Basically, we have been separated for several months, living apart as I have struggled through all this to make a better life and things between us. Meaning, I have gotten a much better job, given her Money that was due, affection that has been rejected for a long time now, and have been more than fair seeing that we have been apart and or separated. As far as I know and feel in my heart, there is not another man in her life as far as more than friends. Well, the man she is best friends with is gay, I have known him through her for 10 years, but he also lost his boyfriend, maybe I am blinded by my love for her, who knows. Women, how can she truely say she wants me one week, and the next, says sorry, it over. What in the hell is going on. Anyone have advice, tell me.
2006-07-11 16:45:32 · 9 answers · asked by billyboy5529 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if u continue to allow her to use u like a revolving door she will. u need to put your foot down as much as u say u love her. im not doubting her love or yours, but marriage isnt a game or a disrespectful journey. she is challenging you and u r letting her walk all over u like flies on ****. tell her its marriage counseling or nothing she cant keep doing this to your emotions. stay strong. dont let her control the revolving door you need to put a stopper in it
2006-07-11 16:53:35 · answer #1 · answered by natty b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is tough. She sounds to be very mixed up. Having a hard time deciding what her feelings are. There must be something she is holding on to. I am only seeing one side also. (yours) You only know the true reason that you are apart. In your paragraph you mentioned money. That seems to always be a problem in marriages today. There is too much emphasis on money. Why did you two get together? What happened to all the good times? You two need counselling or to sit between you two and discuss all this. If she is confiding in her guy friend, there is some reason she no longer feels like you are her friend. If you feel there is some romantic link between them, then you need to ask her. If it has already been several months that you have been apart, I am assuming you have tried reconciling. Professional councelling may what be needed now. Good Luck.
2006-07-12 00:13:27 · answer #2 · answered by Sail 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you gotta ask yourself some tough questions:
Even if she lets you come back, are you ever going to be able to fully forgive her for the pain she has caused you? Are you ever going to be ever to fully trust that she isn't going to pull something like this again? Do you think you will ever have that blind bond that you had with her before this happened? Are you ever going to be able to fully trust that she wasn't cheating on you? These are tough questions, because, if you do get back together, even though it is deserving, you cannot beat her up, mentally, for the pain she has caused you. Furthermore, you cannot continue to blame yourself and walk on eggshells wondering when the next time she is going to pull this stuff will be.
No one should tell you exactly what to do. You are the one that has to live with the consequences of your decision. You gotta decide how much pain you are willing to deal with. It sounds like you are willing to deal with alot, since you have put up with this extended seperation and her repeated assault on your heart. What is your breaking point? What are her motivations for changing her mind?
Honestly dude, it sounds like she can make whatever decisions she wants without any negative consequences. Why, if she has decided it is over, has she not filed for divorce?
Dude, I know it is hard. I know none of it is logical. This will be the hardest thing to accept, but the most important thing as well, THIS IS NOT ALL YOUR FAULT! I bet she has made you believe it is. I bet you have beaten yourself up inside thinking it is. Trust me, it's not. Are you blindly in love with her or the girl she was whenever you fell in love...the girl she was whenever you developed a life together and all those positive memories that play over and over in your mind? Would the girl you fell in love with do this to you? Remember, women marry men expecting that they will change, men marry men expecting that they won't, and both are dead wrong!
Check out womensinfidelity.com. Its not all about cheating. I am not suggesting your wife is or has. Read the portion taken from the book and some of the posts. It has been a real eye opener for many a man.
Stay up playa. I wish you the best.
2006-07-12 01:22:44 · answer #3 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she enjoys jerking your chain. Ask he what her problem is and tell her that she should just make up her mind. Tell her you see through her games and will no longer play along. Sounds like she may like exerting power over men? Or she may feel that if she takes you back for good you will revert back to the way things were so she keeps things in limbo. Best thing to do is to confront her. Women always think they have the upper hand in the 'communication' department of a relationship, you need to surprise the pants off her by offering to talk about why she is acting the way she is.
2006-07-12 00:02:47 · answer #4 · answered by BlueChimera 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha, man, I think she just doesn't like you anymore or something. I wonder that same **** with the last guy I dated. We were together real well and close and seemed perfect for each other for 6 weeks, and then the last week, it slowly all fell apart and he didn't want me anymore. Or well, he doesn't know what he wants and just doesn't "have time for a relationship right now." I just tell myself I wasn't what he really wanted. But I'm still flabergasted about how it can be so good, and then suddenly vanish that fast.
2006-07-11 23:49:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only speak from my own similar experience. It never worked out in my case, she's long gone. I married somebody that really wanted to be with me, and I've been married to her for 25 years. I think you have to go with somebody like that, where it's mutual. It seems these days there would be many opportunities to find a soul mate. I know this stuff hurts, but if it's any help, most everybody goes through these times. Hope it all works out for you.
2006-07-11 23:56:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes Bi-polar
2006-07-11 23:49:00 · answer #7 · answered by George McFly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF SHE KEEPS GIVING THE OK ONE DAY AND THEN NO THE NEXT IT IS TIME TO LEAVE IT ALONE. I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE. MY WIFE DID THAT TO ME FOR A YEAR AS I WAITED TO GET BACK TOGETHER THEN SHE MOVED TO FLORIDA. GO AHEAD AND HURT ALL AT ONCE INSTEAD OF BEING TREATED LIKE A YO-YO. PEACE BROTHER
2006-07-11 23:53:31 · answer #8 · answered by SIRDUKE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she looking for a new love, when she can't find someone she comes back to you --- stop being available -
2006-07-11 23:50:21 · answer #9 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋