I've been with this person for a good 14 years we came together when we both were in need of someone due to divorce, for support and just to have someone, we were always happy even when we were broke and unemployed, mainly because we had each other, I never went without her or kept her waiting for me if she couldn't go ,we had a beautiful child together and she is the light of my life, but it seems as if lately nothing sems to please us
together or as individuals we have tried almost everything from hot tub clubs to going out on dates with each other and it may be fun for the time but the next day its back to hum drum ? what does it take to be happy again?
2006-07-11 21:20:58 · 15 answers · asked by roughgar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
when a relationship is over - it's over. you can't go back to the good times. you have to decide now if you want to stay this way for the sake of your child or not.
but it's not going to get better, it might get more peaceful - as in you will no longer bug but ignore each other - but better no. you have to ask yourself how much sacrifice your child is worth and if you can help yourself from reacting to everything that is bugging you.
2006-07-11 21:24:17 · answer #1 · answered by ilya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what marriage councelors are for. If you aren't married, that's okay. The same ideas they'll give you apply.
All couples go through this, that have been together for a long time. It is considered normal.
It sounds to me like the two of you have a relationship worth saving.
Get some professional advice. They're very good at what they do.
It would be worth it. They'll tell you how to rev up your love and happiness together again.
GOOD LUCK! You care so you're half way there.
2006-07-12 04:29:46 · answer #2 · answered by Molly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you both are getting bored, find things to do different even if it's just going to the park and sitting on a blanket, look up at the clouds and talk about some of your future plans, life does start to get boring, but you have to spice it up, do something that doesn't cost money (ummm...except for gas)
Write down 5 things that you would like to try and have her do it at the same time and then give them to each other and see what ideas you both come up with, be honest and talk to each other.
2006-07-12 04:28:50 · answer #3 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heck no it aint over! Give it some time to work itself out dont push it or force the feelings. If they're there then they're bound to resurface again. Dont let go of a good thing if its something u truly want. i dont know you're full situation but really give it some time and dont dwell on it too much. Sometimes this is how relationships are. Just think of it this way, it can only get better from here. and if it doesnt its because u chose to let it be this way.
2006-07-12 04:27:23 · answer #4 · answered by boo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many good books on the subject. Check it out. Many relationships reach such ruts. Relationships are work, as I'm sure you know. Perhaps you need a little magic again. Try something new. An ex-boyfriend had parents who always tried new things. She pretended she didn't know him when he came to a club and picked her up as a one night stand. It was preplanned and they found it very exciting.
You may not be into such things, but there are lots of ways to make things exciting and new. Again, there are many good books with wonderful advice in this area.
2006-07-12 04:33:15 · answer #5 · answered by EUDORA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do not think it is over and pack up, all people go thru periods when things just go dull, but you know there was love before and it can be rekindled. Before the child you lived for each other, then after that both of your attentions went to the child,. Now you need to refocus that attention on each other again, go to the movies, take her to a different resturant every Saturday, dress up for each other, buy her sexy underwear and clothes, let her model it for you at nite, make her feel special and treat her like the princess she is, you will feel the difference in her, do not take each other for granted, Seduce her before sex, talk to each other in bed at nite,work on the relationship if you value it.
2006-07-12 04:36:51 · answer #6 · answered by Colin K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends how long this has been going on, me and my husband have been together 14 years as well. We go through times where we seem to just ho hum along, like almost a year once and then it gets better. I just think it comes along with being with somone for so long, but if your personally not happy mabe its somthing else.
2006-07-12 04:26:18 · answer #7 · answered by ~Kim~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
money isn't everything but without money, you are nothing. ppl do grow up. when you haven't had a taste of material things, is fine. but bills need to be paid, a child to raise, food on the table. may be she realises that now with the child is different responsibilities. try to grow up & get a job to show her what you are capable of being an adult man.
2006-07-12 05:04:32 · answer #8 · answered by Yvette R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think that those are signs that IT'S OVER.. those are just signs that you have to take some TIME.. there are so many ways that time could help... it depends on how you both need it.. do you need time separately? or do you need more time together? maybe if you give some space for a while it will rekindle the fire.., or maybe you should be spending more time together..
2006-07-12 04:26:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like life in general. Maybe new careers or starting a business. Or take a new hobby like rock climbing
2006-07-12 04:23:33 · answer #10 · answered by skipjack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋