Keep in mind that his wife has gotten re- married without divorcing him first ( or at least to his knoweledge ). The only way she could have received this divorce is by putting an ad in the paper as to his whereabouts and he did not respond. But this cannot be since it is a small state and DHS knows where the husband is because he has custody of their children and he is receiving child support through her. they have been living together for almost 7 years and his girlfriend has asked why he does not charge her with polygamy?My opinion is that he wants the milk but not the cow !!!!
Please any help you can give my sister is in need.
2006-07-11 09:10:59 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wanted to be sure that my question was understood. The HUSBAND has custody of his children.His wife left when the kids were very very young - around 6&4 yrs. of age ( they are now 19 & 16 ) - so 1 to go I guess you could say. His wife has since remarried without this man's knowledge. He found out about 1yr. and a half ago that she is remarried. And for some unknown reason he will not go after her for polygamy. As far as HIM having to pay child support there is no chance of that - the children DO NOT want to have anything to do with there mother. I hope I have added enough information to clear up any misunderstanding. Sorry for any confusion. And thank you to the ones that have answered me already. I hope I can help my sister. I know she DOES love this man with all of her heart. And it just tears me up to see her hurting and feeling rejected and not worthy of this mans respect..
2006-07-11 09:27:11 · update #1
Divorces are a matter of public record. Your sister should find out what state/county the divorce occurred and then get a copy of the papers. I wonder if the wife is claiming to be married but is not legally.
My question is why the husband hasn't bothered to file for divorce???
I think you are right on the cow milking issue!
2006-07-11 09:15:13 · answer #1 · answered by Searcher 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many people have strong ideas of what is right in a marital situation that reaches back to their own childhood. He feels that he is being honorable and doing the right thing for his children and he doesn't want there to be any chance that some other man will get to be called Dad by his children.
What you have here is a man of character who does not care what other people are doing - he is doing what he thinks is right. He sounds like a good and honorable catch. It would be hard for me to put myself in his position - men who are seperated from their children have a hard road as far as maintaining a strong, deep and honest relationship with those kids, and the ones who try should be rewarded and helped as much as possible.
My husband and I got married on our own because we knew that we wanted to get married much earlier than our parents could handle - so we exchanged vows and jewelry and felt and acted married before it was legal. In many states common law marriage are recognized, certainly most by 7 years. So "married" doesn't mean that she is a polygamist.
This man has clearly moved on from his ex wife and is making a stand about his kids. If I was his girlfriend I would be happy to have such an honorable man and look forward to the kids coming of age and his divorcing so we could celebrate our own common-law marriage - but I don't think I would wait until then until I acted like we were a team. You don't need the piece of paper to know that you have committed your lives to each other.
Peace!
2006-07-11 09:25:31 · answer #2 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the guy is running a scam. I would bet money he is divorced because in this day and age it is pretty hard for his ex to get remarried without that having happened. I think he just doesn't want to get married again because it would possibly change his child support status. Your sister is probably contributing tons to help him take care of his kids and his house and who knows what else and is getting nothing in return. She probably isn't even on the title to the house or the car. One of these days he will just say so long and leave her with nothing.
2006-07-11 09:16:18 · answer #3 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a polygamist or got a divorce on the sly.. I would say he ought to find out. I don't think the polygamy stuff is the problem here..
My guess is pride on his part doesn't want to admit she dumped him to his children.
If she is paying child support that is the right tact, he needs to take care of the kids he brought into the world before considering any new relationship. (a Dr Laura moment)
2006-07-11 09:38:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is a divorced man who does not want to remarry and is too chicken $hit to tell his girlfriend. He is a user and a loser.
You are very right about the milk and cow. He doesn't need to buy the whole cow when he can get all the milk he wants for free.
2006-07-11 09:16:03 · answer #5 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
When I am stuck, I go see a counselor. He sounds like he doesn't want to marry his current girlfriend, just have the benefits. Check if the state has common law marriage, that might give the girlfriend some benefit. For the ex wife she may get him to lose custody by his failure to respond to the divorce proceeding.
Good Luck
2006-07-11 09:21:06 · answer #6 · answered by smile31416 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is 2 reasons, First is avoiding the required amount of child support and the second one is a good reason for the children sake that they are not broken family their mom and dad are not divorce just separated and anytime they will reconcile.
Positive thinking. And I want you to know that if one of them file a divorce and been signed. there will be separation of investment, whatever they bought during marriage as conjugal properties. So a lot of things to figure if its happens.
2006-07-11 09:23:10 · answer #7 · answered by dreamer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you may be right - if they are still having a relationship. But then again, regardless of divorce, he could still pursue both relationships anyway, so that's a hard question. What is he saying his reason is for this? Maybe he's lying about her being remarried and that he doesn't ever plan on divorcing her.
2006-07-11 09:15:20 · answer #8 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/YJivs
They might realize they need you and come crawling back!
If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.
2015-02-04 06:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this is a ruff area. if your sis has a good home a good job and can support the kids try to get custody of them. if she dosn't want custody then try to go thru the corts with a lawyer. those are the only options that would stop him from feeding off the child support that's i can think of. sorry, that's the best i can offer
2006-07-11 09:16:32 · answer #10 · answered by siddragoon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋