What can someone do to get the spark back into marriage?

Question

Been married 3Yrs.,together a total of 9yrs.,have made love 3or4 times this whole year.I've been unemployed last 3 months,my wife says she's just depressed, as am I.Both in early to mid 40's and healthy,she also says she's just not as interested in sex after menopause.Is this normal?

Answer 1

Being married doesn't mean that the dating has to stop. You should still be courting your wife and sending her little love notes and small gifts, even if it's a homemade card that says, "I love you.. I appreciate you.. You mean the world to me.."
Rub her back... rub her feet... Tell her how beautiful she looks.. How good she smells..
All those things are things that I appreciate from my husband.
You don't have to spend a fortune to show the person you love that you love them.. it's the little things..and I'm sure that once you've started, her desire to please you will come alive once again.
Best wishes to you both~~

Answer 2

Depression can certainly cause a dramatic drop in sex drive. Go talk to a counselor. If your wife is menopausal and she's mid 40's that's a bit early, but if she is menopausal she can get HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) which will help her feel better and improve her sex drive. However, she has to want HRT and there are risks involved, so she should talk to her doctor. It sounds to me like you have both got into a bit of a rut (not blaming you) but it happens! Why don't you both try to go away for a few days perhaps to a relatives if money is not flowing too good. sometimes a different environment and time out to be with each other for some quality time can help, but if it is depression you both need to speak to your doctor. Good luck and don't give up!

Answer 3

All is totally normal. Been there at one time or another. Need to rekindle the easy kickback time you had when you first started dating. Go for a walk to a park close by. Drive to a park and walk. Get out of four walls that is closing you both in.
It is hard when there is no money. Go for a ice cream cone. Maybe for swim some place close.
You have to go back to the basics. And just take your time. Re get to know each other.
She will get her feelings back also. It does take time and patients.

Answer 4

Go buy the book 5 love lauguages.. learn each other's love language and that will lead you onto a road to recovery.. Don't give up on looking for work.. something will turn up. Try to be positive! your life is how you feel.. You feel negitive then that's exactly how your life will turn out. To tomorrow get up and say today I find a job.. Your confidience will push you foward..
Good luck.. :)

Answer 5

Two words for you babe-
WHIPPED CREAM!

Stir things up some-get funky!

And yes, it is normal for her to feel a bit less frisky after the "change". She could try seeing her doctor about it.

As for you, Mister...Do you snuggle and cuddle for no good reason? Do you touch her (hugs, back rubs, etc) without expecting sex? She may just need some affection. My husband walks up to me with his hands ready to grab my boobs. It makes me want to slap him. He never touches me unless he wants sex. Don't do that to her.

Hugs, kisses, help out around the house. When she looks stunningly beautiful, tell her so. If you love her, tell her so. Sounds simple and it is.

Good luck.

Answer 6

whenever me and hubby feel stressed with each other or are going through a bad patch,we go camping doesn't sound much fun but when ther is no distractions at all and no other people you have to rely on each other,you will get back to basics of each other and a good bottle of wine will help to relax you both .
Try it you have nothing to lose
Good Luck1

Answer 7

first u need to talk about it and what u can do to resolve it and then you need to promise to do everything you can do to keep the spark in your marriage