Okay so my situation is this and I will be really honest...
My husband is in jail but will be home within the next month so of course my family is up in arms since they don't care for him or or relationship. I guess what I'm asking is how do I keep the peace between the two sides, still getting my family AND my husband without having to fight about the situation all the time?
2006-07-12 01:38:21 · 10 answers · asked by preciseonegirl28 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Good Lord no, he was arrested for possesion...
2006-07-12 01:46:58 · update #1
well you have a choice in how you react to their words....
I mean when he gets out and you gotta visit with your family and maybe they ask you " where is that sorry bastard is" just say he is at home or in the car... you cant help what they say but you can help how you react... sooner or later they will get the message that you don't want to fight anymore....
2006-07-12 01:44:04 · answer #1 · answered by panda 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
you might have to accept that you can't. That they are never going to change their stance, and that you will end banging your head off the proverbial brick wall.
Your family probably have good reasons to want to protect you, they will probably feel validated by the fact your husband has been in jail, and he will probably feel defensive about this, because they are going to bring it up at the slightest opportunity.
Whatever the reasons, your husband has done the crime, and served his time, and he will need your support when he comes out. I would imagine the last thing he will needs is family domestics.
You are old enough to be married, so I think you have to be an adult here and just ask all sides to accept that what is, is. The more they try to tell you they dislike this relationship the more they are keeping you together I think. You made a commitment to your husband and you should try to honour it if you can. And if at some stage you can't, it should be your decision, no-one elses.
All you can do is be available to everyone, but draw an invisible line over which your family may not cross. That is your marital boundary, and belongs only to you and your husband.
I would try to talk to them firmly but fairly, let them speak, and then tell them how you see things and what you wish to happen, and what you intend for your future.
Good luck
2006-07-12 08:48:31 · answer #2 · answered by Eden* 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's always hard to have to pick between a spouse and family. the idea here is that if you love both, then it has to be worked out. you need to have a group meeting and explain that. say you love your husband and you love your family and you really don't want to have to live on eggshells and you don't want to have to choose and end up losing one to gain the other.
if they are rational and responsible, then you might get what you want. however, if they are hot headed and one-sided.
of course, you haven't explained why your family feels the way it does. if your husband is a child pornographer or a molester, then I would probably side with your family.
good luck and god bless. Pray about the situation, too
2006-07-12 08:43:03 · answer #3 · answered by DrBigShoes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them, say hey I married him for better and for worse. I love him with all my heart and I am going to honor my vows til death do you part. Then tell them I know you don't like him but Please be respectful towards him and I. Don't cut him down or make him feel miserable while he is around. Also he is part of the family too now and if I or somebody else in the family did something you don't aprove of you would try to be there for us as best as you could be. And make them promise you that if they love you they will try to be peaceful and respectful. and vice verse.
2006-07-12 09:12:56 · answer #4 · answered by c1993jeepgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married your husband for better or worse. Your family needs to understand that. Even if they do not like him, and they don't have too, they still need to respect you and your choices.
2006-07-12 08:44:42 · answer #5 · answered by bluskygreengrass 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bring them together and go on a special vacation and have a real good time.. going to a carnival.. out to eat.. just something really funny.. take pictures and it would be great bcuz that can be memories for yu all
2006-07-12 08:43:13 · answer #6 · answered by KryssyBeyondBeauty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe your family is worried about him...think if they have good reasons to be...and if they don't and he's changed...talk to them and explain that everyone deserves a second chance..and if they won't treat him like an ex con maybe he'll try to make it work between them too
2006-07-12 08:46:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to jail and avoid the whole mess?
2006-07-12 08:43:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just choose who you were married into and made vows, but in america, man can put asunder God has made into place!
2006-07-12 08:42:53 · answer #9 · answered by piMAX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't be sorry for him, squish him like a bug
2006-07-12 12:27:59 · answer #10 · answered by just me!!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋