What would you do if your husband thinks you've cheated, and you haven't?

Question

I haven't been honest about a few things. HOWEVER, no infidelities have been committed. No matter what is said to my husband, he believes that I am an adulterer. He has totally turned around some situations and is making me look and sound awful!! He has even gone so far as to say I'm not a good mother. However, I seem to be the only one that is available to care for our 2 kids. What should I do?? I refuse to grovel and apologize for actions I am not guilty of. I am willing to take responsibility for the stupid mistakes I have made. Keep in mind we have two small children!

Answer 1

I think you should go on a talk show and get a lie detector test done to prove to him... if you dont want to do that then i suggest something like marriage counselling because he really needs to sort his trust issues out.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do :)

Answer 2

1) Don't even dare grovel and apologize, if you've done nothing wrong.
2) One thing you have to remember about men is that we're a bunch of idiots. There's no denying that. The fact that you're husband is playing that game where he's acting like a baby tells me that he's a bigger idiot if he says things like you're a bad mother when you know you're not. What do you do in situations like this. Well you can't do anything. Why? cause like I said before men are idiots and we're afraid of losing that battle to a woman. We always have to be right about things, frankly I think thats the stupidist thing ever, but thats the way we think and I'm sorry that we do that. But in your case with the two kids involved I would say this.
If your husband loves you then a civilzed conversation would suffice. If all he does is B**** and complain then you need to ask yourself why does he bring this up all the time? What is he hiding from you? Obviously he's out to make you look bad for a reason and for that you need to find out on your own. Dig deep. Hope that helps you out.

Answer 3

Makes me wonder if he cheated and feels guilty like trying to get you to say you did so he doesnt feel guilty. No marriage is perfect but it does sound like there are a lot of trust issues. As far as the kids...leave them out of this. If you two cant kiss and make up and move on then maybe there needs to be a seperation. Everyone has done something stupid so he just needs to get over it and move on. Are you doing anything to imply that you have cheated? If not then it sounds like he has major trust issues and thats going to ruin your marriage..maybe get some counseling.

Answer 4

Stay with the freak but know full well that he has cheated or is cheating on you right now mean are soooooo predictable raise your children do what your supposed to do be where your supposed to be when your supposed to be there eventually he'll see thats hes insane also I would accuse him of cheating ( and not in front of the children) check his phone, pockets & car for evidence I know this sounds horrible but the only way to get him off your back is to turn the table dont hawk him about it just say maybe it you cheating and leave it out there just out there in the universe if he is trust me he will show it

Answer 5

First let me ask what things haven't you"been honest about?" What do you consider cheating? Kissing, sex? Do you know if you're sharing your heart and worries with another ,that's a form of cheating. Think of this: Anything you would not do in front of your spouse, Is cheating... Now that's said, If you're truly faithful in ALL ways, then you have to examine your HUSBAND. My ex used to accuse me all the time too. He was extremely jealous. But I was NEVER unfaithful...but low and behold...he was throughout our marriage(unbeknown to me) Remember the old saying" Me thinks he does protest too much"... I hope for your sake I'm wrong. But even if I am, his behavior isn't healthy and you need to examine that for your sake as well as your small children. Be safe. Be smart . And Best of luck.

Answer 6

Take the direct approach. Go to him, and tell him plainly that you have not cheated, that you are trustworthy, and reaffirm in him his ability to trust you by doin WHATEVER it takes, no matter how long it takes, to make sure he is secure in trusting you. If it is possible for him to have doubts, then you have clearly been in situations for him to doubt. Maybe you hang around male friends too often? Men he doesnt know? You might have to cut some people off to make hubby happy (even female friends). Once the trust is gone...whats left? As for you being the only one available to your two kids, you just be sure you are always there for them. And voice you concerns to hubby rationally, and calmly once. Give him the opportunity to hear you, by not yellin at him or fussing about it. It might take timfor him to realize you are right, but eventually all men do come around to learning the lesson that wifey is always right.

Answer 7

You sit down and talk to him. Tell him the truth about EVERYTHING and make sure he understands that that will be the final time you speak of it. Tell him that he knows you are a good mother and you will not listen to that crap any longer either. If he insists on continuing with the emotional abuse, get away from him for your own good and the good of your children. Believe it or not, staying in a relationship like that is not good for your children, so don't use the excuse that you would leave except for the children.

Answer 8

I can relate to your problem. My husband is always telling me the same thing. The only advice I can give you that will really work is to pray on it. In some cases, the one pointing the finger is the one do the dirt. Take a long look at his behavior and see if maybe the guilty party is trying to justify his actions.

Answer 9

Take him to Maury and give him a lie-detector test. haha Sorry, I couldn't resist.

You admit, you've lied in the past. So, he obviously is going to have trust issues with you. You have to give him a reason to believe you that you are not cheating on him. Maybe he has a guilty conscience... and he's cheating on you. Accuse him of cheating and see what happens. hehe. Maybe that's bad advice. I don't know!! Leave him for a week and say its because he doesn't trust you and you can't be with someone who doesn't trust you!!

Good luck!!

Answer 10

I agree with people who accuse people of cheating are usually guilty themselves. I'm in the process of getting of divorce because of trust issues like this. He accused me multiple times during our 2yrs of marriage. We haven't been separated long( 2 wks) and I've found out he has posted his name on a dating website..saying hes divorced/separated..Talk about moving on!! Trust is the most important thing in ANY relationship and if someone can't trust you..then well sometimes you have to move on especially if you've been in the relationship awhile. Trust is earned not given! If you've earned then it should be respected.