Should i believe the ex???

Question

My fiance's ex wife (childs mother) called me today, partly to let me know that his 9yrdaughter no longer wants to speak to him or have anything to do with him.(she's upset about our engagement) Also to inform me of some inappropriate things that have been said and attempted by him towards her(the mother). She mentioned a few things that she feels might start a fight between us (which isnt what she wants) but feel its necassary i know what is said when i am not around, ex. that he told the child he would leave me to marry her if she would take him back. he's mentioned the conversations and made it sound as if she wanted him back, pretty much vise versa, now i told her i would much rather have her say all this with him on the phone, which she agreed to later on today....of course i already know his reaction will be deffensive and denial as to what she is saying but what do i look out for from both to determine who is telling me the truth, especially when i am about to marry him

Answer 1

lol.. Ok.. maybe she's telling the truth.. MAYBE....but i doubt it.. im not only an x wife myself, but im also a 2nd wife to my current husband so i know what its like to be on both sides of the coin.. I've neverrrrrrrr called my x husbands wives (he's now been married two times since me) and tried to rock the boat so to speak although i have plenty of ammo to do it.. now his 2nd wife use to call "ME" and ask me questions and i never lied or embelished just told her the truth ...but always found it so odd her calling me but i also used it to my own advantage to find out any needed info on him i could possibly use at a later time and date... Now in my current situation.. my husbands x wife is one of those people that didnt want their husband, but doesnt want anyone else to want him either, the thought of him being happy and not at her beck and call drives her insane at times.. she wants to be queen bee because simply she is the mother of his children.. So be very careful of what her agenda is by doing this.. what is she getting out of this???hummm??? And how pathetic using the child to yank on your heart strings of why u shouldnt marry him.. lol.. Im sure she was very nice, tried saying things like im not trying to come between u, or im not trying to cause you any problems.. or possibly im just trying to warn u .. ect ect.. Has your man ever given u reason to suspect what she's saying is true?? I wouldnt buy into it as much as u seem to be.. women are very manipulative and conieving when we want to be.. If your happy with ur man and u believe in his love for you, dont let any woman try to come between that especially an x.. its one thing if she was warning you that he was a huge cheater, or abuser or something extremely damaging that could cause u great deal of harm.. but she wasnt, she was letting u know that he supposively still wants her and his family and ur supposively the only obstical in the way of that... sounds more to me that she is the one persuing him, and not visa versa.. If he was such a pain in her side of wanting her back.. he wouldnt of asked to marry u.. he'd still be waiting on her to wake up and come back to him..

Answer 2

So this is what I think. I believe that she is definitely upset with the fact that he has moved on. I bet she thought he was always gonna run back to her whenever she called. So now that she knows he is gone she is pissed. She is gonna use anything she can to try to start a fight between you to. She is even gonna go as low as to use there daughter. Don't believe everything she says. Use your good judgment and take what you need out of those conversations with her. Don't listen to the repetitive stuff, those are just lies. Also have a talk with him and make sure he is completely and 100% done with her. And that there relationship is nothing more than them just being civil to one another for the sake of there child. Your heart will lead you in the direction you need to go. Just whatever you do WAIT!!!!

Answer 3

If I were you, I would call the wedding off all together and wait until this family has everything resolved. (they are still a family in a sense because they have a daughter together) It's only going to get worse as time goes on if you marry him. I really don't feel his ex wife should be calling you, but that's my opinion. Your getting stuck in the middle and that's not a good place to be. Like I said, I would postpone your wedding for awhile.

Answer 4

Of course u shouldn't listen 2 the ex if he is engaged to u than all she's trying to do is run u off so she can have him to I think you should just say 4 get her cause if u didn't actually hear all the words come out of his mouth than u have nothing to worry about. So don't worry your self about her cause she is going to constantly try to break you two up all you have to do is stay strong in a situation like tis don't let her get the best of u.

Answer 5

My Gosh, I can relate to everything you're saying.
When my husband and I got together, his ex-wife did everything in her power to break us up. She even took the child support that he paid and hired a private investigator to look into my background! Of course she looked like a fool, because she found nothing, but my husband was furious that she spent the child support on that! She also tried to say that my two step-kids were upset about our engagement, and that was so untrue. Those kids love me and it just pissed her off! This crazy woman even tracked down my ex and tried to talk him into calling me and so we could hook back up! He did call me, but it's because we were still friends and he wanted to tip me off about what she was doing! When all else failed, she also tried to say that he wanted to get back together with her. ( He is in the Navy and had just moved from overseas to Virginia when he and I met. His ex lived in Florida, and he had seen her six times since he had been back in the States. All six times I was with him, and it was just us picking the kids up or dropping them off! ) All I know is he had given me no reason to think he still had any feelings for her, or that he would ever want her back. She, on the other hand, proved to me that she was distrustful and crazy with all her detective hiring and calling my exes! If your fiancee has done nothing to make you believe anything she is saying, then consider the source! It's his ex!!!! I would go a step further, and tell her that you want to confront him in front of her, not on the phone. You're going to be able to tell who is lying to you, and I really have a feeling in this case it's her!

Answer 6

first of all i wouldn't trust the ex. it might be a set up for a disaster. waiting to happen. just go and live your life if this is what you want. watch your back. i been their,done it. why is the child being in the middle of this anyway? its should between the adults only. this women is piss off because you have him and she don't. she will do anything to cause trouble. between you both. even used the children. to get between the both of you. He should be a man and put her in her place, and tell the ***** to back off. or else.

Answer 7

seriously don't listen to an ex. she's the psycho and you'll be happy to know it only get's worse being married to him.

Trust me. find someone without baggage and you've found a great liar.

Answer 8

Whooaah! Either his ex is winding you up .....she is jealous or wants him back.....or he is all of what she says. I would find out before the wedding. You can always delay it.........better than being sorry later? Best of luck!

Answer 9

Look this is the second question stating your lack of trust in your fiancee. If there isn't trust in a relationship there isn't anything. You are not ready for this.

Answer 10

Women dont like it when someone wants something they threw away. Get use to it until she find a man of her own.