Ok, one of my good friends, who happens to be male, is having a party for his 25th birthday. He claims that we are really close friends and I'm one of the most important people in the world to him. I called him earlier today to ask him if he wanted to go with my to my company picnic on his birthday and he said that he couldn't go. Then he asked me what time it would be and I told him and he said again he couldn't go and this time casually mentioned "yeah, I'm having a party for my birthday, you can come if you'd like." I can come if I like?? In my opinion, that's not a real invitation expressing that you'd like me to be there, that's something you casually say to an associate, not someone who's one of your best friends. Tell me, what do you think?? Especially guys!! I know I'm looking at this from a female perspective, guys, would you be this nonchalant about inviting one of your closest friends to your 25th birthday party?? Thanks in advance for your thoughtful answers. :)
2006-07-11 21:42:53 · 6 answers · asked by UniqueIsWhoSheIs 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This is not even a guy/girl issue. It could be a number of things, I'll suggest a few that in my mind would be more probable, but I wouldn't consider this exhaustive. Obviously the only way to really know is to ask him.
1. Perhaps he does not see you as being as close as he says. Maybe some of these things have been said because he thinks he would hurt you in some way. I would believe this to be very likely if you two have had a dating history and you insisted on maintaining a friendship post break-up. If this is true, he would not invite you because he simply wasn't really interested in having you there. The most depressing possibility for sure.
2. There is a reason he didn't want you to be there. Whether the contents of the party he would deem embarrassing to reveal to you or there will be somebody there that he's trying to get with and is afraid you may complicate that in some way. Maybe he's hoping that such a half-hearted invitation will keep you from coming.
3. He has a couple of circles of friends and you weren't in the one that "fit" this particular party. Even if this is his birthday party, he may see it as simply an opportunity to have a party, rather than it being a day of celebrating his life with his closest friends. The 25th birthday is going to be just a number to him if this is the case. Maybe you weren't in that circle he considered. In my mind, this is the most benign of them all, and while it still may hurt a bit, at least it's not a real reflection on the state of your relationship.
4. Someone else is hosting? Much of the same logic from #3 would still apply.
Frankly, none of these are going to help, though, it's just going to give you more to get your brain all crazy over. There are worse things than not being invited to a party, and it may just be time to say goodbye if this is how he treats his friends, or at least you. Is this an isolated incident?
2006-07-11 21:58:55 · answer #1 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 13⤊ 4⤋
Okay. I'm a guy and we do say things that are really stupid. Tell him what you just wrote! Please, for all of us guys, we need the input! Ladies, if we say something that bothers you, say so at the time, don't wait until 2-3 days have passed and then bring it up...we're like puppy dogs that hear a strange sound. He more than likely said it that way because he didn't want you to miss out with the picnic. But, before you do anything, let him know. Why are we guys the last to know that our women friends are mad at us? good luck!
2006-07-12 04:51:10 · answer #2 · answered by jkcmr2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really want to know the answer, go to the party, if there is a girl at the party that he seems interested, then, i would say maybe he didn't want you to come for that reason, maybe he thinks you are interested in him. if there 's no such girl, then i would say you over reacted or he doesn't consider you are a real friend.
2006-07-12 04:51:59 · answer #3 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, I can see why you're confused. Honestly, I don't know. But here's a shot in the dark that might help. Has he made any romantic overtures towards you? Is maybe all that important person stuff maybe signals that he wants a relationship? If it is, and you're not picking up on it or responding to it, that might explain his sudden aloofness toward you. It's all I can come up with from your Q.
2006-07-12 04:50:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you and him a very close friends then dont look toomuch into it. I think he felt bad that you would consider going for the office picnic when you already KNEW there was a party. Guys are also very sensitive about such things.
go for his party.
2006-07-12 04:49:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! Well, he may not want to be pressuring you to go. Maybe he's afraid that he'll sound like he's really interested in you and thinks you just want to be friends. But, I don't know, it sounds very suspicious of something else... :(
2006-07-12 04:46:49 · answer #6 · answered by paige b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋