Answer to my problem is going to be a big challenge.When you read details,you will find serious contradictions.
Our love we believe,is timeless..
We both want to keep this relationship for life.what should we do?How do we solve issues?
As i see:
We share every thought openly and honestly.
One more thing, i was going through a bad phase,a kind of depression, when we met 3yrs back.
Today i am strong and self confident.
Sometimes I think his love and guidance had brought me back from a hopeless state.
Whenever he tried to FADE away-I kind of slid back into depression .
I keep telling him that my marriage to someone else,will be tough on him.
last week, i offered to remain unmarried for life-to keep our relationship going,to avoid hurting him...
But on many occasions i have a very strong urge to get married...get beautiful status of happily married woman in society.
He has offered to marry me-wants to marry me next year,after providing good money for his family.
Pl dont say Quit, DUMP HIM
2006-07-11 23:56:09 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He is in Blore,India.I am working in a hospital in Bombay.
He has a loving wife,great kids.His finances are a bit tight at the moment but in 6-8 months he would have more than enough money.
I meet him once in 20 days,spend the night.We have a great sex life.We speak for almost one hour a day, on phone.
He truly and madly loves me.He still wants me to find someone and get married by next year.
I also want to marry,partly cause i do not want his family life to get disturbed.
I think he hates it when i get to meet men with marriage on my mind.
Our age gap bothers me-what will friends and relatives say is the question.Cant take him to my parents,Cant have public display of emotions and hold his arm in public.
Once or twice i told him that...i might be using him.
I have strong sexual urges and needs.I want him to meet me and have sex atleast once in 15 days.
For last18 months or so i have an exclusive relationship with him.
Pl help us to find a way.we do not want to stop this relationship.
2006-07-11 23:56:27 · update #1
Well dont mess with the family of the that person.He is simply taking advantages from you. Apart from age difference, the fact of keeping relation outside the martial relation is outrageous,and it will be very tough for you to maintain such lusty relation.
Once you will marry to a nice person of your age ,(mark my words) you will forget that old lusty fellow,who is simply having fun and giving name of LOVE to it.
2006-07-12 00:33:04 · answer #1 · answered by ajai 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, i agree that , as you said it is bit complicated. If you are bit patient, please read this. Good wishes.
As you said, you had depression problem long back where this person came to your life and helped you to come out from that. My dear friend, listen carefully here, instead of being greatful to his help, you developed kind of relational feelings towards him, which i would say , very normal in this situation. Now, the matter is into relational behaviour. He and you are into physical relation and you find it ok. Now question is to how to end this relation ??? Whether we should marry each other or something else should be done.
My dear friend, i can sense that your love and sharing basically came because, he helped you lot when you were in difficult state. I would say you should have remained greatful to him instead taking him into your heart. Here is the explanation. He has his own family. Now if you get into his life he has to dump other part? imagine she is also girl like you. I would strongly suggest you that find another interesting guy who suits your age and mood, get married. This is the age your sexual desire stands infront of your mind. I can think seperately standing out side. At this moment you are thinking life is back to normal and i will be happy if i get married to this guy. I would say your thoughts are partially right but other way if you look into , you are very young aged girl who has great life ahead. I will not say Forget him. No you should not do that to one who helped you. Please try to stop your physical relation. Listen very carefully this statement, Two minds meets because of sexual desire then most probably love exsiting between those two are very less. I would say if you both love each other, and if it is really a true love, why did it go up to sex...think think...is physiacl relation stood front than love..think think..Is he cheating his wife because of you? Are you setting bad example for the family you adore? think think. Can i say one harsh truth to you. You said he is 46 and yo are 28. with in couple of years he will loose sexual desires, at that time what will you do because you will still young and i feel that you are more happy now because your have regular intercourse.
Now the final answer from my side, Try to find someone for your life .
please tell him to concentrate towards his family.
please come out from this. i feel you are heading towards un friendly life after one year if you continue this. Please talk to each other and stop it with mutual understandings for each others sake .
good luck
2006-07-12 00:13:43 · answer #2 · answered by rai 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe he does care about you well being, but I also think that he doesn't want to leave his wife and also how it will look to others. Your culture is different from mine but I think that he worries what people will say if he leaves his wife to marry you. Also, him telling you to marry someone else was his way of trying to tell you that he won't be the one to do it. I know you feel like you need him to survive, I don't think it's healthy for you. You're still young, you shouldn't have to depend on someone else to make you feel worthwhile, love yourself first and it'll be much easier for someone else to love you.
I have been in love with a married man also, it's been over 5 years and he's still with his wife. Don't waste all your time on a man that doesn't appreciate you.
2006-07-12 00:11:34 · answer #3 · answered by caramel_sundae1077 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! you dont have to dump him, you two should come to an agreement and decide NOT to see other again, and pls act now! Once he is married, you should also get married too! that is what almost woman want to be married! Pls act now so that you dont regret in the future.
I will be praying with you!! Good Luck!
2006-07-12 00:37:26 · answer #4 · answered by boselydia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand you. i'm 31 and my boyfriend is fifty 8. we've met on the web. and that i became having quite difficult time, i will continuously be grateful to him for his help. He proposed marriage more desirable than 10 situations. yet my relations did not approve because of the age distinction. we are having quite solid time when we are mutually. i respect the way he seems at me and his touches. do not unload HIM. yet talk with him. We had a great talk with my boyfriend and determined now to not get marry, the biggest difficulty is having one yet another and loving one yet another. regrettably there are literally not many fortuitously married adult men or women human beings. there is something in marriage which makes us to loose the which technique of affection. we are both unmarried....
2016-10-14 09:32:58 · answer #5 · answered by carris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i too fell madly in love with a older man,he was good to me but he wanted a night out with the guys every two weeks,they drank,had hookers in & out of there rooms & who knows what eles they did,he gave me lots of money to shop while he was gone,this worked for a while,but i wanted more
2006-07-12 00:07:29 · answer #6 · answered by judy3107711 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't mess up your's and his life further anymore, find a guy of your age get married .DO IT or else you will regret it for rest of your LIFE.don't delay it further...
2006-07-12 00:06:01 · answer #7 · answered by sultan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
2006-07-12 00:08:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋