What can you do when someone is in need of a serious reality check?? They really need to realise all the good things that they have in their life instead of allowing depression to get worse and being full of negativity.
How do you deal with this?? What would you say to the person concerned?? They are very difficult to deal with and are being selfish just now and will not see other peoples opinions??
2006-07-11 23:53:21 · 9 answers · asked by Sasha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Do not feed the depression or give any sympathy. Arguing will not work, because they are so set that they are right, that they will argue black is white to keep in their delusional state.
What you need to to is look up pacing and leading. Whatever he says, see it from his point of view, for a small while, as you talk WITH him, sense when he is becoming more in tuned with you.
Pace his language, tone, volume, the major and sub modalities. mirror his body language and his breathing.
Then gradually when you are in a deep rapport with him, start adding little bits of goodness in, see if he can see these and add more.
Keep pacing until you are in rapport with him and then start to lead him out of the darkness. Add more and more good things he should feel gratitude for. Reward him when he sees the goodness and do nothing to re-inforce the darkness.
Do not be mean, dispirited, frustrated with him, as this will only re-enforce his Belief System he has built up.
Challenge his identity, but in a way that he can accept, so that he can prove himself to be the opposite of what his inner dialogue is telling him he is.
Ask him if he is hearing voices, if so are they of his father? or whom? if so are they in the present? are they critical? stern? condesending? sarcastic? angry?
Get him to replay those voices to himself, as if they are in his past, not the present, with his eyes looking straight over to the left. tell him to change the tone and pitch to be more humerous. make them sound like donald duck or something.
Make the tone to be lighter and lighter until the words do not make any sense and they lose their power.
Then change the words so that the message being heard means the opposite of what it did before.
If you need any more help, please email me again. I am ready to listen and advice.
You DO have all the strength you need, it may not always seem so, but it is INSIDE your heart.
All the best.
2006-07-12 01:21:39 · answer #1 · answered by kenhallonthenet 5 · 12⤊ 6⤋
You can tell someone again and again what they should do, but people need to decide for themselves.
You say they are being difficult to deal with, so it sounds like you should just leave them be - its not like they are asking for help. Alternatively, tell them to compare their life and what they have to people who are trying to survive in a state of complete poverty in the third world. When things are put into perspective like that, you soon realise that you have a lot more than a lot of people in the world.
You could also get them a book about how to deal with depression, or get them to go see their doctor, but by the sound of your question this person is actively being down, rather than someone who has been overcome by depression.
Anyway, hope that helps, good luck!
2006-07-12 07:27:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take them out to the deepest part of the woods,throw them a tent and a sack of food.When you return to get them in about 3 or 4 days they will be most appreciative of their life.Good luck God bless;O)(Harsh,but a very effective reality check,works too)
2006-07-12 08:16:06 · answer #3 · answered by melissa_froggies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slap them really hard across the face the next time they act this way. Follow that with a rant about how good they actually have it compaired to other people and make sure they know you mean it and threaten to have less to do with them.
2006-07-12 07:14:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"They really need to realise"
maybe they don't think so
who are you to say what they need?
maybe you ought try to understand what they feel instead of trying to decide what they should think.
on the other hand, if he's just a loser that's always going to be a loser, which from the other questions you asked, it sounds like he is,
u should lose the zero and get with a hero
email me anytime
2006-07-12 06:58:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take them to the pub have a few drinks then lay down what your thinking, they would have had a few drinks by then and will be able to see where your coming from. tell then to snap out of it it's not doing them any good and no point dwelling on the past, get over it before it takes over them. worked for me when my best mate done it to me!
2006-07-12 10:24:15 · answer #6 · answered by blondebirdcrazy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then it may be a situation where that person knows that things arnt all that bad...but just enjoys the attention that they are getting.
Humans are strange creatures.
2006-07-12 06:57:57 · answer #7 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them, leave them to wallow in there own self pitty!!
2006-07-12 06:56:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him how to live life and he'll understand!
2006-07-12 07:02:34 · answer #9 · answered by Jj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋