Another Filipina here. Although I am very much married now with my husband for one year, we started a little slow. My husband flew to the Philippines with his fear of flying and made 3 trips without getting laid. Although this may sound unbelievable, we stayed together in a hotel room for 1 week and did things but we never did "it." I am not the typical filipina who is shy, reserved, and inhibited although I didn't like the idea of throwing myself to someone that I haven't met yet. So we did a lot of talking and got to know each other a little bit more. One trip wasn't enough. I was kind of observing him how to treat people in my country and lucky enough, he was very respectful and wanting to learn more about the Philippines.
Also, although many people here would tease you or make fun or you for calling your girlfriend "your fiancee," I think that's sweet and only proves that your intention is sincere. However, be wise enough to tell which is fantasy and which is not. I would like to tell you that being in an interracial relationship (particularly brown and white race), there's this misconception that you should be aware of and that is-- the green card marriage. Sometimes people can be mean and accuse of these women that they only want "white" men (or foreigners) because that's the easiest way out from poverty. What they do not know is that many women are being abused abroad by their foreign spouses. Very tragic but I believe I can say that good and bad people are everywhere... Goodluck to your trip and hope you have a great time!
2006-07-12 13:01:56
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answer #1
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answered by RERUNS 2
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I had an internet relationship with a girl from Indonesia, and I flew to meet her after 3 years. We got engaged, I dragged her to the US and we got married a little more than a year ago.
My advice for that first night is TAKE IT EASY, ROMEO!! You've never met this person and, even though you may have talked on the phone, her voice will be strange. And even though you may have seen her picture, seeing her face will be strange. It took me the better part of a week just to get used to seeing her and being with her.
Nothing was as surreal and disorienting as looking on my love that first time. I knew her, but she was unfamiliar. Because of that, my advice for the first night is to get comfortable and make sure she is, too. You have a lot yet to overcome.
2006-07-11 12:29:36
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answer #2
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answered by Netchelandorious 3
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It doesn't matter how you met or what the arrangements were, you have answered your own question. She is your fiancee, not your wife, at least not yet. You should be respectful of her. Do not take advantage, but rather save yourself (and her) for your marriage night. Not only will this bring to your fiancee a bigger respect for you, it will create a lasting impression of you being the man and making the right choice when it comes to marriage. Best wishes =)
2006-07-11 12:20:35
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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I'm guessing this is an arranged marriage.
I urge you to do a few things:
1) Let her do most of the talking.
2) Ask her questions.
3) Make some eye contact.
4) Compliment her at least once during your first meeting.
5) BE YOURSELF! Don't act like anyone but yourself. Be genuine and try and relax! You don't have to impress her too much. JUst enough so she is willing to see you again.
GOOD LUCK!
2006-07-11 12:20:54
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answer #4
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answered by cruachanmusic 3
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If you are going to be together ALONE before you are married, then you are either lying about this whole question, or you have absolutely no idea how arranged marriages work.
You would NOT be allowed to be alone with you fiance for at least 60 days---in the culture that requires the LEAST amount of time prior to marriage.
Then you would have a marriage ceremony before ever being allowed to be alone with her without supervision.
Nice try....but that won't work.
2006-07-11 12:20:02
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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Well, I don't know if this is an arranged marriage, but that's how it sounds. Every girl is different, but I would say treat her nice, you said it yourself-give her what she wants- If she wants you to go all the way, go ahead... If all she wants is to know you and how you are, open up to her, if you are going to marry her, it can't hurt to get to know each other. Don't force her or make her feel obligated to do anything that she does not want to. BUT, most importantly, LISTEN carefully to what she sais, don't ignore her requests and desires, AND open your heart to her... If this is the person that you'll spend the rest of your life with, better start with the right foot. Be yourself, be nice, compliment...
2006-07-11 12:28:38
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answer #6
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answered by Magy G 3
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I am a Filipina and I know you are not referring to an arranged marriage. If you are really serious about marrying this girl, I suggest you start the marriage right, at least by Filipino standard, and that means, not pre-empting the "wedding night." She will respect you for that and that will go a long way in her book. Goodluck.
2006-07-12 01:05:27
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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You seem like you are very sincere with her, so my suggestion is, keep your snake in your pants. :p Seriously, since you're going to propose and all, why not wait a few more weeks? Or months? Wouldn't it be more special to have your first night together on your honeymoon? That's a rare occurrence nowadays.
Wish the best for you two. :)
2006-07-11 20:48:59
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answer #8
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answered by Laika 4
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wats the question?? all u rote was we might be alone together that first night, shes... how am i supposed to answer that????
oh nvm u finished the question. yes make a move shes ur fiance but dont be too aggressive. Start off slow
2006-07-11 12:18:17
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answer #9
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answered by rye2 1
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well, good luck on your plan. when you do propose, just be honest, and be yourself.
i know you meant well, this is your agenda, just don't let others influence you on your purpose. others who makes sly remarks about your situation is not aware how you truly feel.
i've been in that predicament, i used to have many pen friends while im attending university and they wanted to meet me while im in the pines. my mom is very strict and you could have imagine, im an only girl so she is very protective. that is how filipino mom acts towards meeting their daughter's friends, so in your case, once you are there, respect her and her family to the fullest. don't forget to see the church of holy infant and the basilica of cebu. you will be rewarded of how hospitable filipino people, they will be your friends for life.
2006-07-11 18:00:21
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answer #10
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answered by salome 5
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