I'm married and we have had problems for sometime now. Now to be in the clear about it all. I have done my part in causing the problems, I cause him just as much pain, may be more. The thing is that for a long time I have wanted and did tell him that he was hurting me in so many ways. I became someone I was never, I let things go that I would have never let go. Even a very good friend asked me what I was doing. That I had become a door mat. I shut down and big time and I know I did but I could not help it. All I got was more nasty things when I was opening up, still even. The other thing is I have friends and its online and that's become an issue that I should not have my own friends or at least not on the computer with out him knowing them. We have divorce papers signed but have not done anything yet but it got to that point. I have not had anything that I could say was for me in a long time. Yes we are seeing a doctor for help with the marriage, but we still fight over the same thing
2006-07-11 20:33:15 · 12 answers · asked by lara_wst 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Time to get the judge to sign the papers...Life is to short to be unhappy, find someone that makes you feel whole...Being stepped on is not the way to live.
2006-07-11 20:38:49 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hubby has hurt you senselessly for years to where you one day, became hurt, depressed and RESENTFUL yourself. The misery grew from both--neither one evidently willing to concede and are still fighting--as the signatures are dry on the divorce papers, albeit you both have made a somewhat positive step in seeing a marriage counselor.
I really hate hubby's using your online friends as scapegoats; another outlet for him to voice out further hostilities and resentments.
I don't know you and already, I feel a discolor of sorrow within my feelings; I don't know much further I can say or offer.
Open wide your heart and mind to what the therapist says; ALWAYS be on-table honest with the therapist, too. At least you can then do your fair part to save this marriage. And pray hubby hubby does the same, too.
2006-07-12 03:48:20 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you both have to resolve things, If you are seeing a doctor that is great hopefully both of you can work your issues out. If you became some one that you never were, well that is sometimes what marriage is about, you just got to talk it over with him if it is not who you wanted it to be. As for on line Friends it is good to have friends but in a marriage friends should be mutual and it probably is not a good idea to have on line friends that are only yours just as he shouldn't if he does, get to know these friends that will help build trust between you two if your having problems. Always remember your marriage should be first if it is to be saved.
2006-07-12 03:59:17 · answer #3 · answered by nancy b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did get married for something, your church leader could be of invaluable help. Couples Therapy also works. Meanwhile the fact that you haven't done anthing with the divorce papers means you are still willing to work at it. Pray for God's guidance in this matter. You will be surprised how things will work out.
2006-07-12 04:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by Ycul72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are the most difficult thing in life. You have to ask yourself, what makes you stick around? When you find those things out, then ask yourself, is it worth it?
You might be able to work things out. But, obviously yous can't talk. So you may want to discuss certain things by writing each other letters. That way they are uninterrupted words, and yous can take your time phrasing things the way they need to be so that the other person can understand you.
2006-07-12 03:48:31 · answer #5 · answered by kasar777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I'm in your case try to talk to him and asking him what is the real problem between you and him. Be cool, ask him for a talk you and him alone in a quite place. You know, I do believed if you still love each other you can remodel your relationship, The true and real love no one can separate. Try you best if you really love him
2006-07-12 03:48:37 · answer #6 · answered by truthie0603 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray that you get thru this and find love, understanding, and also trust back in your marriage. Everything happen for a reason but its up to both of you to be strong get past the hump and move on.
2006-07-12 03:40:41 · answer #7 · answered by pepperspray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first have you tried talking to him . you cannot make him change , and you cannot be happy unless you make your self happy . You need to start being your self and start growing leading the way even if he does not agree, he will eventually have to accept it , one way or the other , The only way you can be Happy is if you find it your self. he cannot make you happy nor can you make him happy no matter how much you love each other ,Move forward life is not a rehearsal there is no second chance
2006-07-12 03:45:13 · answer #8 · answered by jac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not like I am in a great Place to answer this but I would divorce him. You say that you already have the papers signed? What I wouldn't give for that luck. If I could already have the papers and not be the bad guy I woud go fir it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-12 03:40:07 · answer #9 · answered by Carrie C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what you have to do is look inside your self and ask are you really happy? And if not can this be resolved? If your still not sure try a trial seperation... Lifes to short not to be happy... Good luck
2006-07-12 03:52:10 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋