my boyfriend is white and i am a black female. i have been datin outside my race for years. my current boyfriend is awesome and we are in love. i feel he is the one for me and everybody knows that. all of my friends except her who is suppose to be one of my best friends, had alot of bad things to say about my relationship to my other best friend. why isnt she happy for me like everybody else is? i have no clue what could be goin on. in my past relationships where i was with bad guys that made me unhappy she seemed like she was glad i was with them, but this one time in a long time that i have actually found someone who truely loves me for me, she had so much bad **** to say, and then she throws her 3 year relationship up in my face that she has with her boyfriend. i take personal measures and told my boyfriend about what happened and he told me she isnt really my friend if its like that. could this be race related? but she should be used to me dating white guys by now.
2006-07-11 14:45:46 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She is JEALOUS of you, honey......And maybe she really doesn't like the fact that you date white men......I would just leave her alone for awhile and be happy that you found a man that truly cares for you and you for him....Take care dear.....
2006-07-11 14:48:32 · answer #1 · answered by mizzzzthang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doubt seriously if it's race related cause then you would notice her act like that toward any person who is white and picked up on it long time ago. Usually when a person does this they are just jealous...it's possible her 3 yr relationship may not be all sparks like your newly found relationship. If this isn't the case she may have heard something or know something about you new bf that has clued her in he's no good for you and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you so she's just accepting your relationship but showing her dislike for him. In either case you need to just come out and ask her if she has a reason for not liking him and that it bothers you because you're her friend and you want her to be happy for you and like you bf. And then go from there.
2006-07-11 21:52:56 · answer #2 · answered by missconduct 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a number of things... one, if she is your closest freind, then is it possible she sees something you don't, something the others don't see? On the other hand, she could genuinely feel threatened that you are not going to NEED her anymore if you are in a healthy relationship. When you were unhappy with the other guys, you went to her and she could help by being supportive. Now, where's the need for this kind of support? If this turns out to be the case, sit and talk with her. Tell her you still need her support but that now you are just going to find different ways to do this together. Tell her how she can support you now, how she can still be useful in your life and I'll bet once she sees her usefulness is not all used up, then she may come around and your friendship will be stronger for it. Tell her you are growing and you want your friendship to continue to grow with it. Even if you don't find this to be true for sure, still, talk to her like this anyway. I am guessing you'll see a difference in her back biting and you can get on with your freindship without confronting her insecurity with you. No need to shame her for being weak. If you want her to accept you, you've got to accept her as is, too. If she didn't get bent about your past crackers in bed, (haha) then this is not the issue. It's something else. Good luck.
2006-07-11 21:56:48 · answer #3 · answered by ariasonota 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend like that. She was my friend since grade school and I just recently stopped talking to her. So I can tell you, she is just jealous that you and your man are head over heels for each other. She isn't happy in her relationship and is jealous cause you are. I always told myself I would never ditch my girls for a guy- that was when I was dating. Now that I'm married and she was still talking **** about my husband or rolling her eyes at the mere mention of him, she crossed the line. I vowed to be with him for the rest of our lives and I take that seriously. I never vowed that with her so she hit the road. Your situation is a little different...talk to her and tell her your concerns and ask her if she doesnt like him because of the race thing. Tell her that you dont want to lose her or your man and that if she really cares for you then she will quit with her attitude. If that doesn't work...he's right, she's not your friend.
2006-07-11 21:53:25 · answer #4 · answered by mamajoven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are happy with your new boyfriend, then just enjoy your relationship with him and don't make a big deal out of what she has said or what you think she feels. If she is truely your friend, she will come to grips with your choice of boyfriend and find a way she can deal with it, so that she can remain your friend.
She doesn't have to like who you pick, but to keep you as a friend she has to have time to figure out how to deal with the situation, because there will be times you'll be with him and she has to be comfortable with the two of you. If you care about your friendship with her, you must allow her some space and time.
2006-07-11 21:55:17 · answer #5 · answered by sunflower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's rather immature of her. If you are happy, she should be too. I would probably say that to her if I were you. "Why are you so unhappy that I'm happy?" Only she knows the real reason. If it is race related then that is extremely low of her and I would consider not being her friend for a while till she becomes more mature about it.
Are you sure she's not jealous of you (after all, you said she was happy when you were dating losers.. hmmm...)?
2006-07-11 21:49:21 · answer #6 · answered by blueskies7890 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it is race related...but if she was happy when you were with bad guys it sounds to me like she is jealous. Sometimes when good things happen for you does she seem sad that it happened to you and not her? I really think that maybe she isn't so happy in her relationship if she is upset that your in a good healthy happy one. If she was truely a good friend she would put her jealousy or prejudices aside and support you...if she isn't doing that i would distance myself because people with negative vibes are draining to be around. Don't let her ruin your good thing with her bad attitude.
2006-07-11 21:53:20 · answer #7 · answered by sammigirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Race its not important to me but its very important for lots of people even when they do not say it. I am a female happily married from South America and I have been traveling with my family for many yrs. in 15 different countries and I have found very good friends as well as very dangerous and mean people. The gelousy and competinions amoun women can be very disturbing..whatch out and stay far away from people who do not mean well...Life is too short to waiste it...About your friend do not give it a thought..... good luck!!!
2006-07-11 21:58:20 · answer #8 · answered by Jacqueline K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same thing happened to me and my best friend in the end told me that she was afraid of losing me that i would not hang out with her as much or i would change into someone else that is all and once i showed her that it would not happen she actually supported me and liked my boyfriend good luck
2006-07-11 21:48:51 · answer #9 · answered by skits 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a good friend will come right out and voice her concerns for you (like she did ) no beating around the bush , and once she knows you had heard her , she will drop it . Because its your life she gave you her opinion and every one has one , don't gotta agree with everyone . Yet if she keeps on and on about it, then maybe , just maybe she is jealous and doesn't want to see you happy like you said .
2006-07-11 21:53:07 · answer #10 · answered by insertstrawhere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know if it's jealous honey, but it sounds like it's either that or she just doesn't like it when you're dating white men... Heck, i'm dating a black man for the first time and all my friends seems to not like the idea... Either she accepts it, or she leaves... In the end, it's your choice! Good luck!
2006-07-11 21:52:43 · answer #11 · answered by jcarriere007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋