I'm attracted to guys outside of my race!!?

Question

What do a girl do when her family/friends want her to date guys from her own kind? I mean what is a certain kind? I mean, I know whom I 'm attracted to and I can't stop from feeling like this. Some of my peers think it's b/c of the way I've been treated by one man and feel like they're all like that, which is so untrue. I just happen to like white guys from the get go. The ones I've met just happen to be friendly, nice, cool and doesn't treat me like some black guys would. I'm not stereotyping anyone for that matter; all I'm saying is everyone has their own choice and picks, why can't I have mine?

Answer 1

lucky for me,my family dont care if i marry outside my race.my dad always ask me when i'm going to get married again.my ex husband black.my new man is white,and my whole family loves him.plus even if they have problem with it,i can always ask him why did he marry my mom who happens to be filipina.and he is black. .i personally always prefer dating outside my race.i guess because i always thought that white men are so hot.and yeah they treat me better.and the sex helps too.lol.do not worry about what anybody says.its your life.

Answer 2

Sweetheart you can have your own choice and picks. You have to live your life and live life for your self. Do things that make you happy in your love life. If your parents are being ignorant about you dating outside your race, don't include them in your relationships. If they can't be respectful then all they need to know is that you have a boyfriend and what his name is and what he does and how nice he is to you. Once your parents start to see how happy you are being with a guy of a different race and notice he treats you right and really cares about you, all the racial feelings they have will just go away. They will come to accept him and you being together.

There is nothing wrong with dating outside your race. Your family/parents, my family/parents and every one elses family/parents are from back in the day, where interracial dating wasn't around too much. You would see a interracial couple every now and then, but now days everyone is in a interracial relationship. So they are not used to seeing it and were not taught to accept it.

Your grandparents were probably taught that dating anyone outside their race was wrong, so they just keep teaching it down the line, then your parents taught it to you. Honestly its up to you to teach your generation and future generations inside your family that dating a different race isn't wrong.
Seeing that you like to date outside your race.

Parents also believe that the theory of ,"It or this can never happen to us or my child". Like dating outside your race is a crime or something. Love doesn't have a color it only has a heart.

Good luck to you always.

Answer 3

You need to push the question "why can't I have my own choice and picks?" out of your head because you do have your choice and picks. You just do not know whether you should stand by your decision.
I am in the same situation actually. I am Asian, brand-new-immigrant. My parents expect me to marry an Asian guy. Everytime I bring up the option of meeting other people, for example, American guys, they curve their lips. Do I care? Not really. Asian guys are ok. But if I meet someone and the attraction is extremely strong, I will not turn him away because of his race. Your parents are either conservative or they just want to protect in anyway that they can. But what they say does not change the fact that you are the one who would have to face the attraction and this is your life. Show them that you can control your life and will be responsible for your decision. Show them that races does not effect a person's personalities and good quality. Show them that this doesn't have to be a big deal. Do what you want. Do what you think is right. But on the other hand, mind your parents' opinions and worries. Good luck!

Answer 4

You know the answer as well as anybody else, unless your ignorant of the facts and need to REALLY study history (and not from school text books).

What matters most is how you feel and what's right for YOU. If you make a decision, ANY decision based on what other people think, just take a gun, put it to your head and pull the trigger.

Who's life are you living? Yours or theirs?

To tell you the truth, I don't think their objections are based on because your attractde to white guys, it's something else.

What could it be?

Who cares. But one things for sure; whatever it is, it's not sensable and honest. I wouldn't waste my time trying to figure that out. Being an African-American WOMAN is difficult enough to deal with in terms of how American society veiws and treats you. The last thing you need is to be is in the middle of a tug of war between races. Just take comfort in the fact that your happy with what makes YOU feel good and that you have the ability to make your own desicions based on intellegence and responsibility.

Be happy and move foward.

Answer 5

I know it can be hard when everyone that is supposed to support you turns their backs on you. I am in the same situation except in reverse. I am white and am in a relationship with a black guy. We have a kid together and are going to be married soon. the advice I can give you is this, if you are strong enough to go for what you want and you can handle the backlash from family and friends then make yourself happy. If you want to be with a white guy be with one. People are people we need to stop seeing color first and start seeing the person inside the color.

Answer 6

Well i did have the same problem as you. People of my own race get jealous whenever we walked together in the village. I wasn't interested to guys of my own race because they look like my brother and because men in my country beat their women. I was afraid of them. I saw this white guy in the bar where all the locals were hanging out. He was the only white guy there. Anyway we talked and i was fall for him. I was wondering what white guys were like and how do they feel. I was inlove at first sight. He was the first guy i ever sleep with and now we are happily married. We moved to America coz we couldn't take anymore gossip and jealousy of my people. They said i like him for money but he wasn't a rich guy. I love his heart he treat me like a real woman.

Answer 7

I am like you. I've always been attracted to white guys. I am Asian and since I was in high school, I've always had a thing for Caucasian fellas. Who cares what others think... your happiness matters the most and that's what you should be thinking about. So what if he's white... does that make him any better? You shouldn't care about what others think or say... think of yourself and think about your own happiness. Trust me, follow your heart... you will not regret it.

Good luck!

Answer 8

I think its a problem many people have to face.
You really have to ask yourself, "am I willing to lose this for my happiness?"
the reason I say this is because you cannot help who you are attracted to. no one can. if people force you to be with someone because of their race and you are not attracted to them you are going to be miserable. however, if you go with the other guy, would u lose your friends or your family members? would they really disown you? In my experience i have found out that they wont because I am a product of a mixed relationship. my grandfater didn't want my mom to be with my dad (mom white and dad black) and didn't talk to her for a while. after i was born, my mom said he never said anything again, because he loved me. its hard to hate your grandchildren/relatives even if they are of a different race.
for that reason i encourage dating outside your own race because it opens more opportunities and kills a lot of stereotypes. it will take them time to get use to it but they will come around.
if they don't then its their lose, because they are losing you, and losing an opportunity to expand themselves onto the world.

Answer 9

You sound like me. I've only dated white men with two exceptions. My family(my mother really) wanted to know why I was dating outside my race and I told her the truth that I just have never met someone within my race that I've felt attracted too. Over time my parents have gotten used to the idea and haven't really said to much to me about since. I guess over time they just let is go.

Answer 10

I already asked the same thing and there is nothing wrong with it. I am puertorican, and to be honest with you I don't like the guys my race. I am more attracted to white american or european guys. Anything but mine lol. What matters is if the love and mutual attraction you have for that other person not the race.

Answer 11

What really matters is that you are happy. Try discussing the situation with your family, after all, family is important especially if you end up marriyng this guy. If your family cannot deal with it than ultimately you can do what you want to do,however; on the other hand it may be an uphill battle when it comes to dealing with your family.

Good luck!