something. I'm not sure what her reasoning is for this. Have you talked to her about this? Did you tell her how you feel about her not allowing you to go out iwth your friends? If what you're saying is true.. you don't stay out late.. it's not a habitual thing, and you're still taking care of the family mentally, physically and emotionally.. then I don't see why you can't have that personal release time every once in a while.

Answer 3

Ther are alot of reasons for her not to want you to go out with your friends even when you let her go out with hers thats not right though. First off, How are your friends? Does she like them are they bad influences? She may think if u hang with them that they will get you in some type of trouble. She may also have some issues with her self. You said she just had a baby 7 months ago maybe she is self conscience about her appearance and in her mind thinks you are not attracted to her anymore and she may think that you are going out with your friends to scope out other girls or to cheat on her. Have u given her any reason to think that? Or maybe she is just trying to be controlling. What ever the reason the thing that needs to be done is that you and your wife need to sit down and have a heart to heart. All of us here can give you are opinion to your question but we cant fix the problem. Only you can do that. Just ask her why she will not allow you to go out with your friends when she can.ask her if she would like you to control her going out with her friends. If she thinks you will cheat on her then ask her why she thinks you would. And reassure her that you wont.That you just want to hang with the guys a while. You dont get to see them that much.That you love her and your kids but just as her that you want a little private time too. Not having time for anything can bog you down. If this is her way of controlling what you do then this needs to be fixed right away or before you know it she will be controlling how you dress, what you eat
good luck to you

Answer 4

Some women get depressed after having a baby. It's a chemical thing. It's not something they can control. Usually with this type of depression it is very hard to notice. She herself might not know what is going on with herself. If that's not the case then maybe she feels she is on overload. Does she stay home with the children? That's a tuff job. Try getting the babysitter to watch the children while you and your wife go out separately with friends one night. She might go for that. Best of luck!

Answer 5

If she is able to go out with her friends then she is being abusive to u? Just because ur married doesnt mean that a person cannot have a life than just being ur husband or ur wife. Its good to have friends good friends to go and golf, or to play pool, or card games. or just go out somewhere and just hang out.

its really good for each person not to lose themselves when ur in a relationship but u have to be able to meet in the middle and compromise. Maybe ur friends are not so good friends thats why she doesnt want u to go. For whatever reason I will tell u to talk to her sit down and express ur feelings to her. Tell her how u really need that time just to hang with your friends.

If that doesnt work then u write a letter or type it whatever u want to so she knows exactly how u feel and if she doesnt consider ur feelings at all then u have a selfish wife who doesnt care about u and is only in this marrige for her own benefit. If shes someone who loves u and considers ur relationship important then she will listen to ur concern and u can compromise on whatever should be done

Good Luck

Answer 6

She is either jealous or you're not telling the whole story. If she is going out with girlfriends, you should be able to go out with the boys about once a month. Did you do something to make her suspicious about your activities, like go to a strip club? That is not acceptable. You guys need to sit down and discuss the situation and ask her why she feels this way.

Answer 7

This depends on your past behaviour ( have you ever been unfaithful to her? ), or she could just be very insecure about herself, a lot of women feel unattractive after childbirth, ( always tired, smell of nappies, milk and sick ) no time to do their hair etc.. !!! Knowing this could make her feel like if another woman caught your eye you might be tempted.

You just have to reassure your wife of how beautiful, and special she is. Tell her that relationships are full of compromise and that you feel she is being unfair at the moment, and you are concerned as to why.

Try this and see if it works.

Good luck hun, be firm but empathetic ( you don't want to turn into a nagged hubby, that would make you unhappy)

Answer 8

This is spam heads girlfriend answering.
She is worried that you are going to play away from home.she can go out because she knows she will never do anything like looking at other men.It is for her to have a break from the kids.she is scared you will find someone else,scared she will be left on her own with two kids.she is securing her family home.Its as much as if she controls you,everything is safe.She doesnt want to lose what she has.she doesnt trust you.When you go out as a couple,she knows she can monitor if you are looking elsewhere.you have to re-assure her.She is doing the wrong thing with you,this is exactly what can push a couple apart.we all need time out on our own see our own friends,have our own interests.What she is doing is not healthy for your relationship.suffocating you

Answer 9

Sounds like a trust issue to me. I hope that you guys can get this sorted and the best thing that you can do is talk to your wife and explain how you feel.

Is there something that you are not telling us. But the best advise that i can give is talk she is the one that you live with and have to go home to. If there is no reason for this behaviour then she is being really unreasonable and its not fair to have one rule for one and not the other.

Good luck

Answer 10

alot of women feel insecure about the way they look after having kids. Maybe shes worried you will find someone else when you are out with your mates. Everyone needs time out so just say to her you are going out and do it! At end of day it isnt fair if she goes out but you are not allowed to!