i have trust issues and now my boyfriend wants out of the realtionship how do i convince him to stay?

Question

i have been cheated on before in previous relationships and it is hard for me to trust my current boyfriend. we got in a bad argument the other day and now he wants to break up with me. i love him so much and i know he loves me and i want to convince him not to leave and that i am willing to work on my issues to keep him but at this point i think he is fed up and wants no part of it. what can i do to show him that i want our relationship to work and get him to give it one more chance?

Answer 1

before entering this relationship, you should have gotten your trust issues resolved by seeking some counseling, your now boyfriend has given you no reason not to trust him, if you really want him back seek the counseling and tell him you are working on your issues with trust and that you will judge him by the person he is and not by the actions of men that you were in relationships with before him....

Answer 2

He did something very bad to make you not trust him. If he did that behind your back, he is feeling that he needs to hide something from you! I've had a boyfriend like this too! If you dont have trust for him , then it will never work, especally across the world because you cant keep talking to him , or call him whenever you feel like it! End it before you get hurt too bad! Because if he's partying , and being with other girls, half naked, and he never invited you to do these things with him,then he's some kind of player that wants to seem single and wants to come home to you when nobody else knows! I have been in the same exact spot you are at right now. The next 4 years is going to be hard. Not only with him, but you have to stay focused on school. not on him! You should go to college, have fun, and have the time of your life. Your collage years are the years that you will remember for the rest of youfe life, so dont hide out in your dorm room hiding from other better things. If you gone thru alot in your relationship, and you dont trust eachother, then its time to move on to better things for yourself! When he's gone, the trust issues will just become more. Becaues they your going to think " what is he doing tonight, is he partying, is he hooking up with other girls ect..." its so stressful and exhausting to be thinking about that constantly!

Answer 3

I've been cheated on so many times, it's not even funny. & I've developed major trust issues as well. Think to yourself..is he like the others? Would he honestly do that to me? What has he done to reinforce my fears? hopefully, the answers to all those questions is either no or nothing. Basing trust on "what ifs" always, ALWAYS, leds to trouble.

Tell him you want this to work, but you need his help & support in this. You can't do this alone, & you love him & want him to help you through this tough time & maybe even help you get over it. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that.

But if he doesn't want any part in it, then let him go. You'll find a guy who will stick with you to help you through everything. I did, & i learned what I just told you from my current boyfriend.

Answer 4

I was the same way you are I've been cheated on before and it was hard for me to be with someone who had a reputation for being with a lot of girls but I fell in love with him and it was my choice to stay with him if you want this to work out with your man your going to have to stop being insecure and stop either accusing him of doing things if hes going to cheat there is nothing you can do about it but from the way things sounds he might not be doing anything but b/c you've been hurt its always in your head trust me stop being unsure of yourself try this for a week don't nag him little things that would bother you b4 that causes you to have arguments ignore them you will see how much better you feel and how your relationship takes off hope this helps you

Answer 5

trust is not an issue it is a problem most guys are afraid of because they can not commit! the fight was a smokescreen for his way out of the relationship, he probably already had another and when you mentioned trust it caught him off guard, if he really cared about you he would have understood and accepted your fears and helped to make them go away instead he went away, move on, love roccks!

Answer 6

i have the same problem. I dont let my imagination rule over reality. I tend to blow things out of proportion. The deeper issue is abandonment issues (so i have been told). I read about them and it really made me weep to read about something so true! Your problem is probably like mine, we cant believe anyone could really want us--we have low self esteem and it affects having a healthy relationship. I am in a healthy one now--this time i dont jump right to the end and assume he is screwing someone just because of something suspicious he did. dont always assume you are right and dont accuse--communicate calmly and tell him what is bothering you and why its more an issue of YOU.Its like having issues about not wanting to lose someone you love, so fear of losing them makes you sabotage a good thing. It makes you control the demise of your relationship and at least you have control of the ship as its going down. Try to talk to him about abandonment issues and why they affect you. When you feel that familiar feeling of distrust, really try to communicate with him--not blame so fast!! Ask yourself if you are being reasonable and really have evidence to back up your fears. Not everybody is untrustworthy

Answer 7

Trust issues are very hard to deal with. You need to get counseling for yourself. If he cant deal with it then he cant deal with it. They say when you meet the right person they will make your fears go away. Maybe he's just not the right guy.

Answer 8

sorry to say but sometimes you just my have to work out your issues before trying again. It's one of those life lessons that have to be learned before progressing on to the next phase. Evaluate your previous relationships to see if you can come up with a common denominator of why you were cheated on. It could be you just dated jerks, so to understand why you were attracted to them can help you to avoid that type of relationship

Answer 9

Show him you are for real by not bringing your previous relationship's baggage with you.

Trust HIM until HE gives you a reason not to. Not because someone else in your past gave you a reason not to trust.

Answer 10

Maybe he knows he'll cheat on you, and doesn't want to do that to you. You might want to ask... "What do you need to have happen in order to trust someone?"