Is pleasure suppose to rule our lives? Is Sex all that matters in relationships?

Question

I am a young dude and need feedbacks from anyone. Your help is very important

Answer 1

for me, the most important thing in a relationship is the intimacy that happens between me and my boyfriend. i like it when he knows what i'm thinking, when i know what he's thinking, when we just lie down on the couch saying nothing and doing nothing and yet enjoying ourselves.

if pleasure is what you want, than this is what you should look for. but sometimes you should start thinking about what others want, about friends,family, about people around you, about getting a better job, about sacrificing some pleasure for the sake of a higher goal.

Answer 2

Well, we are human, so pleasure is important -- however there is FAR more than sex in good lasting relationships.

My partner and I have been together almost 15 years. We love each other very much. We do still have more sex than most straight couples we know (about 5 times a week) but we do a lot more than that. We share hobbies and interests; we spend time just being together; we still hold hands; we do NOT fight (we've had less than 5 disagreements in almost 15 years and only 2 of those that involved raised voices); we talk about things, even things that only interests one of us; we continually build our life together.

I would list the following things as being most important, in order:

Love
Communication
Shared goals (helped by communication)
Compassion (not only for one another, but for others -- we are fairly successful and we do a lot to help others, both individually and through donations to worthy charities)
Passion.

I hope that helps.

Regards,

Reynolds Jones
http://www.rebuff.org
[e-mail]

Answer 3

Young dude in the male section, you do need to hear this. ::sigh::
Sex is NOT all that matters. Most people, whether they realize it or not, DO want more. In the gay male community, however, it's a little harder to find people who are all kinds of serious about a relationship. The further we move out of the collective closet of the past, the less and less this seems to be true, but the younger people (as with the heterosexual community, I might add) seem to be more sex-focused. There are people out there looking for serious relationships, but they're a little harder to find, in part because there are less gay people than straight, and the main "meeting place" is gay bars. which, the types of serious relationship people you're looking for aren't as attracted to.

As for Sergio, I'd ask: Is your relationship all about sex? If it's not, then why couldn't you have the same type of relationship with someone of the same sex? It's because there's a lot more to it.

Answer 4

A realationship is build on love and mutual respect irrespective of it being a gay relationship or a straight relationship. sex is a part of life and hence a part of the relationship also. remember it is a part and not the entire thing. there is a lot more to a relationship than sexual gratification and pleasure.

Here in comes the difference between love and lust.

Lust is just physical and the person doesnt matter as long as lust is being satisfied, whereas in love the person gains more importance than his physicality. whereas...
Love combines physical desires with emotional satisfaction thereby phrasing the act of sexual intimacy between two people in love as "making love".

In a relationship sex is equally important as the feelings of love, affection, care and company people feel for eachother in the relationship.

Answer 5

No pleasure should not rule your life. Kindness and love should rule your life. Sex in a relationship matters but you will find that many other things matter more as the relationship grows. That first glow of "gotta have you every minute" will always fade .

Answer 6

Part 1) Would you want to live your life with out pleasure?

Part 2) No sex is not all that matters, But it is the most fun thing that you can do that the Government has not figured out how to tax you on.

Answer 7

No, sex shouldn't be the only thing that matters. In a relationship love, respect, and trust should come first not just pleasure and sex.

Answer 8

Hey sex is awesome really but I think you'll see for yourself that sex without the 2 people caring for each other is worse than sex with a person you really care for. Allthough it does depend and I guess you should make that experience yourself. There are some people that can see love and sex as 2 different things.

Answer 9

No sex is NOT all that matters. You must develop a relationship aside from and apart from sex.. Lust fades. people grow old and wrinkled. Tattoos wrinkle too. . The trick is to be with your best friend.. Sex is wonderful and fun and is a part of it, but not the whole relationship..

God bless & Hugs from Texas. {:-)
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Answer 10

For those among us who seek stable long term relationships sex is not all that important, as time goes by.

However at the outset is IS very useful as a bonding exercise at the outset. Later it just reinforces the pair-bonding.