Ok she said she didn't know he was even there. She had went to a friends house to do some partying it was supposed to be just a girl party. I showed up around 10pm and there was guys there. I tried to stay but she insisted I get our girls home and in bed, I left around midnight and went home, but returned at 6am and found her like that. Later that same day I told her she was not acting like my wife, or like she wanted to be my wife. I told her she had two choices either straighten up and start acting like my wife or she needed to leave, She left and I have not seen her or talked to sence. We have two kids age 7 and 8 I want to keep the kids Question What do I need to do to protect myself and keep the kids with me, can I leagly stop her from taking the kids, we own our own home that we got together also. I just need to know what I need to do to keep the home and children, she is the one tearing our home apart not me what do I do. I also am not rich it has to be cheep cant afford lawyer.
2006-07-11 11:43:59 · 18 answers · asked by Drifter 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I know you want to protect your children because if she could just pick up and leave for days then she is not a very responsible parent. She is behaving very selfishly. She doesn’t seem to be very worried about how her children must feel because they are probably wondering where's mommy and is she ok and is she ever coming back. Sometimes children even blame them selves. I don’t think the courts would consider her to be a stable parent. But it wouldn’t hurt to try and find out if she's at least ok. Make sure she hasn't returned because it was her choice not because something has happened to her or someone won’t allow her to go home. What state are you living in? I suggest you contact> United Fathers of America Inc. Or look up your nearest Self-Help Legal Access Center, or the courts Public Defender. If you seek help from the public defender you want to do it before she does and it might even be free or low cost. You can also call Info line free at 800-339-6993 if it is out of your area maybe they can help you finding assistance in your area. Info line is a 24 hour 7 days a week free information and referral service. They can help with a number of things such as legal referrals, emergency food and shelter, counseling, family problems, transportation much more. My prayers are with you and your family. Keep your head up and don't waist time on revenge. The best payback you can do is to allow this to make you a stronger person and do better. They hate that. God Bless!
2006-07-11 13:27:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce, child custody, support and parental rights are are ugly, and expensive issues. Yes, you do have legal ground to stand on, but it won't be cheap. I don't condone divorce, but if it's the only way, well, you'll have a pretty good case. You'll need to go to the court house, and start the paper work. File for parental rights and request full or major decision making. There really is a lot to it, so, I would suggest contacting a lawyer. Where I live they offer free legal advice once a week. See if there is something like that in your area, or even contact child services, tell them a bit of the situation, and see what kind of help you can get. The easiest/simplest way, pray for your wife to get her act together, talk to her, forgive her, and go to counseling with work. Work it out for the kids sake, if nothing else. If you both want to you can make it work, but marriage is work, and a partnership, it does take 2 and you both are already into it deep, with kids and all. Get some real help dude. And hey, my God is a more than enough God, I will pray for you as well!
2006-07-11 11:55:48 · answer #2 · answered by Matt B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'm sorry to hear about the way your wife is treating you. I really do think it is crummy of people to cheat. I'm glad you are trying to step up to the plate with the children. I don't really know a whole lot about custody. My parents were divorced, but I myself, have never been there. I have always heard that the parent that keeps the house has the advantage when it comes to custody of the kids. I have also heard that if one cheats they are at a disadvantage also. I highly recommend calling a lawyer and just asking questions. There are some that will do work for free "we don't get paid unless you do." (You only pay them if you win.) Not sure if that type of lawyer would do custody cases or not, but maybe you could get a free consultation or something.
Best of luck
2006-07-11 12:31:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your a 1in million type of guy first of all b/c she rushed you off from the party that shows she was guilty time she walked in the door their is no excuse for her being on the couch with another man you were nice enough to still let her come home but b/c she chose to leave after you confronted her shows she was just looking for a excuse to go back you will win custody of the kids by continuing to be a good father still let her see them as much as she wants don't try to keep the kids away from her trust me don't run after her she chose to break up your home she will she the grass isn't greener on the other side
2006-07-11 12:25:45 · answer #4 · answered by millie m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, it aint never cheap. She is the mother of the children, and she is entitled to half of their time as well as half of your combined assets. The courts really no longer cares who is a fault in the dissolution of marriages. The cheapest way to divorce her is that both of you talk first and agree on a settlement, both over the children, and to the terms of the property settlement. Then, you can use the same attorney. If it becomes an adversarial situation, with your lawyer against her lawyer, you both loose a pot of cash. And praying won't do a damn thing, only an attorney can. Check out some of the free services in your city.... Sorry for you... you sound like a nice guy, and a good dad. You deserve better in the way of a wife...
2006-07-11 11:56:09 · answer #5 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on where you stay, you can used the county's legal system which is set up for low income people. You will need an attorney, because there's property and kids in the marriage, there's no way around this. Only, unless she's been an unfit Mom, you may loose out on getting the kids, and the home may need to be sold to split the profits. So, you need to check and see if there is such a legal set up for your benefit.
2006-07-11 12:00:57 · answer #6 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well 1st of all, you need a lawyer, even if its not a high priced one. She cheated and left, so you will more than likely keep custody of the kids. Just make sure you're divorced before you start dating, or it could back fire. Whatever you do, as long as you don't have legal custody, don't cross any state lines with your kids. My friends wife did this, and he got awarded custody. But in your situation, it looks like you will get custody. Good-Luck with that.
2006-07-11 12:16:15 · answer #7 · answered by chulababy210 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, why don't you try to work things out first before you go down the other road. The girls only party would have sounded very fishy to me if I was a man and my wife told me that. In any case you and your wife need to talk to get a handle on this matter. Talk for the kids sake. Good luck.
2006-07-11 11:51:39 · answer #8 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to Spicey. The bottom line is ...she left...she abandoned you and her kids. Furthermore, her conduct is not befitting of a married woman. Instead of asleep on the couch with some guy..she should have been asleep in bed next to you-her husband. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and sound's like a duck...it's not a damn duck bill platypus. You need to focus on yourself and kids. First file for custody of the kids siting her with abandonment and file for child support. Secondly, if you file for a legal separation you can have her removed from the home pending a divorce settlement.Trust your best judgment. You may also want to seek advice from a marriage counselor.
2006-07-11 11:57:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to immediately seek legal counsel... in most states, if one spouse leaves the household and the children it is considered "abandonment" and is almost always grounds to award custody of the children to the parent that stayed in the family household and was caregiver to the children. You MUST seek legal help quickly as you can no longer claim abandonment if and when she returns. And on another note, sorry for your loss. Try to keep yourself together though for the good of your children... remember that they're probably missing their mom too. Good luck...
2006-07-11 11:52:55 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋