For those who have left their spouse, what did you do to prepare? I am planning to leave and need some ideas?

Question

My kids are over 21 and I have already started putting my things in a storage locker. I just need to save a little more money and go.

Do I tell my kids ahead of time? They are over 21.

Answer 1

Stash as much CASH away as you can, away from home. Not in a bank. Cash. Don't tell anyone that you have a secret stash of cash, but get one. See a lawyer before you leave. Do not tell your spouse of your plans.

So much depends on why you are leaving, if it is a husband that makes 5 times what you do or is abusive. You must think of yourself first in this type of situation.

Now if you are some guy trying to get out of child support and playing fair, I would have another whole bit of advice for you.

Why were you so careful not to use husband or wife? Why spouse? Do you not know circumstances greatly affect answers to a question such as this? Also very important is the reason you are leaving and whether or not you have children.

Answer 2

First off, make sure you have a valid copy of all birth certificates (you shouldn't need his), social security cards (you will need his number), any and all financial records copied, your identification, some money saved up, your clothes, and if you have children, file a temporary child custody order because if you don't, he can come get the kids any time and it WON'T be kidnapping, as there is nothing showing custody (it will also outline visitation, so that will be out of the way). Decide when and how you're going to do this and contact the local police to let them know you are NOT going to be a missing person but may be reported as one, or leave a note. If you are worried about your safety (due to domestic abuse, even if verbal) contact your local battered women's shelter or file for a protective/restraining order. All the stuff above about joint accounts, credit cards, etc. is correct as well, so I won't go into that.

The VERY FIRST THING you need to do if you can afford it is employ an attorney. Even if you have to find one that will let you pay him up before you actually leave, get one that will work with you to separate. A good attorney can freeze all assets so you don't get taken to the cleaners on your divorce. Good luck and I hope all goes well.

Answer 3

it depends on the reason for leaving your spouse, if it is because of mental or physical abuse then u should have a placel lined up and move your stuff out while spouse is gone and then tell them why u left when they come home. If it is because u r having a affair then there is no easy thing to do so just come right out and tell your spouse about it and move out. If it is because u tried everything and cannot rekindle the sparks then try and remain civil and talk to spouse and explain that u cannot fix the way u feel that u have tried and then leave. If it is because your spouse is having the affair then pack up your spouses things and when spouse gets home tell them how u feel and to move out. But probably the best thing to do is just line yourself a place up and tell spouse it is always hard in the beginning and only time will make it easier on either party. Any children involved? If so r u taking them or leaving them with spouse? Either way if children involved don't forget to talk to them and let them know what is going on don't leave them in the loop that can scare a child so much more and feel very insecure.

Answer 4

1. Cancelled the joint credit cards.
2. Closed the joint banking account. Or at the very least, open up one with just your name on it, and move 1/2 the money over at the last minute.....do not take more than half.
3. Make sure you have his SSN in case you need to file for child support.
4. Contact all your creditors, usually has to be a letter, and explain that any charges after xx date are his only...and don't run up those loans.

Bottom line is...anything that's in both your names...you want it in only one name, if possible. If he's staying and you're going, you need all the utilities out of your name. If he runs up a huge telephone bill and doesn't pay it, you'll be the one who has to pay it off later AND put down a big deposit to get a new phone. Make sure the cell bill isn't in your name for his cell, if you have one.

Play nice. Play fair. Don't take more than 1/2 of anything, as you're not entitled (in most states) to more than 1/2. You're also "entitled" to 1/2 the joint debts, so you need to remember that too.

It would be nice, if you could approach this as adults and come to some sort of meeting of the minds....but that so rarely happens, it's barely worth mentioning.

Answer 5

Get your own checking account and start putting money away. If you have children and are not in an abusive situation then you should tell your spouse your leaving and make arrangements for visituation so that you don't make an ugly situation even uglier. Go through your pictures and sentimental items and pack up what you want before hand. Don't rent a uhaul and clean out the entire house while he's at work. Be fair.

Answer 6

Well, do you have any kids? What I did was tried to work things out first but it sounds as if you are past that point. You need to go to a lawyer and prepare in getting a legal seperation and start packing your belongings. But talk to your spouse, and make your intentions known. its hard starting all over again but sometimes it is better for you. I know, I have been there

Answer 7

Rent a storage unit and gradually get out anything that you don't want to have to leave behind in a hurry, because once you announce you are leaving, who knows what will happen. Make sure you don't take anything too obvious - just the things that mean a lot to you. Try to have a place to stay lined up too - even if it's with a friend.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Get your finances together
Find a job
Fix your credit before leaving
get a separate bank account
start think what what you want from the house, family heirlooms, pictures, etc.
Start shopping around for an apartment that you can afford
Change your passwords and pin numbers on credit card and atm cards
Get legal advice if you are planning for a divorce
Get copies of important documents such as tax returns, property titles, marriage certificates.
Have stock and bonds? See how much are worth now.


Good luck

Answer 9

Make sure you have enough money...a safe place to stay , clothes, and friends that have your back. Leave the cell phone if you have one (so they can't call you) and just leave a note...Leave when they aren't home to avoid a fight...Tell your boss that you will have to take about 1 week off (cooling period) so your spouse doesn't come by and if they do you won't be there...they will think you quit your job too...if you need more email me @ [e-mail]

Answer 10

It took me a month to get ready. I had to make sure that I had a place to stay once I was out the door. I also had to find at place close to where I was going to, to store all my stuff that I couldn't take with me. I had to find people that was willing to come help me move out. I had to rent a truck (U-Haul) to move the big stuff. I had to get boxes, etc., to pack my stuff in. And you also will need money!! I started packing about 3 weeks prior to moving out and hide what boxes that I had packed. When I made the move, I did it fast, I did it while he was gone from the house. By the time he got home almost everything was gone. Now don't get me wrong on this, it's not like I just up and moved out on him. He was always telling me that he just needed a place of his own, so I gave it to him, I moved out! Now he is sorry!!!
If you need anymore help, yell at me and I will see what I can help you with.