I’m in love with two men, and it is growing ever impossible to pick which one I should be with. The two of them are great to me, but no one can seem to help me out on this, not even the people that would seem like they have the answers.
The first one is Chris. He has a beautiful kid, who is two, and says that one day when we both are on our feet, that he would like for me to be the mother figure to his child. Sure, that’s what I want, because sometimes I think that living that lifestyle will calm me down from my wildin’ out days. He wants me to be with him for the rest of his life because he says that I am the only girlfriend he has had that has actually treated him good. He treats me like a queen, and gives me everything I want, even though I’m not used to such riches. I’ve always been dirt poor.
On the other hand, there is Chino. Chino and I have dated once before, and all people could say was how right we are for each other. They used to tell me that I was the female version of him. I ****** up on him, but he took me back. We were young then anyway. Chino is poor himself. I didn’t want to be with someone who couldn’t support me, so he went and found himself a small time job with good pay, and he says that he is willing to work forever to keep me. Chino likes everything that I do as far as interests and goals, and we both want to move to the same place in the world because of culture. I’m so into culture and life, but Chris isn’t. Chris is all about being a family man, since he’s already had his fun in his days. The both of them are literally begging for me, and that sucks. I cant make up my mind and its driving me nuts….Please help!
2006-07-11 13:55:23 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd pick Chino.If Chris isn't a family man how can he care for his kid.And Chino is doing all he can for you.And instead of being a mother to a 2year old kid you should have your own instead of one day the real mother wants custody.And if Chino likes culture and you like culture your perfect for each other.If you get too carried away on witch guy to pick you should not pick either one stay single for a few weeks then look for a new man.But follow your heart.What does it tell you to do.What will make you happy.Ask yourself.Do what you think is right.I hope it works out for the best.GOOD LUCK!!!!HOPE THIS HELPS!!!!!
2006-07-11 14:09:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are done being wild and want to start the family life go with Chris. He sounds like he has his stuff together. Chino sounds like he's still trying to find himself. He just got a small time job to show you he's responsible. How long will that last? Say you go with chino...then he quits his job? so then you are supporting him. I'd go with chris if thats what you want. he sounds like the better choice.
2006-07-11 21:23:19 · answer #2 · answered by evie_cooper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a break from both of them--not long, just like a week or two. You can't have them both, and, the truth of the matter is, their competition with each other is partly what is driving their desire for you.
While you take the break, decide what you want from YOUR life. Make a list, even if it is only in your head. You are an individual, and as much as you love these guys, you have to be youreslf on a big level. Anyway, after you decide what you want, pick the guy that will work with you to get your goals, and whom you will work with to get to his.
Good luck. :)
2006-07-11 21:00:46 · answer #3 · answered by Amber E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've already made up your mind. Chino mirrors you well. You don't sound like you are ready to settle down and do the Mother figure thing. Who knows? You and Chino can grow up together. Chris is already grown and has his priorities. You are just developing yours. It's never wrong to want to care for someone who needs it, but don't sacrifice your happiness or someone elses, just to do the "socially" right thing.
2006-07-11 21:01:24 · answer #4 · answered by erlifesaver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG this is so simple I'm surprised no one was able to solve this for you already.
here goes...
if both had the same amount of money, who would you rather be with?.......
There's your answer.
It's quite obvious you're hung up on $$, and that's never a good reason to enter a long term relationship for. People go from Poors to riches and back to poors all the time. Don't be a gold-digger that stays with men just because of how deep their pockets are.
2006-07-11 23:19:42 · answer #5 · answered by BlueChimera 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow I have been here. There is only one way to chose. Youhave to chose the life that is yours. Chris is offering a life as a mom and family. thats a role. Chino wants to be with you. You have to chose a life of your own and which guy will share it with you. You can't always be happy living for someone else. Live for you. share it with a great guy.
2006-07-11 21:07:09 · answer #6 · answered by Lazink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you really, truly passionate about both of them? Or is there one that you secretly know you are more passionate about?
Do they both share your values?
Do they both share your values on finances? I mean, you don't want a guy that is giving you everything, but is actually going into debt for it and could land you in bankruptcy...
Are they both responsible with their money?
I hate to ask so many money questions and on the surface it may sound shallow, but reality is that money issues have broken up many marriages and it is a BIG plus to know that you are on the same page before getting hitched.
How do each of them feel about roles within the family?? Do you agree more with one than the other??
There are a lot of questions to ask yourself... and only you can answer.
2006-07-11 21:05:19 · answer #7 · answered by Meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
point blank questions for you to ask yourself.....\
1. im having problems deciding between two guys if i choose the one with a child could i potentially hurt this child if i realize later that i made the wrong decision.
2. chino may be great and fun but, did he actually fulfill his aperations to be somone one , ie college, living location. its hard to be auto geographical with an ok salary and no real carreer.
3. do i really expect i will always be treated like a queen especially when this child is his center stage?
i hope you make the greatest decision in your life with the greatest outcome for you, but please dont regrett anything if you choose to be a mommy for the rest of your life, becuase if he is a "real" man even the smallest decisions are magnified when it comes to his child. please dont hurt the child..... think.
2006-07-11 21:22:46 · answer #8 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love Chino. Read your ? again. All the way through. You have made your decision. You probably just don't want to hurt Chris.
2006-07-11 21:08:50 · answer #9 · answered by hello 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to look beyond yourself on this question...you are cheating on both of these guys. You are treating both of them badly because of that. Chris has a child that is probably already grown attached to you. YOU NEED TO END BOTH RELATIONSHIPS immediately. Stop dating for a while. One day you will meet 1 man who you want to be with solely. Stop playing these guys and let them go.
2006-07-11 21:07:17 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋