how do i tell him to quit drinking?

Question

i have asked him several times over the years to quit driking i am finnaly sick of it.. he says he will quit for me, but he refuses to go to AA... and i fell he really really needs it, he is not abusive whne he drinks but he still drinks too much.. I want him to quit drinking but not for me i want him toquit becase he wants to quit.......... so the real question is .. How do i get him to quit for himself??? i am at my ends i amnot happy any more

i am to the point i am thinking seperation might be the best thing for us.

i am to the point i am thinking seperation might be the best thing for us.

Answer 1

It will never happen until he faces the fact he has a problem. You can not do that for him. Unless he can say those words "I am an alcoholic" there will never be help for you and your husband, and you will never be happy.

Answer 2

Are YOU willing to go to Al-anon? If he gets sucked into the program of AA, he'll have new "friends" in the program who will demand that you attend or for him to leave you.

AA is a religious program that many feel uncomfortable attending, in fact, 19 out of every 20 that walk into the rooms, won't be there a year later.

Don't nag, don't plead, have a serious conversation. If you want him to quit, don't tell him how he has to do it, just tell him it's you or the bottle and stick to it.

Answer 3

I will say a prayer for you and your significant other. Sooner or later, something will happen to make you realize that you can't make him stop drinking. You are powerless over that situation, but you do have the power to focus on the fact that YOU are not happy with the situation.

Here's what you CAN do:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

There are meetings all over the world. You owe it to yourself to give it a try; you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Answer 4

You absolutely cannot make him quit. Go to AlAnon and you can learn to deal with this. He has to do it for himself. Sometimes an intervention works, but usually the alcoholic has to hit his own bottom. AlAnon can help you with lots of decisions. I can't really explain it all here, but you must go. AA works, it really does, but you cannot force him to go, so until he gets to where that's the only place left for him, just take care of you. Good Luck, and God Bless.

Answer 5

My husband was the same way once. We talked about it, fought about it, and everything else you could possibly imagine. In the end, he finally quite because he realized he wanted to quit. You really can't push someone to do something, no matter how badly you want it to happen.

Answer 6

He will never stop drinking unless he wants to. You have set up a bad history by nagging for him to drink but still sticking around when he does, so he feels it really does him no harm to continue drinking. Your husband is a functioning alcoholic.

Answer 7

you can't, you've done what you can do. all you can do now is decide you don't want it to be part of your life and move on. he's obviously not going to change so you need to ask yourself whether or not you are willing to live like that, not whether you can change him because the answer to that is absolutely not. the only thing you control is what YOU do about it. its very sad and very hard but its the truth. good luck to you.

Answer 8

well I have been there before and the only way is to cry and tell him that he can die if he carries on and you don't want to be without him.If you have kids tell him that he will not live long enough to see his grand kids,or may the kids graduating.At least he is a passive drunk,it could be worse.
I am afraid that it has to be him to make this decision to stop.try sleeping in another room when h gets drunk

Answer 9

You can not make him quit.
He has to make the decision on his own.
He may not be abusive now but probably will get that way in time, they usually do in one way or another.
Remember only you can make yourself happy.
Good luck to you, if you stay with him you have a rough road ahead.

Answer 10

You can't get him to quit drinking. He has to admit to himself he has a problem and want to quit on his own. You have choices to make too...either you keep enduring this or you don't.