Are there any men here who are chivalrous towards women? And what do you women think of men like this?

Question

Are there any left? Opening car doors for women. Standing up when they enter a room. Removing your hat. and all the other chivalrous stuff. I have to say I do my best I'm not perfect at it. What do you girls think of guys like this? You like em or just go for what you can get? Do you like being treated like a princess?

Answer 1

Female here...
While I'm certainly not against common courtesy -- if someone's behind me I open the door for them, and it's nice when the reverse happens, as an act of one human being for another.
and, while I know a couple girls who really like chivalry,
Personally, I find the art of being chivalrous to women for the sake of being chivalrous to women to be irritating and all-around uncomfortable.
This is a personal reaction, and I don't believe tied to my gender: I prefer to serve, not be served. It makes me very uncomfortable when a guy treats me like a princess b/c it feels like there's entirely too much attention focused on me. I like being at the back of the line, last to get off the elevator, or the one holding the door for everyone else.
I will also mention, and please don't take it as a judgment on all men who try to be chivalrous, that the few I have dated who did such things routinely also seemed to be discontent when I wasn't the model of femininity, a barbie doll that smiled and sang their praises constantly. So perhaps I've been made more uncomfortable by it thanks to my experiences.

It's great that you practice it if that's what you believe in doing, but I know a couple other women who are just as uncomfortable with it as I am, so I would say that your best bet is simply to pay attention to the signs the women around you give -- if you let the woman in the elevator with you get off first does she pause briefly, give an honest smile, and then go, or does she hesitate for too long/try to get you to go first/give only half a smile? If you think she's uncomfortable with it you don't have to stop all together, just don't push anything (go first if she insists)/ don't make a big deal of it (speeding up your steps to get to the door first so you can hold it for her).
The most chivalrous thing you can do, imho, is take into consideration how she feels on the matter - obviously you're interested in doing that since you asked the question.

ps. don't get upset if you open the door for a stranger and then get the sense she's uncomfortable with it -- most women I know who are uncomfortable with it also understand that it's a part of our culture, and that the guy doing it is doing so with the best of intentions, so we're not thinking ill of you.

Answer 2

I love chivalry and I wish that more men possessed it. Chivalry seems lost on the men of today, but sometimes I'll meet a man who will wait for me to enter while he holds the door or pull my chair out and I am grateful. I would love to date a man who is chivalrous. His kindness and attention would not go unnoticed. I would definitely show him my appreciation. Yes, I do like being treated like a princess, but since I am a little older now, I love being treated like a queen. If I am treated royally, the treatment will be returned.

Answer 3

I've never had anyone remove their hat or stand up when I enter a room, but being polite and opening doors is nice.

Most women like it, I think, as long as you don't go overboard. It's nice to be treated with respect.

Personally, I think well of men who are in general polite to others.

Answer 4

Yes! Absolutely! A lot of women take on that 'don't do it for me I can do it myself' attitude because they really just don't feel good about themselves. However, a woman who truly knows her worth loves and respects any man who is a true gentleman. Contrary to popular belief, chivalry is alive and well and very welcomed in most women's circles. It's definitely welcomed and preferred in mine. If you're a gentlemen and you're with a girl who doesn't respect that, lose her fast because she also doesn't respect herself or you! Keep being a gentlemen babe. It will pay off for you and you will find a girl who can appreciate and value all the best you have to offer! She will also give you her best at all times! God Bless! :)

Answer 5

Sorry, last time I opened a car door for my date, I got a punch in the nose and a 45 minute lecture on feminism. I'd like to be chivalrous again, but until the ladies chain themselves to the kitchen sink without asking I'll be afraid to try it.

Answer 6

I hate to say this, but I think the girls who like this special treatment are the ones who probably deserve it (i.e., beautiful, nice, respectful towards men, etc.). But the ones who say they don't like it usually have never had this treatment in the first place. These are the ugly, manly, feminist, fat girls that can never get a decent guy so they settle with, yes you guessed it, other girls in the same defeated situation.

Answer 7

No, chivalry is not dead. I always try to have proper courtesy in any situation. There is nothing wrong with it, my wife enjoys it very much. I think that it is only sporting for a man to open doors and assist any way possible for a woman.

Answer 8

My wife likes it--and that is all that matters to me. Some women like it, some do not, I guess--but I think everyone likes to be treated prefferentially. At college today, a young man held the door for me (my gray hair might have made him think I was a proffesor)--at any rate, I appreciated it, and said thanks. Civility in society is sure better than incivility!!

Answer 9

i don`t know about chivalrous, but i have a male mate who always looks out for me and this makes me appreciate him all the more. Examples, he warned me of the presence of a guy i`m avoiding when i was working. i was unaware of this guys presence in my workplace, so the heads up was really appreciated as i was able to avoid the other guy!

Answer 10

It is always a pleasure when a man acts chivalrous ... providing he is not doing so ONLY to win my favor, but that chivalry is his nature.