Help me disconnect!!!!!!!!! Ok so I want to leave my husband of 10 Years. I do love him deep down but I truly

Question

hate him on the top what do I do. And yes I have children invovled............................

OK, I have to say, I have tried marriage counsilimg, he went for 1 sessiom and i went till I couldnt afford it. I love this man!!!!!! We are Road dogs..... Meaning, We love each other but not lately..... He hates mr and I him...........

I gotta ad that I was raped when I was young, 14 to be exacted, I had a hard time being sexually active but I love my husband soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much I wiuld do anything for him, I am his porn star, but he makes me fel like sit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

ok deep down u love him...thats wut matters more than wuts on top. Obviously u come to a part of ur relationship where things have changed and u just want to get away from it all. I dont know why u hate him so much..but to me, i dont believe u fully worked it out. sure u feel like u have done everything and have given him many chances (i hope). But i think u r looking at this the wrong way. there is something u r not looking at. i dont know wut it is but u r missing something and u dont see it. It cant be possible to hate someone from the top when u love him deeply. Dont let your views get in the way of feelings. Look at him. see wut about him u hate so much. once u find it, see wut u can do with it.

Answer 2

Maybe you should stop thinking about him being "on the top" unless you are talking about a sexual position. Then would suggest you have a more honest conversation with him about this issue - you might be suprised how an honest conversation about sex would be a benefit for both of you. Your children are been off with two happy people living appart then two unhappy people living together - as long as both of you realize that just because you don't love each other anymore does not been that your responsibilities as parents to your children do not end and that relationship will continue between each other even if the love for each other is gone. I would suggest that a mature way of dealing with this issue would be to talk to your husband and not to a group of strangers on the internet because the responses you may get wont be for your benefit. A good idea might be to seek out professional health from a family therapist or your priest, minister, and/or rabbi - whatever is the proper religious leader for you.

Answer 3

I f you've truly given this a lot of thought and you really can't stay with him then tell him! Obviously if there is violence involved, you have to make your kids safe, but otherwise just tell the guy how you feel. Leaving is hard but you can make it easier by planning things like a military operation. Start with where you are planning to go! Is he gonna leave or you and the kids? When you are planning to go and what do you need to take? Make a list and you might find that you decide to stay , but if not you will be better able to cope if you're organised. This might sound a cold-hearted way of doing things but you have to plan for your kids and this makes it easier. Believe me, I know from experience! Good luck!x

Answer 4

Really, you have to find the answer to the million dollar question..is it better to stay together for the kids or not? It's really a simple answer....is there any danger in any way to you or the children? I don't just mean physical, although that is a no-brainer. If the answer is yes, then get out....if you just fight about petty things, and can still manage to treat each other with respect, then maybe there is hope. If you and he are not modeling the marriage you would like for your kids to have, and if there is degredation, disrepect, or abuse (verbal, emotional, and/or physical), then maybe you need to just realign your priorities. Find a way to put that line again between right and wrong, and stand up for yourself, no matter how subtley you need to begin doing that. Just remember, it is all about those kids, and it is up to you to show them what to expect when they themselves get married. You didn't go into much depth into your situation, and you don't need to, but decide and follow through with what you want to model for those children to expect when they are venturing off and trying to make their own marriages work.

Answer 5

Are you sure that what you're feeling "deep down" is love? or is it habit, convenience, memories, etc.?

Obviously you have a choice. Either you examine what it is you "hate" and attempt to fix it, or you move toward building a new life.
If done properly, children don't suffer in a divorce. They only suffer when parents behave badly.
I think key is whether you are happy in your relationship. IMO, everyone is entitled to a degree of happiness and contentment in their marriage. If you feel that your marriage has nothing to offer you (outside some material benefits), then you might seriously consider getting out. If you believe that you are still fundamentally happy with your husband, then see what you can do to change what's bothering you.

Answer 6

Well your obviously not happy. Don't stay there and you know what they always say to stay for the children's sake, but sometimes staying is worse. Cause then the kids see the way you are towards eachother and then when their in their own relationships they learn from you guys. You need to talk to your husband and let hime know all the things you hate about him and see if he'll change if not then you gotta go. It ain't healthy for you, for him, or for your kids to be in an unhappy home. Good Luck

Answer 7

okay..I think you need some time for yourself to find out what you really feel about this man.. Try to go for a couple of weeks somewhere silent alone.. Tell your man it's important for you and try to be honest.. Don't take the kids with you just spend sometimes with yourself it's really important..Dont divorce him if you are sure that you don't love him.. I think you need to talk to him and try solve things out .. If he loves you he will understand.. Tell him the things that bother you in your marriage and give him another chance.. If you are not convinced then just follow your heart even if that means divorce..

Answer 8

its always the subliminal feelings that get you down eventually. it is not wise to leave your husband if you still love him deep down, especially if there's children involved. it will make it harder for you to raise them, and it would be traumatic to them (trust me, i lost my dad a few years ago [but it was to death, same concept though] and now i am struggling with the fact that my childhood has been cut short because my dad is no longer with me). if there is still an ounce of love for him in you, utilize it and TRY to make things work out. you might find that perhaps you really did love him on top, you were just bitter. it happens to everyone.

Answer 9

Well, your avatar looks mean, so therefor I am assuming you know you are mean. Go to a family shrink and see for sure if the relationship is over. Then decide what to do. You owe it to the children. Have your hubby get involved in the counseling,,, it is for the best.

Answer 10

Breathe...........Breathe...............marriage is a love/hate relationship. If you love him, you won't be happy without him. Sure you'll enjoy the break for awhile, but you can do that without leaving. Just tell him you need a week off to find yourself and do it! Or both of you get away....away from kids away from people and take a break to find each other again!