Answer to my problem is going to be a big challenge.When you read details,you will find serious contradictions.
Our love we believe,is timeless..
We both want to keep this relationship for life.what should we do?How do we solve issues?
As i see:
We share every thought openly and honestly.
One more thing, i was going through a bad phase,a kind of depression, when we met 3yrs back.
Today i am strong and self confident.
Sometimes I think his love and guidance had brought me back from a hopeless state.
Whenever he tried to FADE away-I kind of slid back into depression .
I keep telling him that my marriage to someone else,will be tough on him.
last week, i offered to remain unmarried for life-to keep our relationship going,to avoid hurting him...
But on many occasions i have a very strong urge to get married...get beautiful status of happily married woman in society.
He has offered to marry me-wants to marry me next year,after providing good money for his family.
Pl dont say Quit, DUMP HIM
2006-07-12 00:07:20 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
He is in Blore,India.I am working in a hospital in Bombay.
He has a loving wife,great kids.His finances are a bit tight at the moment but in 6-8 months he would have more than enough money.
I meet him once in 20 days,spend the night.We have a great sex life.We speak for almost one hour a day, on phone.
He truly and madly loves me.He still wants me to find someone and get married by next year.
I also want to marry,partly cause i do not want his family life to get disturbed.
I think he hates it when i get to meet men with marriage on my mind.
Our age gap bothers me-what will friends and relatives say is the question.Cant take him to my parents,Cant have public display of emotions and hold his arm in public.
Once or twice i told him that...i might be using him.
I have strong sexual urges and needs.I want him to meet me and have sex atleast once in 15 days.
For last18 months or so i have an exclusive relationship with him.
Pl help us to find a way.we do not want to stop this relationship.
2006-07-12 00:08:02 · update #1
The Age Issue isn't a Problem!...Neither are your Bad Phases or Depressions, as You call them...if the Person dating You is aware of them & willing to support You!
I'm White, 48, and have been dating a Black Caribbean girl, 36, for the Past 2 Years...who has Bipolar Disease. We've been living together for just-over-a-year now...and it's been working out quite well. ( She'll have her moments...and usually because she's forgotten to take her Meds! ) I Really Do Love Her - And plan to Propose in the very-near Future!
What I don't like about Your Situation...is the Lack of Personal Contact! You only see him 1 Night every 3 Weeks...What's he up to the other 20 Days? At least if You were both getting together a few times a week - You'd get some sense of commitment, right?
I'm glad you stated that Today...You're Strong & Self-Confident!...Because, You Owe it to Yourself to put this Guy to the Test!...And, Yourself to the Test!
I think You should go out with Friends &/or Family as much as possible during those 20-day stretches where you don't see him. ( ie. Don't always be sitting @ home when He calls!...Make him have to Leave-a-Message Now & Again!...You'll soon see a change in his Non-Chalant Behavior...ie. Is He serious, or not? )
Get involved in a weekly event...a Self-Interest course...Whatever interests You...Because You'll meet others with Similar Interests & Make New Friends!...You'll find yourself becoming even stronger & more self-confident!
Bottom Line: Invest time in Yourself First! Do things that make You happy!...If this guy remains part of your life...Fine!...If not, God probably has a reason why!
2006-07-12 01:37:11 · answer #1 · answered by AlbertaGuy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've answered your own question. You need to find someone else, unmarried, get married, and move on.
It is never right to break up someone else's home, and he is probably lying to you about that anyway.
Staying unmarried won't avoid hurting him, it will just keep you in a state of misery and unhappiness.
Sex was meant for marriage. Everything you have said confirms that. You are in a state of confusion and unhappiness.
Sex was meant to be carried out in the safety of the marriage relationship, to give children stability as they grow up, and to help you and your husband help each other develop.
None of that is possible in your present situation.
Find a kind, steady, loving, loyal man, who has not already committed to his own wife and family (and who is, by the way, breaking that commitment with you--not trustworthy, no matter how you have convinced yourself because of your own needs).
2006-07-12 10:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My thoughts on this are:
He helped you through a tough time. Now you feel a connection to him. You relate your feeling better to being "all because of him". It's possible you may love him....but it may be something else that you are confusing with love.
1.) If he wants to be married to you, he should leave his wife and marry you.It's not fair to her...she deserves to find someone who will love her exclusively.
2.) If you want to marry him and he refuses to leave his wife...end it now and move on. There is someone out there who will put you first in their life.
3.) If he is insisting that you marry somone else...it kind of says he's not planning to leave his wife. You should date other people and maybe your soul mate will reveal himself. It is never a good thing to push yourself on someone who is not wanting the same kind of relationship that you are. It won't work unless he wants the same things that you do.
4.)He is not the only thing in the world that can keep you from being deressed. Go out....meet new people and develop new friendships.
5.)The age gap is pretty big. I promise, it will eventually cause trouble. A "generation" gap is not a good thing for a married couple.
Good luck and much happiness.
2006-07-12 09:27:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is using you; he is a complete loser. Dump him, see a doctor for a prescription for your depression and find someone your own age who isn't married already. You'll have a lot more in common, and your bond with be stronger.
Ifyou stay with him, you'll grow old waiting for him to come through on his promises to marry you and give your family a dowry.
2006-07-12 07:12:37 · answer #4 · answered by ceprn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hrm i don't think its really a good idea to be involved with a married man.. i mean its not fair to his family and its not really fair to you either
you deserve a man who wants to be with you and only you... who will treat you with respect and who treats you the way you deserve to be treated..
i'm sure if you wait and keep looking you'll find a man that you want to spend your entire life with and who wants to spend his life with you
2006-07-12 07:48:31 · answer #5 · answered by steph 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't want to hear this, but forget him. But the age difference is too much,
2006-07-12 07:13:26 · answer #6 · answered by txcatwoman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start calling him Dad.
2006-07-12 07:16:48 · answer #7 · answered by the rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your such a darn bloody sucker!!! GO SUCK AN EGG *****!! YOUR GUILTY OF ADULTERY!!!!!! THATS WHAT YOU ARE ...A 11'TH GRADE ***** !! WHAT ELSE!! AND HEY!! HE'Z NO BETTER!! HE SUCKS TOO!!HE'Z A JACK ***!!! SUCKERS!!
2006-07-12 07:16:34 · answer #8 · answered by jd4paul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋