Should I call him and get it over with?

Question

Should I return a phone call of an ex boyfriend who still has feeling for me. But Im married and hes not.he is in love with me and he tells my friend that if I dont return his phone calls hes going to tell my husband some stuff of me in my past thats personal and my man has no idea of them.what should i do i feel like if he is black mailing me.

Answer 1

i wouldnt call him back because that will just open a can of worms.... and if he does have the nuts to call your husband either tell him he's lying or say yea, that happened, but it doesnt matter now because i married you and i love you and i will not apologize for having a past

Answer 2

First of all, tell your husband. Honesty in a marriage is the best policy.

Without going into the naughty details, tell your husband about this ex contacting you and that even though you told the ex how happily married you are and to buzz off, the ex keeps stalking you. Ask you husband for advice.

I'd also contact the phone company and ask how you can block the ex's calls.

By you being honest and upfront to your husband, the ex's threat to tell your husband stuff won't matter anymore.

Listen to your husband's advice. If the guy calls again, calmly tell him that while as a younger person you found him interesting and fun, now, with age and experience you have found your soul mate and he is your husband! Let him know that you have no desire to talk or see him. Tell him that you haven't even thought about him for years. And tell him that he is not to call or contact you again. If he persists, you will consider this stalking and will pursue a legal recourse to end it. It is IMPORTANT that you DO NOT BE NICE OR FRIENDLY to him.

Why go out for hamburgers when you can stay home and have steak every night of the week.

Answer 3

Red flags in this question
He is clearly USING you.
He knows you. He knows how you will react when he says things.
And you know what, 2 can play this game.
If he expects you to return his calls, dont. And delete his number from your phone. Make sure that you dont EVER answer his call.
He knows that anything he says to your friend gets through to you.
Hence your friend is the unwitting 'phone cord'.
He believes that if he tells your friend that he loves you and stuff, your heart would melt ( which is obviously true, because you are here asking this question )
So he knows something about your past that your hubby does not. Everyone has their secrets that are dead and buried.
Its not like you are a rapist or a murderer or Jack the Ripper or Osama's concubine !!!
If he is threatening to spill the beans to your hubby, then I would suggest that you sit your hubby down and tell him everything so that there are absolutely no surprises. That way you beat him at his own game.
Dont worry, blackmailers thrive on their victims fear. Once you are not scared, then they just go their way.
If he stays, get your husband and the cops involved.
And just for the record, he DOES NOT LOVE YOU. He is just loving all the attention you are giving him.

Answer 4

I would not let him blackmail you. Don't call him back. Instead, tell your husband that an ex boyfriend who you've long gotten over is still fixated on you and you've made it clear to the ex to leave you alone. Also tell your husband that this unsavory character threatened to tell of things in your past. You should be able to confide in your husband, but if you've done stuff you're ashamed of in your past long ago (and believe me, everyone has skeletons in the closet) or you're afraid it will hurt him unnecessarilly, you can tell your husband that this ex said he would make up things about you to him. Better yet, once you get this off your chest to your husband, maybe he'll offer to call the ex for you and that will certainly take care of that. If the ex still slanders and stalks, there are laws in place for that and you should file a police report if he persists. Good luck!

Answer 5

Well tell your husband about your life before you married him. If you don't he will find out in the most worst possible ways. And if you continue to hide things from your husband he will not trust you. And why are you having contact with an ex? Are wanting a divorce? Are you totally not committed to your man? Imagine if your husband was asking these same question you are to the world, how would you feel? MAYBE like you are now.

Answer 6

yeah.. do NOT return the phone call. This ex sounds evil. Take a chance. Maybe talk to your husband about it. Come clean and share some of your past with your husband. He will love you anyway. We are all human. He will be proud that you confided in him and team up against the ex freak.

Answer 7

Call him and let him know that its truely over between you two, and tell him so what if he wants to tell your husband about your past. Simply because thats your past, you cant change that, just like you cant change your husbands. I'm very sure theres things that hes done that you dont know about either. And if he does tell your husband, tell him the same thing, you cant help what happened in your past, and you're sorry he found out something like that from someone else.

Answer 8

Call your husband and tell him this creep from your past is trying to break the two of you up because you refuse to talk to him. You can either do the right thing and tell him the things this *** might say to him so he doesn't hear it from someone else, or you can lie and tell him that he'd say anything to break the two of you up and not to believe anything he says. This later choice is not the right thing to do however, because if you're lying to him he's bound to find out eventually and you'll have lied to him too much by then to keep him. Trust is invaluable and your love is surely strong enough to handle this.

Answer 9

GIRL! But that Bamma in his place. First of all, that is not LOVE if he wants to ruin your marriage. You married the other guy for a reason. Ya broke up for a reason. TELL YOU HUSBAND what is up with the EX. IF you have not done anything then you are ok. What is more important your marriage or this NUTs feelings.

Answer 10

He is blackmailing you. If you call him and you slip and say something that your husband knows about you NOW, then he can use it later and say "she even said ......" and your husband will KNOW you talked to him. Be careful. He may be faking anyway. I think it's less dangerous for you if you don't call him. Maybe you can come clean and tell your husband things that happened (it's in the past right so what difference does it make?) You may be surprised he may be understanding.

Answer 11

Ignore the ex first of all. Go to your husband and tell him ahead of time. It'd be better to hear any secrets from you than some ex. He IS your husband and loves you I'm sure and will understand. Then you'll have someone to talk to about this ex bothering you too.