How does.......?

Question

a mother get her kids after a split-up?
If she doesn't make a lot of money and doesn't have any kind of support from family or anyone.
My ex and I are going through a divorce, and originally I was going to let them primarily live with him (but we would have joint custody).
He makes OVER double what I do.

But I don't want this now.
I need my boys.

I can barely make it on my own.
This is the only reason why I would let them live with him so they could have a better life.


He has a lawyer, I don't.
I just applied for state legal aid, but is it any good?
I live in Kansas.

Answer 1

I practiced law in Kansas for 12 years before moving to Oklahoma. I was one of those trial attorneys who would cut your heart out and laugh when you bleed. I refused to lose... I did pro bono (free) work, and handled divorces for legal aid at $150 a pop. So yes, some of those attorneys are pretty damn sharp. Some are just starting out... little experience, but have something to prove.

To ease your mind, we did a statistical study of child custody in Kansas. In contested cases, where both mom and dad actively sought custody, the dad's chances were only 1 in 10. Short of being "unfit" (a very hard thing to prove), the dad had almost no chance of success if the mother wanted custody. Your hubby has a VERY hard row to hoe to take custody from you.

As for your finances, that's what child support and maintenance (alimony) are for. He makes twice what you do... fine. Take your share. Take the kids and make him support them.

If you can't get legal aid, find a lawyer to file the papers. Then ask the court to make your hubby pay your lawyer. (Yes, you can do that. We did it all the time.) Hubby stops playing legal games when he's paying both lawyer's bills...

One last little tidbit... trial attorneys hate to lose. We absolutely HATE it. If you get a lawyer, any lawyer, and make it clear you're determined to win custody... Think about hubby's lawyer. He's got less that 1 chance in 10 of winning that issue... Damn poor odds. Rather than taking a huge risk of losing, he'll advise your hubby to cave. He'll have a private conversation, tell your hubby his chances of winning custody are essentially zero.... Your odds are better than 90% that "custody" won't even be litigated. You may fight over money and visitation, but if you're firm, I doubt you'll ever have to fight for custody. THE OTHER LAWYER HATES TO LOSE.

Answer 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHILD CUSTODY - What is the Balanced View? :
... What Is in the Child's Best Interests?
...... Child Custody - Religion & the Law
......... Child Custody, A Balanced View
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/1997/12/8/article_01.htm

Single-Parent Families Can Succeed! :
... Single-Parent Families on the Rise
... Single Parents, Multiple Challenges
... A Lone Parent, but Not Alone
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2002/10/8/article_01.htm

HOPE - Where Can You Find It? :
... Does It Really Make a Difference?
...... Why Do We Need Hope?
......... You Can Fight Pessimism
............ Where Can You Find Real Hope?
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/4/22/article_01.htm

Alone, But Not Lonely :
... Why So Many Lonely People?
... Coping with Loneliness
... When No One will Ever be Lonely Again
... What You Can Do About Loneliness
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/6/8/article_01.htm

You might want to read over the above information. Although these articles won't answer the exact question you've posed here, they do have apt answers to Many Others that do apply to your family's current situation. You can find several related articles at ...
http://www.watchtower.org/archives/index.htm#families

I sincerely hope that things work out well for your family.

"Make Sure of All things; Hold Fast to what is Fine!" (1Th5:21)

Answer 3

well, all i can tell u is that as a mother u have the legal right to have ur kids first but since u don't make a lot of money, u can always get on welfare or something until u make it on ur own, try getting a better job and show the judge that u can do it, the more u let them know u can raise them the more it looks good on ur part and sorry i don't know anything abou the legal aid in kansas

Answer 4

Yes - you can get your kids! And - he will have to pay child support. Also - after the divorce, a spouse - male or female - has the right in most states to live as they are accustomed to. That means alimony. And - he will also have to take care of the medical insurance.
A lot of states have really great lawyers in the aid department. Go talk to them! They will help you.
Just - don't go soft - and never bad mouth the ex to the kids!

Answer 5

I dont live in Kansas, and therefore cannot answer that part of your question. However, there is no reason why you should not be able to get custody unless your ex can prove you to be unfit. It doesn't matter how much you make. He would have to pay child support anyway. I dont' know if that helps you, but fight like hell and good luck!

Answer 6

As long as you are not an unfit mother, the kids will most likely stay with you.

Answer 7

Court.