How do I help raise my self-esteem and learn to not feel so self-conscious about my sexuality?

Question

I really feel ashamed that I am gay. My mom knows and she said that she is 100 percent ok with it. I don't have any opposition of any kind in my family but I still feel so ashamed. I am so afraid of coming out to the world but at the same time, I want to find support groups. I'm just too scared to explore that communtiy. Is there any way I can ease into it and learn to love myself? Is it weird that everyone accepts me, but I don't?

I'm 16 so clubs are out of the question and my mom hate Messanger and Myspace.

Answer 1

I think working up the courage to talk to someone is probably the best and bravest thing you can do at this point. Try to find someone you trust who can then help you find ways to let others know. Or, if you'd prefer, you could go to someone who doesn't know you that well (a counselor or somebody like that). Strangers can often add interesting perspectives since they don't know much about you to begin with. And remember, you don't have to be ashamed of who you are. That will just make it easier for others to bring you down. If you are strong within yourself, then no one can touch you. The world is not always a loving place, but there are always loving people. You just have to find them. Don't worry. I can accept you enough for the both of us until you're ready to do it yourself. Good luck, good life, good love.

Answer 2

Hey, and I'm sorry that you feel this way. I have a low self esteem about this too.

However, just realize that there is nothign to be worried about. You are SO lucky to have parents who support you and like you for who you are. I would give anything to have that. Then again though, my parents don't know I'm gay.

Just remember that you are an awesome person and that people love you no matter what. Don't let the right wing homophobes let you down, because in all reality they are breaking more sins than people who are gay. Just live life. The world is becoming more and more gay friendly, and as many people that may say **** about you.. In all reliaty, that is just one little thought in their head. They really don't care.

I think you feel bad because you think people aren't going to accept you for who you are, but I promise they will. You may loose a friend, but you will also gain a friend. Plus you would be surprised how accepting the world really is.

Good luck, and remember you are not alone. Plenty of people will love you and there is nothing wrong AT ALL with being gay. I know it feels different sometimes, but it's not. Just live life, and love it. :)

You can e-mail me at any time you want. I would also prefer you to check out pflag.. I have never gone but i hear it is great. Also, you should try calling an LGBT hotline.. Just google "LGBT hotlines" and the first result is a really good one.

Good luck. :)

Answer 3

The fact that your Mom is supportive is great. PFLAG is a good place to start. You may need some counseling to help you understand why you feel so badly. They should be able to help you with that as well. Teen years are tough enough without society's pressures about sexuality. You may want to check if there are any other groups for teens in your area. PFLAG is a great start.
A word of caution. There are a lot of pervs on the net looking for a young confused person. Stick with the reputable groups.
Good Luck

Answer 4

The fact that your family has accepted you does not mean that you have not internalized the hatred of other groups that have interacted with you.

I suspect you are shy to begin with, and that hearing people called pansies and queers when you were younger mortified you -- so now you want to avoid that fate.

Reality however, is reality. You are gay. I honestly know that I'm not as good at this part as I should be, because I never suffered disproportionately because of my own homosexuality. But, accept yourself, there is nothing wrong with you -- you are wonderful just the way you are.

If you need to talk, email me.

Reyn
[e-mail]

Answer 5

Take a look around your school and see if there is a gay/straight alliance support group. If not there prehaps the local college has one. Also look for a PFLAG group, they can help you too.

Sinve you mom hates messanger and such, I doubt she will allow you on gay.com. If she will allow you on there you can get on and talk to other young men like yourself. Perhaps meet a couple of them for a movie and start in a safe enviroment, Your home.

Answer 6

You and your mom could go to PFLAG together, there is a chapter in most states, it is for parents and families of lesbians and gays. At 16 most people are overly self conscious in general and often about their sexuality, PFLAG is a way to become part of the community in a safe space and with your mother who seems like she will be a big support.

Answer 7

It can be scary at first, that's why "coming out" is such a big deal because you are not just coming out to your family & friends but yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or straight are all natural things. I would just think about who you are as a person, your sexual and romantic feelings are only one small part of who you are. Yet that small part is important too and you should be proud. You are being true to who you are. Now you can keep going to find out new things in your life and love. As long as you are kind to all living things, you're good. Live life. Plus weird is fun. I like weird.

Here are some helpful links.

Link to find a GLBTQ youth group in your area:
http://www.youthresource.com/about/youth_group.htm

Link about "coming out" to everybody & yourself:
http://www.hrc.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Coming_Out/Get_Informed4/Coming_Out3/Index.htm

Link for family support for GLBT youth:
http://www.pflag.org/Getting_Support-Coming_Out.coming_out.0.html

Link for LOGO, for fun:
http://www.logoonline.com/

Radio with a twist:
http://www.radiowithatwist.com/home/

Answer 8

Its extremely easy to feel self-conscious about anything in today's world. People spend hours getting ready each morning and yet still feel self-conscious about themselves throughout the day.
I don't know how old you are, but for young adults, the YES program is a great way to become confortable with yourself (first link below).
If you're older, healthy place is a great chat room to discuss the everyday trials you feel being homosexual. (second link below).
There are many, MANY support groups across the nation, and I'm sure that you'll be able to find one in your community.
It's great to have outside help to finally feel comfortable in your own skin but always remember, you're you, and that's beautiful.
:)

Answer 9

Just know that you are living as you feel you ought to. If your gay, your gay so pursue it.

Don't be ashamed, be proud that you are willing to tell yourself the truth and experience the pleasure and the love that comes from liberation and honesty.

Many straight or Gay people never do this and thus condemn themselves to a rotten life.

Answer 10

Just think about the good things that happen in your life. Cause I know how you feel I've been there a billion times. Listen no matter who you are or what you are your family will always love and friends will stilll be your friends. Now if they start treating you like crap that means they are not your friends. Family is very inmporant and so is your life. So if you like the way you are and you love yourself so be it.