Man trouble...?

Question

I have a real problem.
My man & I are very much in love & have been together almost a year.
The trouble is, he really seems to be going off sex.
I love to be with him like that & he says he knows he is neglecting me but the last thing I want is to make him feel pressured.
The feeling of rejection is really horrid though and I can't help wondering if he aint attracted to me anymore.
We normally have a fantastic sex life but this last month or two it all seems to be going wrong.
He loves me & I know we aint gunna split up but I hate being rejected like this.
I haven't gained weight or anything, I look the same as I awlays did & he used to love the way I look.
Sex is never boring & we experiment & make each other very happy.
I know it aint the be all & end all but its important to me for closeness & intimacy.
What can I do....
Please help someone...

Answer 1

Number of things can be causing this: Get his blood pressure check, Check for diabetes, sometimes a change in medication may cause the lost for sex. He may be having a health problem.
Prostate problems and might be ashamed of it.

Or there maybe someone else in his life, I want to be wrong. But if he has become attracted to someone else this can cause the problem you mentioned above. He might be feeling ashamed of himself and it will affect his sexual appetite.( I had this to happen to me with my ex, he was beating himself up about it and just could not have sex.)

Or he may think that you have had a affair,( I am not saying you did but sometimes people talk and say thing that can affect your sexual relationship)

It could be pressure from work, everyday living.

The only thing I can tell you is talk about it. And treat him good give him relaxing bath and massages without looking forward to sex afterward. Don't pressure him. But dress sexy. Unbutton that extra button, wear that sexy skirt or shorts he likes, wear your hair in a different style do this everday with out pressuring him about sex. Maybe he can resolve what is going on and you will have your man back!

Answer 2

This sounds like a serious issue.

It could be something simple like a lot of work pressure on at the moment or he could simply be tired and in need of some rest.

I know one person has said that it could be that he is having an affair, this is possible but in my experience when someone is having an affair they become more loving to there partner to cover up there own guilt.

I think the best thing that you could do would be to sit down and talk to him, explain why how you are feeling and try to sort out together what your problems are and how you can fix them.

you will find that is the best way to deal with these issues.

Once you have everything worked out set aside an evening which you will let him think is a night on the town when in really what you will be doing is setting up a sexy evening to tempt him back to bed.
wear something that you know will drive him wild and have a few bottles of wine / drinks ready and have the entire evening showing him what he has been missing.

Answer 3

Hi, don't think it is you, although this is a natural reaction and I understand how rejected you must feel. He wouldn't just stop finding you attractive if he loves you as much as you say he does.
The usual reason a man goes off sex is because of stress and worry or if it is a side effect of medication. I would say he has something on his mind - maybe problems at work? All you can do is be patient and understanding and try to get him to talk to you at what is bothering him. Don't pressure him as it will make him and the problem worse. You can still cuddle up to him and kiss for intimacy. I am sure you will find everything will get back to 'normal' once he has worked through his problem. Have you ever read 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? In there it says men have to go into their 'little hut' to sort out solutions to their problems and it is then that women can feel rejected and unloved. Men don't solve problems talking about them as women do, they have to do the macho thing and work things out for themselves! Good luck and I wish you happiness for the future.

Answer 4

I have been through the exact same thing and the feeling of rejection is what hurts the most. But try for a second to think beyond sex and perhaps as to the reasons why? You stated that it started about 1-2 months ago, can you pin-point anything that arose in that time that could have triggered this off? Perhaps he is stressed with work/something outside of your relationship. Try not to think that it is because of you, I know it's easier said than done but it's probably something else.

The more you worry, stress he will notice and begin to feel pressurised!

Talk to him about it, explain how you feel, state that you are not pressurising him, but make him understand that you feel that he is pushing you away!

As for intimacy, there are plenty on things you can do besides sex: have a relaxing bath, massage, spend time together. Through the time you spend together he clearly isn't neglecting you. If you love each other as much as you say you do, you will get through this.

Answer 5

You've only been together about a year? Relationships change and always go from the first flush of passion to a more stable basis. Sounds like you've been communicating well about the problem and not putting pressure on him sounds like a great idea. It seems like a short-term problem for now, hopefully it will sort itself out soon. If it doesn't, keep talking and letting him know other ways he can make you feel loved and wanted.
Try not to take it too personally. From a man who's been on the other side of this situation, believe me. There are lots of pressures in life htat can make a person go quiet in the bedroom, it probably isn't you. Good luck and keep talking. You'll be fine!

Answer 6

I think you need a long ol' talk with your man and try and find out what bee is in his bonnet. Don't let him fob you off with a half-assed answer - get him to tell you what is the matter. I think you have a right to know what's on his mind. There's something the matter, because if all the other factors remain the same (he loves you, sex is good, no sign of splitting up, etc etc) then something else must be different.

Answer 7

Um... is he undergoing some kind of pressure, like at work, or with friends? That tends to take a man's mind off sex pretty effectively.
Also... give him time. Talk to him about it, not pressing, but just asking what the problem may be. It may be just your showing interest in something that troubles him will open up and be honest, and the problem will work out.

Yes, definitely talk to him and don't start doing things over his head (well, except for small and nice surprises, of course, but I think that you know about those).

Answer 8

Maybe he's worried about the pressure to perform and give you a good time. It can be very stressful for a man who cares about whether his woman enjoys herself, as we're like an old-fashioned musket, one-shot at a time..

Do you ever take the initiative? Lot's of men are turned on by a woman leading the way, and forcing herself on him, but I can appreciate this would be devastating for you if he still refused, so you've got to be as sure as you can be beforehand.

The best advice I can give is to talk to him. Ask him what he thinks is going on. And then give him a Joe Blob.

Good luck

Answer 9

well i understand that sex is not the be all and end all of a relationship,but i also appreciate how important it is to get some, a while ago i went on holiday with my man and all of a sudden he went off sex, and it was really frustrating, i asked him what was wrong immediately and he said that he had a mental block and that it was nothing to do me or him not being attracted to me!!! I tried not to pressure him, sometimes i was too frustrated not to pressure him but eventually it passed!!! Talk to him, watch him and leave it!!! good luck

Answer 10

Generally it could be 2 things, either the sex has become boring and predictable, or he might be getting it elsewhere.

Try being spontaneous. Buy some nice lingerie, doing it in places you don't usually do it, try different positions, be experimental.

If that does not work, keep your eyes open. Something else is going on.