I do, do plenty. I work, I clean, I cook, I have helped him raise his 3 kids for the last 6 years. But yet he says I do nothing for him, When really I do alot more than he does. What can I tell him, so that he will see everything that I do, do for him. He doesn't even work and he hasn't had any motivation to go get a job lately. He is a really narrow minded man, I need something really good to tell him, something he will actually listen too.
2006-07-11 18:42:14 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask him to explain to you exactly what he means by "nothing"....I'm willing to bet he doesn't he have a comeback. You'll find that when most men are cornered with the truth, they usually resort to insults and making the woman the scapegoat for whatever is going wrong in their lives.
The problem is he's not working and for whatever reason (depression I suspect) he no longer has any motivation to even try to find a job. As a result of his depression and anger, he is lashing out at you out of frustration. He is very well-aware of all that you have done for him, and right now he is not feeling too manly about any of it...hence his need to belittle you.
You're going to have to try and sit him down and get to the bottom of what is really bothering him. This way, you can begin trying to help him re-build his self-esteem and get him motivated enough to go back out and try to find work.
You already know all of the great things you have done for him through the years, and nothing negative he says is ever going to take that away.
I feel if you can get to the bottom of what is really bothering him.... you can begin to resolve your problems with him.
Good Luck~*
2006-07-11 19:27:15 · answer #1 · answered by DG 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he won't hold a steady job he's just not man enough to stay with. If you are determinded to make it work sit down and make a list of every single thing you do. From washing dishes to picking up his underwear off the bathroom floor. Oh and stop cooking. If he won't cook, cook meals for just you and the kids. He'll get hungry. Clean up only the mess that you and the kids make leave his stuff exactly where it lies even if you have to step over it or on it. Get the classifieds and circle all the jobs that he's qualified for and hand the paper to him. "Here you go, you should check these out" It'll prob work eventually. I saw a guy eat a frozen hot dog once because his wife wouldn't cook for him. But she caved. You have to be persistant if you want it to work. I never had the job problem but I did have a problem with the chores and thats what worked for me.
2006-07-12 02:05:28 · answer #2 · answered by ckpipes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't listen. How do I know this? because he's sitting on his butt doing nothing and the only way he can justify doing nothing is by bringing you down to his level. It doesn't matter how logical, witty or intelligent you argue. It's not going happen.
The trouble with not doing anything in the house in terms of cleaning is that you'll end up with a huge mess and you will be the one cleaning up in the end.
My advice would be for you to go out and get a job. You need to acquire a bit of "power" in that household. The only way you'll get that is by earning your own money. Once you start supporting the household financially, things will change, trust me. Besides, it's good for you in the long run because this marriage is heading into dangerous territory.
2006-07-12 03:27:07 · answer #3 · answered by scubalady01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK he isn't working now so you tell him this...You say I don't do anything , well then I am going to lay around like you do and you do what I do everyday. ...I am very serious.......They think because you are a stay at home mom you don't do anything all day. Or just don't do anything and see how long it takes for him to ask why isn't this done or this done.....Then tell him .Ask him who do you think does all the work around here? If that doesn't do it then leave his sorry ***
2006-07-12 01:52:14 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would go on strike. i've done it before to my husband and the place was a wreck. don't get me wrong i cringed at the thought and we fought really bad (we have 2 kids) but after about a week he caved.
2006-07-12 01:50:13 · answer #5 · answered by origchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT!!!!You raise three kids keep house and he dont have a ******* JOB!!!!!!He is a dis-respectful asshole who is taking you forgranted.I say pack your **** and leave the kids and duties with his lazy ungrateful *** for a week and let him REALLY see and experiance what YOU DO FOR HIM!!!!!!
2006-07-12 02:25:59 · answer #6 · answered by Lenina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband said that ONCE, I hired outside help and said to him now I am going to watch them so I learn how to do SOMETHING ha ha ha, he never said a word again
2006-07-12 02:00:27 · answer #7 · answered by spuds_suds 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him how you do nothing don't do **** for him or the kids. They learn and relize it real fast once the dishes start piling up.
2006-07-12 02:11:58 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he doing nothing that's why he is telling you nothingg........it is adverse effect of the personality...........if he says nothin doing why do you feel that you are not doing anything..........you know very well that who is doing...........just give him love don't insulted him try to convince him and take advice of the family
2006-07-12 01:59:54 · answer #9 · answered by sbacharya_61@yahoo.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on and f*uck a real man.
2006-07-12 01:45:30 · answer #10 · answered by carfever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋