For the past month or so, it seems that MEN, LARGE MEN, have a problem with me regardless of what I am doing. I am not a large guy. I am thick and muscular, with a military haircut and a gotee, and my wife says I look like a bada$$, but still, I do NOT stir trouble, especially with LARGE MEN who could stomp my scrawny @$$. So why do they come at me and start trouble? Hell, I'm 44 years old. Its not like I fit the profile of a fighter or anything. Tonight, I had to push a 6'5" 350 pound Minnesota MONSTER who had just been kicked out of a bar off of me as I stood out front of the Holiday Inn while my business partner was procuring our rooms. I was minding my own business and out of the blue this @$$clown began a full frontal assault. Two weeks ago, a college football player tried to start a fight with me at another hotel I was staying at. A few weeks before that, some 20's something kid took a swing at me. All of this stuff is happening as I mind my own business. WTF?
2006-07-11 17:44:08 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Dude, sometimes you just gotta check the way you look at people. My brother has this very same problem, and it's a form of profiling. Some people just LOOK like they want to brawl, even when they don't. You should learn to smile more. Some people take smiling as a sign of fear, or weakness. But if you are not fearful or weak, that doesn't matter. Smiling (or at least grinning) is a welcoming sign that says you are not a threat.
Another thing is to check your surroundings. If you hang out where people like to fight, then your chances of getting into one increases. If you are minding your own business and some punk comes up to you. Just tell him in a low, even tone that you are minding your business and you don't want any trouble. Sometimes, people just want trouble. And sometimes people just have to get their @$$ kicked. But if you have to work harder than most to be peaceable with your "fellow man," then work harder. It's worth it.
2006-07-11 17:53:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 4⤋
Hey wait a minute-I think I know this 350 pound Minnesota monster!! Hmm..well, maybe not. Too many possibilities-our boys here in Minnesota tend to be thick. For the record, I think your question is quite amusing-it almost sounds like a script from a sitcom! Maybe you were meant to be a writer, you sure have the inspiration! Anyway, I think certain guys look and behave a certain way that makes certain other guys nervous (for whatever reason) and ignites a primal instinct to get up in their face and pound them back down to the scale of everybody else so they can be the king of their "territory". More or less, you are probably signaling-without realizing it-that you're someone to be reckoned with. Try smiling more, laughing, telling jokes, and keep your stance open and loose. I suggest dressing as professionally as possible, be well groomed, get yourself an ipod and sunglasses, and avoid standing around outside by yourself-at least near places notorious for shady people. If all else fails, ask a guy friend of yours if theres something about you that bothers them-and if there is, make an effort to remove-or at least minimize whatever it is that makes you appear threatening. Good luck!
2006-07-11 18:28:41 · answer #2 · answered by laurarae12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha, ha, sorry, I do not mean to laugh at you, but you can't seem
to be able to stay out of trouble. You should not go anywhere without your wife. You must look like either a troublemaker or a
bad $$ and that is why you are picked on. People take so much
crap at work and at home that when they go out , they all want to
call the shots and if they hear or see someone that looks like I
guess you, it seems to set them off. Being with your wife and maybe if you smile more they will leave you alone.
2006-07-11 17:54:17 · answer #3 · answered by nemesis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Genusid00,
You've certainly brought your psychological concerns to the right place! The Y!A community members are fully aware of and do appreciate the intimate conditions involving your prognosis. Most recognized doctors in the field of medicine would employ a holistic approach to your ailment.
Genusid00, please begin your day with a well balanced breakfast to include an ample portion of fruits and grains. After your morning routines are finished, enjoy a brisk walk around the block. If you happen to meet any stray dogs along the way, it would be a good idea to antagonize the creatures in order to add some vigor to your workout.
Now Genusid00, the remaining portions of your day should be filled with interesting activities and new studies to keep your mind active and in balance, complimentary to what you have done with the physical side of yourself.
After loitering around at the public library all afternoon with a bunch of smelly hobos, you can appreciate a warm bath and time to be good to yourself. Begin to collect an archive of various music genres that you can resolve one day to enjoy after you get the rest of your chores done.
Genusid00, if after following my advice, simply take two aspirin and forget we ever had this little discussion.
Thank you, Genusid00. Have a great day!
Dr.Jake
2006-07-11 17:54:13 · answer #4 · answered by Jake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are standing in a location near to where a bar or party is emptying out. There are a lot of stupid and nasty people in areas like that. Better stay in your room when in town or find a better location to hang out.
2006-07-11 17:57:48 · answer #5 · answered by Elwood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut the facial hair, change your hairstyle and get some fake glasses. The MIL look is antagonizing low-lifes and they are taking it out on you.
Change your image or figure out a way to disengage from these walking testosterone spills.
2006-07-11 17:51:48 · answer #6 · answered by Steve D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's an alpha-male, king of the jungle kind of deal. Maybe the combination of alcohol, steroids, summer heat, plus the societal obstacles to asserting one's masculinity, attract men to the rush of attacking someone who looks challenging enough to get the adrenaline flowing but not menacing enough to actually destroy them.
2006-07-11 18:06:22 · answer #7 · answered by klunk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is not the men around you, the problem is the man inside you....Admit you have a problem....seek a therapist........work with him on your issues........and meditate a little about yourself ...........calm down...you will be fine....BE proactive not reactive...
2006-07-11 18:04:22 · answer #8 · answered by nitwit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow what a life you have even if you mind your own business...are they trying to have an affair with you or something
2006-07-11 17:49:02 · answer #9 · answered by Answerer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it's the environments, the locales where you frequent that are the problem. just one possibility.
2006-07-11 17:48:36 · answer #10 · answered by Russell B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋