What can I say to make him feel better?

Question

My friend is very dear to my heart, just recently, he went through a very hard divorce. He found a new love to fill his life and when they were starting a new life, things started going wrong. This girl was too wild, and became pregnant. My friend told me just how much this new baby meant to him, how much meaning it would bring into his life. Well, to make matters short, this girl and her wild attitude made her loose their baby. My friend is so devastated, he cries so much- and this is a guy who is hard as stone. He always comes to me for a word of advice and comfort. I love him so much and I would like to give him more comfort, but I can't really talk to him, everytime he comes to me and cries, I end up crying with him. I want to be able to tell him something that can stop his tears because it kills me to see him hurt so much. God knows I've prayed for him to stop suffering, I would give anything to help him feel better.

Answer 1

well, for one thing, don't tell him the famous "don't worry, it'll be okay" and "things happen for a reason and i know that one day you'll be happy because you deserve it" lines, cause we all know that those lines really suck.

so, just tell him that he'll get through this... not because he's strong and not because he's a good guy, but because he needs to. i know that this may sound blunt and harsh, but he needs to get over this and move on. tell him that it's okay to cry, to be sad and miserable, but do it while he's pulling himself and his life back together. he should know that being miserable can't stop him from living.

but the truth is, at his current state none of these will actually help your friend, at least not until he decides to help himself. so for now, just be there for your friend. cry with him and make sure that he doesn't do anything foolish. he's the only one who can decide when he'll move on, so just wait for it. : )

Answer 2

what was he going to tell the baby? your mother was a really wild girl? does he really want to have a baby with that woman? maybe its hard for him, i know but, sometimes is better to forget about the pass and think in the future, how many womans are in the world? villions of them, most of them beautifull,( i say most of them because theres some that are really cold inside, mens to) better having a baby with a good girl and not having one with some prostitute, was he going to stay married with her? with a girl that maybe dosnt even respect him? and if he dosnt then the baby was going to be with her most of the time, growing up maybe learning what she do, did he really want that?

tell him that, its the truth