wife cheats 3 times, should you try to work it out for the kids???

Question

Wife has made plans with three other men behind your back, atleast thats how many time she's been caught.

once stayed with ex over night (pretended it was family busines), made plans with a another guy from canada to meet him 5 hrs away on his side of the border, and slept with another while she was pregnant with your child..

Do you try to work it out for the kids or just say screw it and let the kids deal with the Consequences?

Answer 1

If you both love each other and she's a decent mom, stay with her, I say. So what she screws around? If you think about it in an erotic sort of way, you both may benefit from this new relationship and she will no doubt be honest and more open with you. Drop the negative thoughts about it and concentrate on the positive. If you're happy when she's happy, then let her enjoy herself! Don't let society pull a guilt trip on you. You have nothing to lose if you try this and a whole new world if you do. If you fight it, you're guaranteed to lose everything.

Answer 2

Well So many people are going through just what you are now, I AM SO SORRY YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS, I was once hurt by my Ex-Husband that's right I said EX and we have a son together he is 16 now at that time he was only 5 maybe 6 anyways I did not Stay for the kid and it was very Hard for me Money wise but I had my peace of mind which was/is so important, But the Kids are more important because they tend to suffer the most. if you can stay with her without any fighting/cursing each other out she never makes you feel like you want to GO UP SIDE HER HEAD then stay, But if it's the opposite LEAVE BECAUSE THIS WOULD NOT BE GOOD FOR THE KIDS, As a child that's all my Parents did FUSS/FIGHT and this does have an affect on the child as they grow up in the long run. But always remember this: WHEN THE DOG BITES YOU ONCE IT'S THE DOGS FAULT, BUT WHEN HE(dog) BITES YOU TWICE IT'S YOUR FAULT, And old girlfriend told me that when I was going through my divorce I really wanted to try and save a marriage that was not worth saving I did everything but we all know it takes two. Now that I went on with my Life stayed single 11-13 years later I HAVE MET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT MY SON ADORES AND HE LOVES MY SON AS IF HE WAS HE'S Biological Father and that is that. WISH YOU WELL but you really need to start LOVING YOU. Because she want stop this kinda mess PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN GROW A BACK BONE.

Answer 3

I don't think anyone deserves that kind of treatment from their spouse. It's time to get out! I understand the consequences that divorce has on children, but observing daddy and mommy having a bad marriage can also affect a child. Kids are a lot smarter then we give them credit for, and they know when a parent is unhappy.
They don't need to know the reason mom and dad are splitting up. They're kids and it's not their problem! They just need to be told that this sometimes happens to families, that they are still loved by both parents, but mom and dad can no longer live together.
Unless the mother has done something to actually hurt the children, she should still be part of their lives. A bad wife doesn't necessarily equal a bad mother.

Answer 4

Walk away!!! In some states you can file for custody of the kids if you can prove she is an unfit mother. Sounds to me you have a good case but I would not stay with her. Once a cheater always a cheater and next time she might bring something home you might catch. Like STD!! I had this happen to me in 2 different marriages and I walk away. I still see my kids on a regular basis and my oldest daughter `s mother is still doing this after 17 years. My daughter told her off the other day and told her she didn`t want her kids to grow up like her. What goes around comes around!! I would get the hell out of there and let her do it on her own!!

Answer 5

Do you love her anymore, do you care about her, do you want to stay with her, do you trust her anymore, can you forgive her? If the answer to all of them are no, then don't stay for the kids. Kids are bright. They know when something is going on. They will be able to see that the two of you don't get along or have a good marriage. It's rough on kids, divorce, but staying in a marriage that you don't want to be in is hard on them too. There shouldn't be consequences for your kids though. They didn't do anything wrong, so they shouldn't be the ones to pay for any of this. Make sure they know this, that you love them and want the best for them.

Answer 6

If there is no trust and no mutual respect for each other, you can't make it work. Looks like it's over.

Basically, if you are still having the occasional "exchange" with your wife, then she is opening both you and her up to STDs, and other problems by cheating with strangers.

Divorce is never easy or painless, so you do need to think about the care of the kids, but it seems that if you cant be together taking care of the kids, then you are better off removing yourself from the relationship, so you don't get any more hurt.

I'm hoping things get better for you soon.

Answer 7

You have already done far more than the average guy would have even thought about doing. What she is doing to your esteem,is beyond believe. Petition the court for immediate divorce on grounds of unusual mental cruelty with a mental problem, and most of seek protective custody of your children with the understanding that you fear for their lives as you know not what type of men shes bringing into the house and subjecting the kids to. Men like you dont need this crap nor do your children. Its definitely time to get out and move on even for the sake of your kids. There is a better world out there, you just have to want it, good luck

Answer 8

Before I say anything else I think you should know that your question makes me extremely happy- that you even thought about putting the children above yourself shows what kind of man you are and I would be proud to know you.

I believe you should work it out for the sake of the kids although opinions may differ as to how one should deal with the situation. I myself would just say screw it and go with an open relationship. I would suggest having a talk with her, explaining your concerns and lay a few ground-rules that she can follow if she can't follow the traditional rules of marriage.

Just my opinion mind you but the first rule should be that none of the men she decides to sleep with ever be brought to the house. The second being that none of these men ever has anything to do with nor has contact with the children. At all costs avoid letting the children know anything about what is going on or the difficulties in the marriage- regardless of what they are. No argueing, no yelling, no nothing.

I am the product of divorce and resent my parents deeply. I haven't spoken to either of them for a number of years as a result of it.

You yourself should be allowed to do the same by the same rules.

It's either this or a marriage counsellor and they aren't cheap. They rarely work but of course, putting your children ahead of all else -it's always an option.

If your wife isn't completely selfish she should consider the wellbeing of the children as well and explore marriage counselling or accept the open relationship option before divorce and joint custody.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry and hope things work out. You deserve better and I wish I had had a father with a conscience like yours.

Answer 9

I feel your pain buddy...
My experience was almost the same(3X too) as yours but one she cheated on me with was a girl ( she taught she was lesbian)..
when I got separated with her she took my kids and paid her child support..I only saw my kids on the weekends and that hurted me a lot.. My kids was complaining to me (about the time spent with me) and I couldn't do anything about it..It was that bad that I could only sleep 2 to 4 hrs a day.I had nightmares about the well being of my kids.. This went on for 2 to 3 years..Finally, my ex wife F up and let her other husband hit my kids ..I got DCFS involved ..And now i have my kids and damn happy about it.

TO answer your question
I would stick it out for the better of the kids.Your kids will respect you more in the future and know that you are a great dad..
It's not about you or your wife anymore.
IT'S ABOUT THE LITTLE ONES..
GOOD LUCK AND BEST WISHES

Answer 10

Personally I feel that you can still be there for your children with or without your wife. If she has cheated 3 different times that you know of what makes you think she's going to stop. While she's out there sleeping around she's not giving a damn about her children nor her husband. And besides there are to many diseases floating around out there. And then just think to yourself for a minute: If you had been caught cheating 3 times what would she do.